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| Xeogaming Forums - Debate Shrine - BDSM |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets         Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| OK. Here's a debate. What are all of your questions, issues, concerns, misconceptions or whatnot about the subculture/Lifestyle of BDSM.
If anyone doesn't know what that is I will explain. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5886 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| I already know about this, but I figured I'd ask for other people's benefit.
What specifically is different about it? What makes it different from normal sex? |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| BDSM is a combination of three abbreviations.
B & D- Bondage and Dominance. D & S- Dominance and Submission S & M- SadoMasochism which is a combination of two words. Sadist or Sadism, and Masochist or Masochism. BDSM is a sub culture and lifestyle that comprises all of these. If you tie up someone you're having sex with, or even if you hold their hands down that's a form of bondage. Dominance and Submission is any game played where one partner is in charge, orders the other what to do and the other complies within the limits they set. A dominant and submissive relationship can seem to an outsider like an abusive relationship especially when the submissive is tied up, gagged and whipped by the dominant but it is not abusive most of the time. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Are there different levels within the culture, like kinda "how into it are you?" kinda thing? *hopes that was understandable* | |||
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| yeah there are. There are different levels of intensity, so to speak, depending on what you do and how severely you do it. Take Dominant and Sumbissive for an example. A really light version would be every once in a while a couple decides before a date that one or the other is the dominant and the other would be submissive.
So the dominant has power over the sub, only limited by what the sub allows the dom to have. If the sub says that they don't want the dom doing a certain thing like spanking or demanding oral or whatever than any respectable dom will honor those limits and those things are not allowed but anythign else is including the dom saying the sub is not allowed to talk to ANYONE at all for the entire evening except the sub. But there are more severe relationship all the way up to a master slave relationship where usually the couple is married but not always and the Slave literally give's up ALL control to his or her Master. Meaning the Master can tell her where she's allowed to work, who she can talk to who she can't talk to or even how to spend her money or if she get's to spend it at all. That is the most severe D/s relationship. Within Sadomasochism there are different levels depending on the preferences of the couple in the relationship. One of the most interesting things in BDSM is that there are almost literally and endless combination of things you can do with your significant other from role play to knife play to sensation play, humiliation play, bondage, age play, pain... whatever piques your interest. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| Okay, this is going to seem like a spammy post because of it's shortness, but I have to ask this...
age play? Mrow? |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Age play is a specific type of role play scenario. The dominant is Mommy or Daddy and the submissive is a misbehaving child that needs to be spanked or something. It basically ammounts to one person takes on the role of a much older or supposedly more mature or responsible individual who then takes advantage of the young and naive child.
The scenario could be Doctor/Patient, Priest/Young child, Teacher/Student whatever. The thing that first caught my interest about BDSM is that there is a massive amount of psychology involved in almost every practice. There's psychology involving fear, humiliation, pain, trust and love. People are broken and reformed at the Dominants will and they enjoy it. Some other things I forgot are electro shock, Branding, flogging, tattooing or scarring as well. If anyone has any questions about any of the practices mentioned feel free to ask questions I'll answer whatever I can and if anyone else has any expertise to lend by all means do so. (Last edited by Pockets on 09-10-05 05:57 PM) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| I see nothing wrong with it. In truth, I somewhat condone it.
At least so long as you are safe about it. I mean, if you're going to shove rusty nails up your partner's ass that's a bit excessive. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5886 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| So these people actually hurt eachother? Is that healthy? | |||
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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Originally posted by Makura Well you know, spanking, whipping (playful), flogging never hurt anybody. |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Rogue is right. Flogging (or whipping,) if done correctly can actually push a person into a state a lot like being high. It's basically an endorphin overload kinda thing that causes extreme pleasure and a near out of body experience kinda thing.
Some people like a little bit of pain. I don't mean cutting off a finger or something but a medium pinch or a slight sting or something is for some a real turn on. Rogue also brings up a good point. Anyone considering any of these practices needs to first keep several things in mind. There is the potential for physical, emotional, and psychological pain in any type of BDSM practice so a great deal of care and preparation is key to keeping down injures. In the case of Bondage, no matter how simple a bondage is that's being used there is still the potential for injury. A knot cuts off circulation or presses on a nerve. A sub starts to freak out and the dom doesn't properly extract them from the bondage and they're injured. Research. Talk to people. Ask questions and make sure you know what you're doing before engaging in any BDSM activity to reduce the risk of injury or emotional or psychological damage. |
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geeogree Ninji Since: 10-19-04 Since last post: 5174 days Last activity: 267 days |
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| I'm of the opinion that it is okay.... but definitely in moderation.
only as far as the people involved are comfortable and willing Rogue: the people aren't really hurting each other.... we aren't talking a baseball shot to the head or something.... |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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Originally posted by geeogree Well you know, I know people won't be doing that... though there are some sadistic people out there. If you've been to a sex shop lately, they have clamps and needles and objects that when sticking the penis into will puncture it from multiple angles. It's like if you're going that far, you almost never know what else people will get a high out of. But yeah, the whole baseball bat to that head is unlikely among other things. |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Electro Shock is very popular though some people don't get the idea of voltage or wattage and people have died do to improper use of equipment.
