Originally posted by

---

HAWAII VOLCANOES NATIONAL PARK, HAWAII – Adrian Greene died Saturday, May 21st, just one day after seeing Episode III of the Star Wars saga, Revenge of the Sith. He was only nine years old. The movie, which opened Thursday, May 19th, breaking box office records and raking in at least $50 million in its first day, tells the story of how Anakin Skywalker falls into lava during a climactic duel with Obi-Wan Kenobi. Burned and missing his arms and legs, Anakin is given robotic limbs and the classic Darth Vader outfit—essentially a walking life-support system.

James Greene sobbed, clutching his wife, Kathryn, as they spoke briefly with reporters. “He was such a good boy. He—he really loved the movie. All of them. Even The Phantom Menace.”

The Greene family was in Hawaii on vacation. Back home in Iowa, the boy’s bedroom is still decorated with Darth Vader posters and action figures. According to his mom, Adrian loved all things Star Wars, but was drawn to the villainous Sith Lord most of all. But sadly for Adrian, Darth Vader’s survival and mechanical transformation are more science fiction than fact. Real lava burns at more than 2,100°F (1,140°C); even the air near lava flows is often in excess of 120°F (49°C). Touching it is ill-advised.

According to investigators, the Greene family was hiking in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, on the Big Island of Hawaii. Along with other tourists, they made their way to the remote area where lava from Mount Kilauea is currently visible, about three miles from the nearest ranger station. The Greene family trekked across the rocky landscape, and were taking pictures when Adrian suddenly turned and told his parents he wanted to be “just like Darth Vader.”

After flashing a smile, the boy darted across the steaming black rocks and leapt into a glowing, oozing stream of lava. Adrian screamed just once as he burst into flames, then vanished in a plume of smoke. His parents ran after him but found no sign of the boy. Tourists nearby helped them search, and finally accompanied them back to the ranger station to report the incident.

Ranger Steve Wilson said it wasn’t the first death at the park. “In 1993, one tourist died when a section of rock collapsed. Another guy has been missing since May 1998, when he disappeared in a flume cloud. Yeah, it’s dangerous out here. But this thing with the kid is pretty weird, that’s for sure.”

Hawaii Volcanoes National Park was established in 1916 and covers a sprawling 333,000 acres ranging from sea level to the summit of earth’s most massive volcano, Mauna Loa, at 13,677 feet. Kilauea, the world’s most active volcano, has been erupting since 1983. Surface flows are common, although most of the lava travels through lava tubes until it reaches the ocean.

Revenge of the Sith director George Lucas had no comment. The parents of Adrian Greene said that no, it wasn't too early to speculate on whether or not they might file a criminal lawsuit against the billionaire Star Wars creator.

---

Originally posted by Vulkar

---

Anyway, they couldn't legally sue George Lucas, as that child wasn't even supposed to be allowed in to see it anyway. In fact, George Lucas said in several interviews not to let children see it.

---

Originally posted by

---

After flashing a smile, the boy darted across the steaming black rocks and leapt into a glowing, oozing stream of lava. Adrian screamed just once as he burst into flames, then vanished in a plume of smoke. His parents ran after him but found no sign of the boy. Tourists nearby helped them search, and finally accompanied them back to the ranger station to report the incident.

---

Originally posted by Cairoi

---

WHAT THE HELL?! If they file a criminal lawsuit, they deserve to be slapped.

---

Originally posted by HoboConductor

---

What I don't understand is why would people bother looking for the kid. He blew up in flames.

---

Originally posted by Retarded Article

---

After flashing a smile, the boy darted across the steaming black rocks and leapt into a glowing, oozing stream of lava. Adrian screamed just once as he burst into flames, then vanished in a plume of smoke.

---

Originally posted by Zabuza

---

I'd check your facts before posting something like this.

---

Originally posted by The Politician

---

Originally posted by Zabuza

---

I'd check your facts before posting something like this.

---

Hm...it's possible that Hobo did happen to know it was fake. Which is the sole reason why he posted the article. To see who would believe it, or something. Just going out on a limb here.

Who knows.

---