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| Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Light |
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DarkKnight         Since: 12-09-04 From: Petaluma,CA Since last post: 6683 days Last activity: 6679 days |
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| I see all of these poems on darkness and depression and the likes, and even thoug Im not much of a poet this will be DARKNIGHTS FIRST POEM! thank u
Heaven is not a temple Light is not just a word Dark is for evil I see the sunlight reflect off the ocean surface I know its hard to believe Heaven and Hell are friends I see only a tiny white spot Is this what is all of Light? I mean cmon this was an A on my hw assignment but this was like my first major poetry assignment. So out of 5 how did i do? Should I keep going with the poem or stop this entirely. I think its a bad job because it doesnt really give a purpose, and I think it sucks. Its just words mixed together in my opinon. So tell HONESTLY what you think. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 101 days Last activity: 101 days |
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| Very interesting poem, I give it at least a 3, maybe a 3.5 out of 5. You should definitely write more, I think that you have a bit of talent. The first line is really good, I have to say that. | |||
Déesse Sailor Déesse Mistress of Pink Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy  Since: 08-14-04 From: The Moon Since last post: 6566 days Last activity: 6298 days |
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Yeah it was an o.k poem, I mean it's good to see poems in here that arn't so dark  I would also like to see more of your poems, cause I think your quite good at them |
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DarkKnight Since: 12-09-04 From: Petaluma,CA Since last post: 6683 days Last activity: 6679 days |
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| Ok continueing on with my poem here it goes
Heaven is not a temple Light is not just a word Dark is for evil I see the sunlight reflect off the ocean surface I know its hard to believe Heaven and Hell are friends I see only a tiny white spot Is this what is all of Light? Hell is a place for demons A blind man cant see fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, is all I hear Toys are stepped on Lightning is the devils dance Thunder is Gods angry voice A little boy praying on his bed Is this what is all of Light? (Last edited by DarkKnight on 03-17-05 07:43 PM) |
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