New link in the top of page "IRC Chat".
Register | Login
Views: 122537596
Main | Memberlist | Active users | Calendar | Last Posts | IRC Chat | Online users
Ranks | FAQ | XPW | Stats | Color Chart | Photo album
03-29-24 03:48 AM
0 users currently in Story Realm.
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Untitled Poem. | |
Next newer thread | Next older thread
User Post
Tifa

Goomba








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferndale, Michigan

Since last post: 5944 days
Last activity: 5875 days
Posted on 05-01-05 07:40 PM Link | Quote
This is only being posted because T3h Katana made me...

If anyone doesn't mind, maybe ya'll can help me come up with a title.You don't know what its like being me
Having to stand strong and tall for everyone
being that shoulder for a saddened friend to cry on.
Listening to everyones problems
not having time to care for my own.
Feeling fragile and weak
feeling so small and uncared for.
I am someone
who has no one who cares enough
to let me cry on their shoulder
even when the tears are hard to bare
To be the one that every one comes to
to be the one who cares
to be the one that they all know will always be there
to listen and to give advice.
I'm not someone you'd want to be.
Oh no, not me
even with what you know now
its still not easy being me.



Rauni









Since: 08-14-04

Since last post: 1307 days
Last activity: 1307 days
Posted on 05-02-05 01:47 PM Link | Quote
You got the wrong thread... It belong to the story realm...

But Tifa, I remember you saying that you won a award for using this poem because your cousin / sister sent it... what's kind of reward was it through?

And yes, I did like it too. So lonely and so cold.
Katana

Dark Wizard
\"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"








Since: 08-15-04
From: Philadelphia, P.A.

Since last post: 1317 days
Last activity: 1134 days
Posted on 05-02-05 04:20 PM Link | Quote
Thank you Beo...

Anywho....you posted it!!! Woot!!!

**goes off to read it**

Wow...I can see why you got the award The thing I like about it is that you're so happy-go-lucky when you and I talk...yet here its like you're a completely different person. That's talent, it really is. To be able to convey such strong emotions like that, even when they contrast other emotions.

As for a title....**Gah...is really bad at this...**

Well, it sounds like in the beginning, you're conveying one aspect of yourself...and then revealing a darker and deeper part of you as the reader reads on...so..."The True Me" or something like "Sholder and Solitude" **as I've mentioned before, I'm REALLY bad at titles...** The second one because...they're both "you" in this poem. You're that shoulder for everyone else...yet you say that you have no shoulder to cry on...that lonlieness and all. **nods**

**slap shots to Story Realm**


(Last edited by Katana on 05-02-05 07:21 PM)
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2664 days
Last activity: 2649 days
Posted on 05-04-05 07:07 AM Link | Quote
Maybe the poem should be called "Strength in Gentleness" or "My Strengths" because it really is a sweet poem. It reaches deep down and takes out the feelings that you really wanna feel. Even if you have never felt them you feel the feelings that comes from the poem.
Rauni









Since: 08-14-04

Since last post: 1307 days
Last activity: 1307 days
Posted on 05-04-05 12:23 PM Link | Quote
Umm... it sound more like "The Tear of Lost Life" or "The Past 1000 Memories" because well... Think about it. It describe in loneliness and that person want to cry on someone, memories would be a great example or a lost life. Then I thought "The Tear" because you want to cry on someone...

Maybe it might be "The Tear of 1000 Memories."
Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 4610 days
Last activity: 4234 days
Posted on 05-05-05 04:22 PM Link | Quote
I really like it and I can compare to what you are saying here.

In my opinion, I say it should be called either "Identity" or "Trials of the Heart".

I'm a poet, myself, but I'll NEVER post my poems here. No sir e bob. Maybe sometime. I don't know.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 05-06-05 10:30 PM Link | Quote
How about "Being Me"?

I think, from the creative writing perspective, that it would be a very fitting title.

As for the poem itself, I really liked it. Perhaps you could find a way to break it up into two stanzas, or maybe three, but other than that I really do think that you capture the emotion very well. You can get some visuals of people talking, comforting, etc, yet that inner feeling of lonliness. Very good, Tifa.
Next newer thread | Next older thread
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Untitled Poem. |



xeogaming.org

AcmlmBoard 1.92++ r4 Baseline
?2000-2013 Acmlm, Emuz, Blades, Xkeeper, DarkSlaya*, Lord Alexandor*
*Unofficial Updates
Page rendered in 0.206 seconds.
0.049