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04-25-24 11:17 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Learning To Breathe | |
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caxama

Archer








Since: 06-22-05
From: Petaluma, CA, you just gotta love that sunshine

Since last post: 6449 days
Last activity: 6062 days
Posted on 11-05-05 01:09 PM Link | Quote
Tight and Burning
The Hell Fires of Hades
Has asended into my lungs

Gasping
Clawing
The Darkness begins to win

Hope
All I need
I don't want to die

Why doesn't someone see me?
Has the darkness swallowed me yet?
Help Me...Please

Mind is swimming
Tierd, so very tierd
I can't fight it anymore

Dimly aware
Numb to the surroungings
An arm around my waist

I can't feel the dock beneathe me
I can't feel the life giving air that is forced into me
I can't...

Eyes open
A blurry face before me
Am I dead?
Is this Gabriel, come to claim me

A roiling, churning feeling from deep within me
A torrent of death epelled.
Air
The most beautiful element.

AlpoRaggins

Troubadour
Not so much dead.








Since: 12-11-04
From: Someday, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

Since last post: 6402 days
Last activity: 6291 days
Posted on 11-09-05 09:00 PM Link | Quote
Wow, I didn't see this one before. That was pretty sweet. It made me actually a bit anxious to see what would happen to the person in the poem. That was a pretty strong ending - I like the ones that go out in a bang. Good job!
Evo

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....








Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 5898 days
Last activity: 5838 days
Posted on 11-09-05 10:15 PM Link | Quote
Beautiful. I like the beginning, and I like the end the most. It pulls it all together.
Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 4638 days
Last activity: 4261 days
Posted on 11-10-05 04:39 PM Link | Quote
Wow, good. I honestly thought It was a baby being born. ^.^ THe end was well written indeed.
caxama

Archer








Since: 06-22-05
From: Petaluma, CA, you just gotta love that sunshine

Since last post: 6449 days
Last activity: 6062 days
Posted on 11-12-05 02:11 PM Link | Quote
As you all probably figured out she was drowning and was saved, kind of life immitating (yes sometimes I can't spell) art. But truth be told, this actually happened. And yes, when you're about thisclose to dying, there is a light. Don't laugh at me, it's true, and it's a terrifing but beautiful (I'm strange I know) experience.
AlpoRaggins

Troubadour
Not so much dead.








Since: 12-11-04
From: Someday, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

Since last post: 6402 days
Last activity: 6291 days
Posted on 11-12-05 07:28 PM Link | Quote
Oh, theres nothin' to laugh at about it - its a real thing, many people have witnessed this light but lived to tell about it. Read the book Life After Life if you're really interested to see what is before that and what is beyond. Its an interesting read, and I think it pertains to the happening that occured in the poem.
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