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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - When to be married...? |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....          Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6111 days Last activity: 6051 days |
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| Well. For those of you who DON'T know (I can't immagine anyone not knowing by now) I've been engaged for about a year now. Pregnant for about 7 months. Sice almost the very beginning of our relationship, my fiance (Ryan) has known that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
I want to spend the rest of my life with him too, and we both really want to get married.... But... I'm the type of girl that really REALLY wants a very nice, impressive wedding. I want to design my own dress, I want lots of flowers and all that jazz, I want it outdoors, next to a river... And my fiance says he wants what I want (lol, not that I'd listen ayway  Just messsin').
But we both want to get married soon. I'm torn. I want to be married soon, but I want to have my son, lose all my pregnancy weight, and have enough money to spend on the wedding. So as you can immagine, I wasn't expecting my wedding until about 2008. But lately, my fiance and I have felt this pull to be together. We know our love is strong enough to last without those silly papers declaring it legal... but.... it seems that with my pregnancy advancing, we both have the stronger urge to be together (legally and otherwise) and start our family, get a house, all that good stuff. Please don't be rude here, as I know some of you are notorious of being. I know some of you don't belive in sex before marriage, but that's not what I'm asking. I would honestly appreciate your opinion on this. I can wait. So can he. But... I want to call him my husband.... he wants to call me his wife... and that want is getting stronger. Help? |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| I say just have a simple ceremony for now and make it official. If you really love each other it shouldn't matter if it is big and fancy or not. If you really want that fantasy wedding, you can always do that whole second marriage/renewing your vows thing later on when you have the money and time for it, like for an anniversary or something.
If you're feeling that pull, then follow it. |
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High Flyin' Ryan Shyguy Since: 04-26-05 From: Ry-Cave Since last post: 6652 days Last activity: 6459 days |
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It has always been my opinion that the woman should set the wedding the way she wants it to be. Congradulations on having a child! Hmm, it seems to me if you are in a hurry to get married you just have a judge marry you, and then when the time is right finacially you should re-new your vowels in a nice big wedding. However remember that just because your not married does not mean you can not be happy and not enjoy life together. Good luck in your decision, and once again congradulations on your child  . |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"  Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1557 days Last activity: 1374 days |
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**raises her hand** I agree with Elara and High Flyin' Ryan. Just because if you go that way, you get both, don't you? Either way, I encourage you two to make any decision that will make you, Ryan, and Christopher happy and what's best for you guys.  |
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Jin Posting Pig Not Dead  Since: 01-12-05 From: Nowhere Since last post: 2683 days Last activity: 2543 days |
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| I've never been one to want a big wedding anyways but given your situation I agree with Elara. | |||
Cyro Xero Rune Mage  Rave Atom  Since: 02-23-05 From: Minnesota!! Since last post: 52 days Last activity: 52 days |
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| I sounds to me like there is a financial issue here. Of course I could be wrong. But assume that it is the case...
You want a big wedding, something that'll cost a lot of money. You easily save up for it and over time have enough to make the wedding and fancy as you want. However, you also have a child on the way. Very soon it seems. It's probably the only thing stopping you from that special wedding because a lot of your finances may have to go toward the baby once it is born. Inevitably draining the wedding savings. I'm no psychic, but I think this will happen first. As you probably know, marriage isn't about how big a wedding is. That's not to say you should go to Vegas and get one of those stupid, cheap weddings, but it should be something special. I know that most women now days want theirs to be grand, with every detail just perfect and the way they want it, but it doesn't always happen that way. Nor does it need to. Especially if there is something that is setting you back. You have to settle for what you can get. If you can manage to pull a big one off, then Kudos to you. You deserve it. But remember that weddings are about love, and not the size of the ceremony |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6111 days Last activity: 6051 days |
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| Oh, trust me, I don't want a big ceremony. LoL. Just close family and friends. Maybe some people online like Elara and Katie that can make it, if they can.
I just want my own dress, and a nice outdoorsy wedding. Hmm... I asked my mum about it a while ago, and she said the whole getting married through city hall or whatever, then having a ceremony after is really tacky because it's something that should only happen one time, if that makes any sense? |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 636 days Last activity: 445 days |
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| I'm the anti-wedding person, really. I don't see the purpose of them.
