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04-24-24 07:18 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Competition Entry: Resist | |
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Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5675 days
Last activity: 4941 days
Posted on 08-10-06 12:30 AM Link | Quote
EDIT: Story Deleted


(Last edited by Makura on 07-12-08 11:51 PM)
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 4879 days
Last activity: 4396 days
Posted on 08-10-06 03:01 AM Link | Quote
Very nice. I like. Good use of imagery, good use of control and submission.

Very good, baby.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3618 days
Last activity: 3514 days
Posted on 08-10-06 05:13 AM Link | Quote
That was very good. I really liked the ending. Of course, if he lived there (which the ending pretty much implies) isn't it kinda lying to the reader when you say that he had only been there once?
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 100 days
Last activity: 100 days
Posted on 08-17-06 05:44 PM Link | Quote
Judges results, each area out of 10 points:

Originally posted by venomouslobster
Grammar: 8
Spelling: 9
Plot: 10
Character: 9
Description: 10
Overall Creativity: 10

This was a beautiful story. It was descriptive, without being overly loquacious. The content of the story was interesting to me, it had a good rising action, falling action, and end. The climax was distinct. Overall, I feel that this was the most well "constructed" story that has been turned in.


Originally posted by Elara
Grammar: 8
Spelling: 9
Plot: 9
Character: 9
Description: 10
Overall Creativity: 10

This was a very interesting story to read. It had an excellent flow, the character was very well written and not flat at all. A truly excellent job!


Zabuza could not get around to reading this story, so no results from him.
GuardianOni

Shaman








Since: 09-07-04
From: The dark path

Since last post: 5629 days
Last activity: 5088 days
Posted on 08-17-06 07:45 PM Link | Quote
Congratulations Makura. *Shakes hand, and gives a hug*
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 4879 days
Last activity: 4396 days
Posted on 08-18-06 02:56 AM Link | Quote
FX, the ending of the story does not imply that he lives there. Simply he stayed
the night and took a shower in the morning before she woke up. Since it was
stated that he'd never been in the house before that clarify's that he doesn't
live there.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5675 days
Last activity: 4941 days
Posted on 08-18-06 05:20 PM Link | Quote
Surprising. Thanks for all the comments.

FX, the story never implies that he lives there, that's the idea of it.
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