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| Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Hell as explained by a chemistry student |
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Dirk Ralthar Thief          Since: 07-18-06 From: Malthar Since last post: 6130 days Last activity: 6101 days |
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| This is something I got in an email from someone that I do ren-faires with... I thought it was funny as hell... forgive the pun. Here it is... (too bad there is no fire or devil smiley)
Hell, as explained by a chemistry student The following is a question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. *Bonus Question*: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: “First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you’, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.” (Last edited by Dirk Ralthar on 09-09-06 12:55 AM) |
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FX Zombie Marco Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3829 days Last activity: 3725 days |
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That was.....kinda boring, except for the 'I slept with her last night part' that was hilarious.  (Last edited by FX on 09-09-06 02:34 AM) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| Heh, I remember reading this before on a joke website that also had a bunch of long-winded science jokes like the one about survival of the fittest and its relation to your brain cells.
That one goes that example were a herd of buffalo attacked by predators, they would take down the sickest and weakest of the herd, thus making the herd a stronger by average. This applies to consuming alcohol with your brain cells, it would take out the weakest nuerons, leaving your mind sharper. Yeah, I'm lame. >P You do faires, Dirk? We gotta talk more, sugar.  |
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ShadowKnight Beast  Since: 06-28-06 Since last post: 6219 days Last activity: 5727 days |
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Wow. I laughed quite a bit when I read that. Nice explanation of hell you got there.  So now I know that there's a divine being and that we're all going to heaven, too... |
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Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 91 days Last activity: 89 days |
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| I believe in the Hell as described from Dante's Inferno. Hell is already frozen over. He just proved what I believe right! In my belief, Hell was never hot, but was more of a place where evil souls are tortured for eternity (or until reincarnation) and they are punished according to their most potent sin, such as people who always look ahead have their heads turned backwards and are doomed to wander for all eternity.
Anyway, I thought the joke was pretty funny, but nothing I'll remember. |
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Spartan Metal battleaxe Is back. Kind of. Since: 11-15-04 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 76 days |
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| I dont believe in a Hell nor a Heaven. I die. and get Reincarnated. simple as that.
and Dirk thats damn funny. You should come by the high school some time. call me first maybe we can do lunch. |
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Tatrion Merchant Since: 08-12-06 From: Sphere Sector Since last post: 6599 days Last activity: 6585 days |
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| Nerd jokes are the best.
It's even better though, since it merges high and low-brow entertainment together  |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4606 days |
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| This is by far one of the greatest things I have ever seen. It's intelligent, well written,
funny as hell and it actually makes perfect sense from a scientific standpoint if you think about it. I'm going to print this and take it to my philosophy teacher to see what she thinks about the whole thing. |
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Logos Again? Banned  Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6104 days Last activity: 6194 days |
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| Doesn't the joke assume that souls have mass? | |||
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4606 days |
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| The thing that most of you aren't getting is that it's NOT a joke. It's an answer,
written by a college student on a college level chemistry mid term. Now the answer was funny in some respects but it was also really well written. I love the interpretation the writer used for the different aspects needed to calculate the exothermic or endothermic properties of Hell. My question though is what grade did the teacher give for that answer? |
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Dirk Ralthar Thief Since: 07-18-06 From: Malthar Since last post: 6130 days Last activity: 6101 days |
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| Don't know... didn't say... I would assume an A... that is what I would give it. But you know what they say about assumptions... makes an ass out of you and me... | |||
Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5073 days Last activity: 1383 days |
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| That was Flawless Victory. END POST!!!!!
In reality, I do believe that it was a very good essay written perfectly. Even though it was a joke(or a real incident) I still admire the writer of this essay. for their perfection. |
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