If you love this other person and are willing spend the rest of your lives together, why do you need some ridiculously over-blown, over-priced gala for yourself? In the end what do you get, a dip in the pocket book and hideous bride's maids dresses that end up at the end of the dresses rack at the local thrift store. To quote the most beloved bride movie quote out there in the whiniest voice possible, "This is my special day!" *shrugs* I'm not anti-marriage per se, but I believe in investing in a marriage than a wedding. Ryan loves you and of course he wants to see you happy, but, sweetie, you have a baby on the way and a promising future together. Best of luck from the senile, old nag of 20. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| Well, if you can make the dress you want for cheaper than you would be able to buy one then that is just great. The main thing is guest list size, food, and location. If you can get parentals (yours or his) to help with the expenses of the wedding then it might make it easier on you.
Note: I want to come to the wedding, so plan it when I can make it (that means either winter break or summer break). I shall start saving up now for plane ticket I guess... just will need to work on lodgings. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6111 days Last activity: 6051 days |
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My uncle said he's help us out... but I'd rather recieve a trip to Europe from him as a wedding present than a wedding itsef. He really likes Ryan, and knows I've got quite a catch, so I think if he gets me married faster I won't screw it up or something. 
I know... I've always had the same kind of idea about weddings, Rogue... but... I love this man with all my heart and I want to show it. I'm not going to be one of those bitchy brides that has to have EVERY. THING. PERFECT, but I do want it to be a lovely and beautiful celebration of our love, if that makes any sense?  |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6286 days Last activity: 6257 days |
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| Be sure to let me know when you plan on having your wedding. I may be able to work out a leave time for it and get me and kate out there.
Slim chance of me getting leave, but we can still hope. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6111 days Last activity: 6051 days |
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If not, Kate's going anyway, so there. Someone's gotta be a bridesmaid. (I dun have any chick friends that can besides online, lol). Just messin. She doesn't hafta...  *sniff*
I have no idea when it'll be, but sometime in the summer, methinks... |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| I already told my mom about it and she is cool with me going. Now I just need to figure out where the hell I'll be staying and (if he's invited) how to sneak Jayarre along. | |||
Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5093 days Last activity: 4610 days |
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| whichever you and Ryan feel the happiest with is the only way to go about
it really as far as I understand. I'm of the same frame of mind as Rogue. A marriage ceremony isn't all that important in my mind as long as legally the couple is married and they're happy together. The big overblown wedding with all the brides maid's and the best man and the long guest list and the reception. Fun, yeah. But otherwise not needed for the couple to be married. Best of luck to you both. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5889 days Last activity: 5154 days |
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| Sorry, I was strapped for time and only got to breifly browse through what everyone else said. At any rate here is my advice.
You could get married, legally that is at a court house. It's inexpensive and it may fulfill your longing to be married. Then let's say five years down the road yo ucan have a vowel renual and that can be your actual 'wedding.' People are doing this a lot lately for the same reasons, my cousin did it. |
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The Magical Being Merchant  Since: 11-02-05 From: Wisconsin Since last post: 6909 days Last activity: 6895 days |
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| Your saying you want this marriage as soon as your piggy bank is ready to bust , but your willing to put it off for a trip to Europe after the ceremony ? Let your Uncle finance this beautiful wedding . Europe can wait . Besides, your pregnant and soon after you'll be caring for a newborn . So enjoying Europe shortly after the wedding is out of the question . You should really wait on Europe and build your family first . Europe will still be there when your new family is ready to savor it . As far as making an inexpensive wedding work ... that's easy . I was maid of honor in my cousins wedding and we hand made everything from the table toppers to the candle holders . All you need is a good arts and crafts store like Michaels . You making your own wedding gown alone will save you thousands . You can find gorgeous fabric for a cheap price . All it takes is good bargain hunting and friends that are willing to help . Having an outdoor wedding means you don't have to rent space . Once again , you save money . You can make this work ! Just come up with the colors and start bargain hunting in your free time . It's actually alot of fun to because it will bring everyone together . Just put some drink's on ice for your friends and family and build this ceremony from scratch . You'll enjoy yourselves . Have fun ! Congrats . |
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