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11-29-22 07:05 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Hell as explained by a chemistry student | |
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Dirk Ralthar

Thief








Since: 07-18-06
From: Malthar

Since last post: 5407 days
Last activity: 5378 days
Posted on 09-08-06 09:53 PM Link | Quote
This is something I got in an email from someone that I do ren-faires with... I thought it was funny as hell... forgive the pun. Here it is... (too bad there is no fire or devil smiley)


Hell, as explained by a chemistry student


The following is a question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

*Bonus Question*: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you’, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God.”



(Last edited by Dirk Ralthar on 09-09-06 12:55 AM)
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 3106 days
Last activity: 3002 days
Posted on 09-08-06 11:33 PM Link | Quote
That was.....kinda boring, except for the 'I slept with her last night part' that was hilarious.


(Last edited by FX on 09-09-06 02:34 AM)
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 37 days
Last activity: 26 days
Posted on 09-09-06 12:17 AM Link | Quote
Heh, I remember reading this before on a joke website that also had a bunch of long-winded science jokes like the one about survival of the fittest and its relation to your brain cells.

That one goes that example were a herd of buffalo attacked by predators, they would take down the sickest and weakest of the herd, thus making the herd a stronger by average. This applies to consuming alcohol with your brain cells, it would take out the weakest nuerons, leaving your mind sharper.

Yeah, I'm lame. >P

You do faires, Dirk? We gotta talk more, sugar.
ShadowKnight

Beast








Since: 06-28-06

Since last post: 5496 days
Last activity: 5004 days
Posted on 09-09-06 10:43 PM Link | Quote
Wow. I laughed quite a bit when I read that. Nice explanation of hell you got there. So now I know that there's a divine being and that we're all going to heaven, too...
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 1116 days
Last activity: 237 days
Posted on 09-10-06 03:06 AM Link | Quote
I believe in the Hell as described from Dante's Inferno. Hell is already frozen over. He just proved what I believe right! In my belief, Hell was never hot, but was more of a place where evil souls are tortured for eternity (or until reincarnation) and they are punished according to their most potent sin, such as people who always look ahead have their heads turned backwards and are doomed to wander for all eternity.

Anyway, I thought the joke was pretty funny, but nothing I'll remember.
Spartan

Metal battleaxe
Is back. Kind of.








Since: 11-15-04

Since last post: 1605 days
Last activity: 846 days
Posted on 09-10-06 12:30 PM Link | Quote
I dont believe in a Hell nor a Heaven. I die. and get Reincarnated. simple as that.

and Dirk thats damn funny.

You should come by the high school some time. call me first maybe we can do lunch.
Tatrion

Merchant








Since: 08-12-06
From: Sphere Sector

Since last post: 5876 days
Last activity: 5861 days
Posted on 09-12-06 09:54 PM Link | Quote
Nerd jokes are the best.
It's even better though, since it merges high and low-brow entertainment together
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 4367 days
Last activity: 3883 days
Posted on 09-17-06 10:32 PM Link | Quote
This is by far one of the greatest things I have ever seen. It's intelligent, well written,
funny as hell and it actually makes perfect sense from a scientific standpoint if
you think about it.

I'm going to print this and take it to my philosophy teacher to see what she thinks about the whole thing.
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5381 days
Last activity: 5471 days
Posted on 09-18-06 12:48 AM Link | Quote
Doesn't the joke assume that souls have mass?
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 4367 days
Last activity: 3883 days
Posted on 09-18-06 01:04 AM Link | Quote
The thing that most of you aren't getting is that it's NOT a joke. It's an answer,
written by a college student on a college level chemistry mid term.

Now the answer was funny in some respects but it was also really well written.
I love the interpretation the writer used for the different aspects needed to calculate
the exothermic or endothermic properties of Hell.

My question though is what grade did the teacher give for that answer?
Dirk Ralthar

Thief








Since: 07-18-06
From: Malthar

Since last post: 5407 days
Last activity: 5378 days
Posted on 09-18-06 01:22 AM Link | Quote
Don't know... didn't say... I would assume an A... that is what I would give it. But you know what they say about assumptions... makes an ass out of you and me...
Xeios

You WANKER!








Since: 08-16-04

Since last post: 4350 days
Last activity: 660 days
Posted on 09-18-06 07:32 PM Link | Quote
That was Flawless Victory. END POST!!!!!

In reality, I do believe that it was a very good essay written perfectly. Even though it was a joke(or a real incident) I still admire the writer of this essay. for their perfection.
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