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11-21-24 07:17 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Freezing | |
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True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 99 days
Last activity: 99 days
Posted on 09-13-05 07:12 PM Link | Quote
Wow it's been awhile since I posted an improv poem just from thought on here. I might be rusty.



As I write this letter,
My hands freeze,
I can't feel this one pen in my hand,
But I know it's there,
And in my mind...
my mind...
It's cold,
It's freezing,
Only because I'm alone.
Dark, dark, dark,

Just as the pen dropped from my hands,
I warm them by blowing on them,
Nothing helps,
I still freeze,
I'm still cold.
I'm just cold.
Each part of my body begins to freeze over.

I put my hand on my face,
I can't feel it..
Just like a cadaver's hand,
It's cold,
Wrinkled,
And lifeless,
Just dark,
dark
dark
dark

O_o woah... I tried a rhythm thing out please comment, I was going to try something that would mess everyone up.
Evo

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....








Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 6109 days
Last activity: 6049 days
Posted on 09-14-05 12:16 AM Link | Quote
I like it. I like it cause it's different, and it doesn't make too much sense. LoL, I think things/poetry where I don't know exactly what's going on.
Broken Dreams

Thief








Since: 05-29-05
From: California

Since last post: 6625 days
Last activity: 6625 days
Posted on 09-15-05 06:54 AM Link | Quote
your poem doesn't rhythm , but poems don't have to rhythm to rhythm , poems are an express of feelings. I think its ok.


(Last edited by Broken Dreams on 09-15-05 09:54 AM)
Evo

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....








Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 6109 days
Last activity: 6049 days
Posted on 09-15-05 03:35 PM Link | Quote
Maybe it has rhythm the way she was saying it to herself. I am horrible at finding rhythm myself.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 99 days
Last activity: 99 days
Posted on 09-15-05 05:16 PM Link | Quote
yeah... it's spoken poetry to me. XD It does confuse me too now.
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