A TENS Unit is a good investment though if one is inclined. If used correctly it's a very fun activity. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 99 days Last activity: 99 days |
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| What is a TENS unit, if I may be so bold as to ask? | |||
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| "TENS units (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation units) are used by chiropractors to stimulate the nerves. TENS units pass current through the body so don't use them above the waist! Two or more wires extend from these little battery operated boxes. The wires have electrodes with adhesive that sticks to the skin above the muscle(s) you wish to stimulate. A small current passes through the skin causing muscle contractions."
That is quoted directly from Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns. There are also other devices like the Violet Wand with six different attachments and so on and so forth.  |
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WhiteRose Warrior Sailor Delerium Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.  Since: 08-17-04 From: The Dreaming Since last post: 4451 days Last activity: 5155 days |
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| Sensation play. That one sounds interesting. Can you please expand on that a little more? What is it exactly? Are there different types or levels of it? | |||
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Sensation Play is exactly what it sounds like. Exposing a body to different sensations.
Typically the Sub is tied up and blindfolded though not neccessarily. But take the example of a female sub bound on her back spread eagled, naked and blindfolded. The dominant then uses different items to cause different sensations. Sensual music filling the subs ears. A soft piece of cloth or fur dragged over the skin. Ice, hot wax, a whip, sand paper (rubbed very carefully of course) a rose. With a rose you can use the scent to entice the sub, rub the petals over her body or gently drag the thorns over the skin as well. You can use a knife, carefully and dull is a good idea though if you put a butter knife in the freezer and then once it's good and cold drag the edge across a blindfolded persons body it'll FEEL a lot sharper than it really is. Sight can be used as well. For example the sub is NOT blindfolded. The Dom then holds a pocket knife up so the sub can see it and then drags it very close to the sub's body. Maybe poking gently or laying the flat against the skin as the anticipation builds. That's going more into psychology though. Sensation play involves that as many of the senses as possible are stimulated. Touch, smell, hearing and taste are the easiest. A Dom can eat a piece of chocolate and then push that into the sub's mouth with a kiss. The limitations to sensation play are only defined by your creativity and imagination. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....  Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6108 days Last activity: 6048 days |
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| Ok, so I'm not really clear on the whole BSDM thing. BSDM is all of those things combined?
Anyway, I'm kinda confused, but I'm really into that stuff. Unfortunatly, my partner/fiance isn't really into pain or any of the dominance stuffs.  He's more about lovemaking.
Uuuummm.... as to the actual debate part of it:It's just a style of sex that couples enjoy, and I don't think it really could count as abuse if the submissive person likes the pain.  I would. Just not too much. :/ |
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Pockets Werewolf pockets Since: 10-20-04 Since last post: 5090 days Last activity: 4607 days |
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| Evo BDSM is not always about pain. It's also about bondage, role playing, control, trust and love. I had this conversation with a good friend of mine a few days back. His fiance had approached me and asked that i talk to him about bondage in particular.
One thing he brought up about his reluctance was he's more about making love. Let me ask you a question Evo that you can ask your fiance. Making love is makin love. But if you two just have sex or fuck each other silly as opposed to making love does that mean that you don't love each other? Just having sex or fucking or playing a game isn't a bad thing, it doesn't mean he loves you any less if he ties you up and torments you for an hour with a feather, some rose petals and a piece of fur. Any type of BDSM practice is one that you should only even CONSIDER doing with someone that you do love and trust explicitly. Especially in the case of bondage because that makes the submissive completely helpless, tied up and vulnerable so they're literally putting their own life in their partners hands. I can't think of much that's more romantic than placing that kind of trust in another person. Now there can be a little pain, there can be humiliation if that's what turns someone on. But there is so much more to BDSM than pain and ropes and whips and leather. There's a lot more involved. I would recommend you try to get your hands on a copy of a book called "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns," written by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. If you're really that interested then before you try to talk your fiance into doing anything you need to research. It actually might be a very good bonding experience so to speak to read over the parts you're most interested in, in the book with your fiance. Best of luck to you. *huggles* (Last edited by Pockets on 09-15-05 06:55 PM) |
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