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| Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Poncho Poncho Man |
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True Flight The One         Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| In the American army, there is a form of teaching called an RBI (Reinforcement [sic: Reply] By Indorsement [note: RBI is a baseball term for Runs Batted In, a measurement of how successful a batter is] in which the soldier is required to write a 1,000 word essay to describe his errors in judgment and so on. What happens, such as in this case, you get a written document which outlines what you’ve done wrong and you are required to “reply by indorsement” to that basic document telling what you did to correct the problem. You then write the “indorsement” which is appended to the basic document and forwarded up the chain of command to the person requiring the reply.
In this case, this is an RBI written by a gentleman who failed to bring all his proper equipment to a function. My Very long, One Thousand Word R.B.I. (Re-enforcement By Indorsement) On Why It Is Important To Bring My Equipment By Jason “Roadkill” Philipps It is extremely important that I bring my equipment every day because if I don't the Drill Sergeant makes me write a stupid R.B.I., which I must write, because if I don't the Army will kick me out, instantly ruining my life because I will be unable to get a job, and I will wind up living in a cardboard box because sometimes society can be a cruel, cruel entity. Therefore, I will always from now on bring my poncho to chow because as everyone knows, it often rains inside of the mess hall. I also do not like to live in a cardboard box. As a Delta Dog, I should have known better and brought my Poncho, But that darn common sense of mine keeps getting in the way, Dog gone it. Another reason the Poncho is useful in the Mess Hall is because of it’s camoflaging (sic: camouflaging) properties. For instance, if a Drill Sergeant catches me getting cake and ice cream and is about to throw a tantrum, I put on my Poncho and “Poof!” I am rendered virtually invisible. I blend in with my surroundings and disappear. Another important function of the Rain Poncho is that it can also be used as a portable, mini Greenhouse. Very useful for growing some stunning orchids, or perhaps maybe a Rhododendron. Normally, as civilians, we had to pay $19.95 for a mini Greenhouse, but we as soldiers get this valuable piece of plastic for free. And I foolishly didn’t bring it with me to the Mess Hall, Dog gone it. It is because of my own incompetence that I didn’t bring my invaluable, priceless Poncho . . . But wait a minute, why was I shipped here three weeks early? That’s right! Incompetence! Incompetence on the part of beaurocracy (sic: bureaucracy) because everyone knew that Echo Company would be closing a year ago! Dog Gone Incompetence! But I digress. I am getting off the subject here. I love my Poncho! We will never be apart again! I can’t think of Anything Else to write, so now I’ll just copy stuff out of my “Smart Book”. Poncho: The Poncho is made of coated nylon and is waterproof. (Duh. Really?) It can be used as a Rain Garment, Ground cloth, or Sleeping Bag. It can also be used to make a Shelter or Tent. (Figure 2-26). Two Ponchos can be snapped together to make a two Person shelter. If possible, Air Dry the Poncho before folding it up. It should be hand washed with warm, soapy water. Here are some uses for the Poncho that the Military Hasn’t thought of yet . . . kevorkian Parachute Camoflage (sic: Camouflage) Colostomy Bag Appropriate wear for those spur-of-the-moment Combat Toga Parties A Hot, uncomfortable Turban One size fits all Prophilactic (sic: Prophylactic) I know that this is completely off the subject of my Poncho, But it is intreguing (sic: intriguing) nonetheless. Sometimes I Just wonder, whatever happened to Chef Boyardee? I mean the Actual Chef Boyardee, the Guy who started the Beef N cheez Ravioli legacy. What was his first name, and is he Alive or Dead? If he’s Dead, how did he die? If he’s alive, where is he now? And does the thought of Eating Ravioli make him puke, or is he some sort of obsessed sicko? Eating it everyday, for every meal, for years and years? The answer is. . . I don’t know. I’m just a curious guy I guess. I wonder if He had a Poncho? Well, I’m almost to the end of this R.B.I. I’ll bet that you didn’t think that anyone could write this much stuff about a Poncho, huh? Well, I admit it was a challenge, but I did it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (Take that any way you want! Hoo-ah!) But seriously, this wasn’t a punishment, it was fun, I love creative writing! Especially in this Military Environment where every smidgen of creativity or humor is squashed out of existence. Drill Sergeant thank you for conditioning my mind and my writer’s cramp. Please feel free to do so at any time. I will now recover. WOW! That’s impressive! My lovely Poncho has more uses than the wheel! (Another excellent object!) I still can’t think of anything else to say, so I’ll just write anything that pops into my head. When the Drill Sergeant says “R.B.I.”, it kind of sounds like “Ribeye”. “Write me a Ribeye, Private!” Well, to make sure I didn’t misunderstand the Drill Sergeant, I will write a Ribeye here . . . MMM! Looks good, huh? Here’s a song I wrote about my Poncho. . . Poncho Man I say young man, are you getting all wet? I say young man, are you cold and upset? I say young man, do you want to be dry? Then, why, don’t, you, be, a . . . Doot, Doot, Doot, Doot, I’m talkin’ ‘bout a, Pon-cho, Pon-cho man, I wanna be, a Poncho man. (oh, yeah!) Pon-cho, Pon-cho man, I wanna be a Poncho . . . Man! Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O, P-O-N-C-H-O, It’s got everything you need to keep you dry, It will hide you from enemy eyes. Oh, P-O-N-C-H-O, P-O-N-C-H-O, You don’t have to be smart, to put the thing on, It’s only got one big hole. I’m talkin’ ‘bout a Pon-cho, Pon-cho man, I wanna be, a Poncho man. Pon-cho, Pon-cho man, I wanna be a Poncho . . . Man! Here’s a list of words that sort of rhyme with Poncho . . . Honcho Sancho Rauncho Launch-o Bunch-o Lunch-o Punch you Muncho Cruncho I can’t think of any more words that rhyme with Poncho. I know that Abraham Lincoln wore a Poncho, when it was raining. This is a documented fact. I think all the forefathers of our country wore Ponchos as well. Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words Extra Words |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| I really hope this guy did not get in trouble for this. It is awesome! I love the combination of YMCA and Macho Man for the song, that is just perfect. | |||
Yasu Posting Pig  Since: 10-12-06 Since last post: 4789 days Last activity: 4781 days |
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| If a guy in the AF did that he would get in so much trouble. | |||
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| I had to right out an RBI once... and my SGM did not like the subtle punches I put in there towards him. | |||
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Yasu Posting Pig Since: 10-12-06 Since last post: 4789 days Last activity: 4781 days |
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| XP lol nice one. |
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