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| Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - 10 Things I hate about Star Trek |
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FX Zombie Marco         Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3829 days Last activity: 3725 days |
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| ESPECIALLY number 5.
10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding doors. They're dead silent. If those doors went "wheet!" every time a person walked through them, about once a month some guy in accounting would snap and go on a shooting rampage. Sorry Scotty, the IEEE has revoked your membership until you learn to master WD-40 9. The Federation. This organization creeps me out. A planet-wide government that runs everything, and that has abolished money. A veritable planetary DMV. Oh sure, it looks like a cool place when you're rocketing around in a Federation Starship, but I wonder how the guy driving a Federation dump truck feels about it? And everyone has to wear those spandex uniforms. Here's an important fact: Most people, you don't want to see them in spandex. You'd pay good money to not have to see them. If money hadn't been abolished, that is. So you're screwed. 8. Reversing the Polarity. For cripes sake Giordi, stop reversing the polarity of everything! It might work once in a while, but usually it just screws things up. I have it on good authority that the technicians at Starbase 12 HATE that. Every time the Enterprise comes in for its 10,000 hour checkup, they've gotta go through the whole damned ship fixing stuff. "What happened to the toilet in Stateroom 3?" "Well, the plumbing backed up, and Giordi thought he could fix it by reversing the polarity." Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it. 7. Seatbelts. Yeah, I know this one is overdone, but you'd think that the first time an explosion caused the guy at the nav station to fly over the captain's head with a good 8 feet of clearance, someone would say, "You know, we might think of inventing some furutistic restraining device to prevent that from happening." So of course, they did make something like that for the second Enterprise (the first one blew up due to poor lubrication), but what was it? A hard plastic thing that's locked over your thighs. Oh, I'll bet THAT feels good in the corners. "Hey look! The leg-bars worked as advertised! There goes Kirk's torso!" 6. No fuses. Every time there's a power surge on the Enterprise the various stations and consoles explode in a shower of sparks and throw their seatbelt-less operators over Picard's head. If we could get Giordi to stop reversing the polarity for a minute, we could get him to go shopping at the nearest Starship parts store and pick up a few fuses. And while he's shopping, he could stop at an intergalactic IKEA and pick up a few chairs for the bridge personnel. If you're going to put me in front of a fuseless exploding console all day, the least you could do is let me sit down. 5. Rule by committee. Here's the difference between Star Trek and the best SF show on TV last year: Star Trek: Picard: "Arm photon torpedoes!" Riker: "Captain! Are you sure that's wise?" Troi: "Captain! I'm picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it appears that you're a 'fraidy cat." Wesley: "Captain, I'm just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say something." Worf: "Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon warrior chubby." Giordi: "Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them first." Picard: "I'm so confused. I'm going to go to my stateroom and look pensive." Firefly: Captain: "Let's shoot them." Crewman: "Are you sure that's wise?" Captain: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I'll BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who's in command." Crewman: "Aye Aye, sir!" 4. A Star Trek quiz: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and 'Ensign Gomez' beam down to a planet. Which one isn't coming back? 3. Technobabble. The other night, I couldn't get my car to start. I solved the problem by reversing the polarity of the car battery, and routing the power through my satellite dish. The resulting subspace plasma caused a rift in the space-time continuum, which created a quantum tunnelling effect that charged the protons in the engine core, thus starting my car. Child's play, really. As a happy side-effect, I also now get the Spice Channel for free. 2. The Holodeck. I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean. 1. The Prime Directive. How stupid is this? Remember when Marvin the Martian was going to blow up the Earth, because it obstructed his view of Venus? And how Bugs Bunny stopped him by stealing the Illudium Q36 Space Modulator? Well, in the Star Trek universe, Bugs would be doing time. Probably in a room filled with Roseanne lookalikes wearing spandex uniforms, walking through doors going WHEET! all day. It would be heck. At least until the Kaboom. The Earth-shattering Kaboom. (Last edited by Project 13 on 07-21-07 03:40 PM) |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| Heh, I posted this some time ago, but I was actually thinking about this list yesterday and wondering if I could find it again.
I just remember Zabuza (who is a HUGE Trekkie, seriously he wears a Star Fleet uniform when we go to conventions) completely despised the list and defended Star Trek through and through. Oh well. It's still pretty true in regards to the chain of command joke and the law of random red shirts and ensigns "not coming back." Oh, and the Holodeck. Totally. |
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avatar of law Beezo  Since: 12-29-04 From: paris, canada Since last post: 5767 days Last activity: 5767 days |
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| i dunno about #9...#7 & #10
1. its not spandex i dont think. it's regulation military pants that fits, with a type of gym shirt underneath the colored vest. and you really dont have to wear it. l can count at least 3 characters who are starfleet personals on the ship who do not wear it, but sometimes do (different series of course). 2. there's money. i've seen them use it tons of times. how would you deal w/ the ferangi? ;p as for 10, im sure your sliding doors are made out of glass. these doors are solid metal and other junk ;p #7, seatbelts would mean there are seats. there's like 2 or 3 chairs on the bridge lol. everyone else stands all day =/ |
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FX Zombie Marco Since: 03-24-06 Since last post: 3829 days Last activity: 3725 days |
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Originally posted by avatar of law Originally posted by Project 13 Already made that point... |
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Amudaus Octoballoon  Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6110 days Last activity: 6100 days |
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| Halrius! and true! | |||
Cyro Xero Rune Mage  Rave Atom  Since: 02-23-05 From: Minnesota!! Since last post: 49 days Last activity: 49 days |
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There are the so called "trekkies", and then we have the haters. Although in your case it just seems like you can't stand to watch the show only sometimes.  |
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator  Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 87 days Last activity: 76 days |
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| The Next Generation was cool, other than that I've never been a big fan.
Been more of a Jedi.  |
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Lord Vulkas Mormonus Vile High Xeodent of Xeomerica.  Since: 10-29-04 From: North Carolina, United States. World, Sol System, milky way Since last post: 94 days Last activity: 94 days |
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Originally posted by XeoLVII *performs Vulcan Nerve Pinch on Xeo* You've got nothing...NOTHING! And of course, Star Trek has time travel, so we win.  |
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Ryan Ptooie Is back!   Since: 10-01-04 From: Stafford, UK Since last post: 4643 days Last activity: 4603 days |
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| I never really got into Star Trek... I know my dad is kind of into it, but I've truied watching an episode or two with him and I just don't like it.
I prefer other Sci-fi stuff like Red Dwarf, Eureka, Stargate SG-1 (Although not Atlantis, that one sucks). Which reminds me, I've been meaning to watch some Stargate for a while... *Disappears to TV Links* |
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Dirk Ralthar Thief  Since: 07-18-06 From: Malthar Since last post: 6130 days Last activity: 6101 days |
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| I like number 5. Star Trek is ok, but as far as #4 goes, that only holds true if Gomez was wearing red... he is safe if wearing something else, so that question can't be answered on the basis of not enough information (only valid in the original, which if he is running around with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, its a good guess that is where he is).
I prefer Star Wars and Firefly to Star Trek though. |
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Spartan Metal battleaxe Is back. Kind of. Since: 11-15-04 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 77 days |
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Originally posted by XeoLVII Mir'osik Dar'jetii.... I despise Jedi...and if you didnt know what I said, In Mando'a I said Shit for Brains Dark Jedi... |
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