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11-23-24 07:17 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Computer genders | |
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FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3832 days
Last activity: 3727 days
Posted on 08-20-06 01:53 PM Link | Quote

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or "She's listing to starboard Captain!"). Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

  1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.


  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.


  3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."


  4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.


  5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasonsfollow:

  1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.


  2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.


  3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.


  4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.


  5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.


EDIT: w00t 900th post. 1000 here I come


(Last edited by FX on 08-20-06 05:28 PM)
01001000
Slow Ride
Take It Easy









Since: 01-10-05

Since last post: 6528 days
Last activity: 5878 days
Posted on 08-20-06 02:19 PM Link | Quote
First line above the summary

Computers are masculine when using the French language.
I know this is supposed to be a joke but I do like to be a smartass.


(Last edited by HoboConductor on 08-20-06 05:20 PM)
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 935 days
Last activity: 935 days
Posted on 08-20-06 04:27 PM Link | Quote
In almost every other culture and language, except for American and British English where it has no gender and most of the Romantic languages where it is male, the computer is female.

In English, our objects don't really have a gender, but the only reason most object are referred to as female are because they are owned by males. Heterosexual males, that is. My car is male, because I said so. Most of everything I own is male. My computer has no gender, or is asexual, or has both genders.


(Last edited by Zabuza on 08-20-06 07:30 PM)
venomouslobster

Scarfy








Since: 05-03-05
From: california (knows how to party)

Since last post: 6329 days
Last activity: 5578 days
Posted on 08-21-06 03:52 AM Link | Quote
My computer is a male deity of war and Oblivion (both game and concept) and he is called "The Jade Monkey". He glows blue with an internal azurescant fire! I must sacrifice to him three goats and an eighth grade girl every Nortonmas when the moon waxes full and the blood gods call to me!
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 101 days
Last activity: 101 days
Posted on 08-31-06 03:07 AM Link | Quote
I tend to refer to my computer as "it" generally... the only inanimate object that I tend to assign genders to are cars for some reason. Of course, lots of people do that, so at least I am not alone.
WhiteRose

Warrior
Sailor Delerium

Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.








Since: 08-17-04
From: The Dreaming

Since last post: 4453 days
Last activity: 5157 days
Posted on 08-31-06 03:25 AM Link | Quote
Personally I don't believe the computer has a gender. Instead, it has little gnomes of both genders living within it, awaiting for the right momments in which to cause your computer to break down. Elara knows this all to well from my last computer.










Since: 12-31-69

Since last post: 20051 days
Last activity: 20051 days
Posted on 09-01-06 10:31 AM Link | Quote
I decided a while ago that my computer is a dickgirl, and nobody can tell me otherwise.
All the features of a female computer, and the penis of a male computer.

so yeah, i do believe that all computers have a gender, the gender though depends on the computer in question.

and I'm not reall sure, my computer might actually just be female.
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 94 days
Last activity: 91 days
Posted on 09-05-06 06:29 AM Link | Quote
I think that its up to the owner's interpretation. To me, its just neutral. It can really be anything, as venomouslobster had so elequently described his (I got a kick outta that one!).

Plus, its different depending on what computer you own. For example, a Windows computer with a plain white case is neutral, a suped-up power PC with a $200 case would most likely be a male, and a pink I-Mac with butterfly stickers all over it would most likely be a female.

Of course, you could always just think about it as a place, like what WhiteRose had said, what with the gnomes living inside.

But the most important thing of all is that this thread was for a joke, not for an actual discussion -- mostly for a quick read and laugh. But that also is up for interpretation, because this IS the Asylum after all. But what do I care in the first place.

Basically ignore that last part, and for the computers' genders: make of it what you will.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 935 days
Last activity: 935 days
Posted on 09-06-06 01:45 AM Link | Quote
But, it is dependent on the owner. I mean, my work computer has no gender because I don't identify with it as mine. It's just a tool I use at work, a genderless object occupying my (shared) desk.

My laptops vary from male to female depending on how bitchy their operation is. Most of the laptops are female though, the Toughbook is the only male, I think.

Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 635 days
Last activity: 444 days
Posted on 09-08-06 07:59 PM Link | Quote
My computer is a mule; therefore, it doesn't matter what gender my computer is, it's not having any little versions of itself running around, pissing people off with its slow connection or processing skills.
DSMagnum

Woodsman








Since: 11-06-05

Since last post: 6174 days
Last activity: 6118 days
Posted on 09-09-06 02:07 AM Link | Quote
My computer doesn't have a gender, only a race.
venomouslobster

Scarfy








Since: 05-03-05
From: california (knows how to party)

Since last post: 6329 days
Last activity: 5578 days
Posted on 09-09-06 03:09 AM Link | Quote
my computer also has gnomes, and in the darkness of night they climb to the highest dvd drive and hurl their enimies off the edge of the Jade Monkey, and sing for the appeasment of the blood gods...silly gnomes
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 101 days
Last activity: 101 days
Posted on 09-09-06 05:31 PM Link | Quote
YOu know it's kind of sad you already heard this on a radio show. A "republican" radioshow to boot. But Johnboy and Billy are awesome anyway.
venomouslobster

Scarfy








Since: 05-03-05
From: california (knows how to party)

Since last post: 6329 days
Last activity: 5578 days
Posted on 09-09-06 05:56 PM Link | Quote
*blinks at kite fly*


.....come again? i am sorry but i dont get the reference...
Katana

Dark Wizard
\"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"








Since: 08-15-04
From: Philadelphia, P.A.

Since last post: 1556 days
Last activity: 1374 days
Posted on 09-13-06 08:46 PM Link | Quote
My computer is a bastard. That's the word I seem to call it the most. Otherwise...never really thought about assigning a gender to my computer. O_o But...funny stuff there FX
Déesse

Sailor Déesse
Mistress of Pink
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy








Since: 08-14-04
From: The Moon

Since last post: 6566 days
Last activity: 6298 days
Posted on 09-14-06 06:47 AM Link | Quote
Some people have way too much time on there hands

It's a machine, whenever it mucks up I yell and scream at it, doesn't help the situation, but it calms me down. But if I had to give an answer, going by the things FX listed, I would defiantly say it’s a male
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