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| Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Untitled Poem. |
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Tifa Goomba          Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferndale, Michigan Since last post: 6184 days Last activity: 6116 days |
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| This is only being posted because T3h Katana made me...
If anyone doesn't mind, maybe ya'll can help me come up with a title.You don't know what its like being me Having to stand strong and tall for everyone being that shoulder for a saddened friend to cry on. Listening to everyones problems not having time to care for my own. Feeling fragile and weak feeling so small and uncared for. I am someone who has no one who cares enough to let me cry on their shoulder even when the tears are hard to bare To be the one that every one comes to to be the one who cares to be the one that they all know will always be there to listen and to give advice. I'm not someone you'd want to be. Oh no, not me even with what you know now its still not easy being me. |
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Rauni Since: 08-14-04 Since last post: 1548 days Last activity: 1548 days |
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| You got the wrong thread... It belong to the story realm...
But Tifa, I remember you saying that you won a award for using this poem because your cousin / sister sent it... what's kind of reward was it through? And yes, I did like it too. So lonely and so cold. |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"  Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1557 days Last activity: 1375 days |
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| Thank you Beo...
Anywho....you posted it!!! Woot!!! **goes off to read it** Wow...I can see why you got the award  The thing I like about it is that you're so happy-go-lucky when you and I talk...yet here its like you're a completely different person. That's talent, it really is. To be able to convey such strong emotions like that, even when they contrast other emotions.
As for a title....**Gah...is really bad at this...** Well, it sounds like in the beginning, you're conveying one aspect of yourself...and then revealing a darker and deeper part of you as the reader reads on...so..."The True Me" or something like "Sholder and Solitude" **as I've mentioned before, I'm REALLY bad at titles...** The second one because...they're both "you" in this poem. You're that shoulder for everyone else...yet you say that you have no shoulder to cry on...that lonlieness and all. **nods** **slap shots to Story Realm** (Last edited by Katana on 05-02-05 07:21 PM) |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| Maybe the poem should be called "Strength in Gentleness" or "My Strengths" because it really is a sweet poem. It reaches deep down and takes out the feelings that you really wanna feel. Even if you have never felt them you feel the feelings that comes from the poem. | |||
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Rauni Since: 08-14-04 Since last post: 1548 days Last activity: 1548 days |
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| Umm... it sound more like "The Tear of Lost Life" or "The Past 1000 Memories" because well... Think about it. It describe in loneliness and that person want to cry on someone, memories would be a great example or a lost life. Then I thought "The Tear" because you want to cry on someone...
Maybe it might be "The Tear of 1000 Memories." |
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Cairoi This isn't about you and your loud mouth, This is about me and my fucking beard. Since: 08-29-04 From: PA Since last post: 4851 days Last activity: 4475 days |
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| I really like it and I can compare to what you are saying here.
In my opinion, I say it should be called either "Identity" or "Trials of the Heart".  I'm a poet, myself, but I'll NEVER post my poems here. No sir e bob. Maybe sometime. I don't know. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 102 days Last activity: 102 days |
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| How about "Being Me"?
I think, from the creative writing perspective, that it would be a very fitting title. As for the poem itself, I really liked it. Perhaps you could find a way to break it up into two stanzas, or maybe three, but other than that I really do think that you capture the emotion very well. You can get some visuals of people talking, comforting, etc, yet that inner feeling of lonliness. Very good, Tifa. |
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