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03-28-24 07:22 PM
Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Stitch
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User Post
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-05-08 10:22 PM, in Marshmallow? Link
Potashroom?

How 'bout puppy-filled marshmallows or kitty-filled donuts?

MUSHROOM11!!one
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-06-08 02:21 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Nope, but I have fallen into a small tree, and I've watched my neighbor (the whore) ride his bike into a tree (blinder than a bat).

I miss the shooting range. Here's Rogue shooting off a .22 rifle:


And me, with a .45:


Anyway, question:
Red wine or white wine?


(Last edited by Stitch on 10-06-08 02:22 PM)
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-06-08 02:26 PM, in Marshmallow? Link
Ooh, that does sound nummy.

But, I'm gonna go with kitty-filled puppy instead. And you have to let the puppy chase his tail for a while to marinate the kitty. And then, I'd prefer it served with mashed potatoes and mushrooms on top.

POTTER!
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-06-08 02:33 PM, in Fucked Up Roommate From Hell Link
This isn't really a story, but it is writing and it is entertainment. In a community on LJ, a few people posted about their uniquely creepy roommate who believed that she was the reincarnation of one of the characters from Suikoden.

I will bring you the horror, in small installments of bite-size read-ness.

Note: This is not my story, this is not my roommate.


Insane Housemate, Part I

Jul. 15th, 2008 at 2:49 PM

I used to live in an awesome situation in SoCal…until the housemate from hell moved in. Fortunately she has left, but the bitterness remains on my tongue. It is a saga that can only be told in pieces. Please bear with me.

In the cut you will find part one of the saga involving the girl who believed she was a video game character.



Living Situation
Our house was owned by a guy named “Matt.” It had been in his family for generations and it was beautiful! It has four floors AND a carriage house. On the first floor are the two formal rooms, Matt’s bedroom, bath and his den, this HUGE kitchen, a powder room, a butler’s pantry, a wrap around porch and two “open” rooms that are for everyone’s use. On the next few floors are the housemate’s rooms and baths as well as two extra rooms. One is called “the game room” since it has a pool table and the other is called “the lodge” since it contains all of the mounted animals Matt’s grandfather hunted.

There are currently five housemates, plus Matt. We all have our own rooms and the run of the house. Matt is very particular about who he rents rooms to, which is a good thing. Some of the requirements are: professionals only (no students or kids working as waitresses while trying to make it big), no one under 25, no people with children and no pets other than Matt’s two dogs.

Matt also insists that all current housemates agree upon the person we rent to. And, for all of this, we only pay $500 a month, including utilities. In the house we currently have a lawyer, two engineers, a high school guidance counselor, a professional pet sitter and a manager of a retail store. (Matt is the counselor, I am the manager)

Anyway…all was fine until Roommate #6 left the house to get married. We were all sad to see her go and decided to wait a bit before replacing her. Since the house is paid for, all of the rent goes towards maintenance, taxes and general upkeep, so there wasn’t a rush.

After a few months went by, we started the search. We received over 500 inquires and had 153 people fill out our “online application” that the lawyer set up. We tossed out the students and those who clearly did not meet our requirements, dropping the number of potentials down to about 50.

We asked those 50 to send us their bosses’ phone number so we could verify their employment and contact information for their current landlord. Following that, the number of acceptables dropped down to 17.

Still not in a hurry, we phoned all 17 and interviewed them. Cutting the number to five, we paid to run background checks. Finally, we met them in person and then the housemates came to a consensus of our top three candidates.

And we made our decision to allow “Sarah” to live with us.
It was the biggest mistake ever.


Sarah
Sarah seemed to fit the bill. She was a programmer for a computer company (or so we were led to believe). She was 27 years old. She had a boyfriend but he lived in another part of the state. She was well spoken, seemed nice and quiet. She appeared to be the perfect fit for our house.

WRONG.

Everything about Sarah was a lie; even her name. When she had us run the background check, she gave us two names. Apparently she had legally changed it at some point. Ok, no problem. Matt did not pry as to WHY she changed her name, and the rest of us thought it was none of our business. Still, both names came up clean.

But there were more lies…many many more…


Sarah Moves In
On the day she moved in, she arrived in cab with luggage. It didn’t seem odd, but she still had baggage tags on the luggage. She explained she had flown back east to visit her parents between the move out of her old place and move in here. Ok. Understandable.

A few days later, her stuff arrived. She had hired a major moving company to haul it for her. That went fine. She said she was taking a few days off from work to unpack. We thought nothing of this.

Until the following week when she “went to work” only to come home in tears saying she had been laid off. We felt for her and Matt told her not to worry since she had paid three months in advance. Everyone in the house offered to pass her resume around work, but she didn’t seem very thankful.

She decided that she was going to apply to various game and computer companies in the area. One of the engineers who lives with us works for one and offered to help her get her foot in the door. He asked for her resume to pass around. She flubbed around saying it was on her computer and she hadn’t unpacked it yet, but she would get it to him in the next few days.

The next few days she started to show her oddness. She complained that there was meat in the fridge and that she was a vegetarian. Matt told her she could keep her food in the carriage house fridge if she was concerned about that, but that most people here ate meat and that she would have to get over it. She whined and moped like a two year old. Matt, being the one to make peace, cleaned out his college fridge that he kept in his private den for his wine and offered it to her. Sarah scoffed at the thought that her food would fit in such a fridge, but accepted it and put it in the butler’s pantry.

A week passed and she still didn’t have a resume. Matt asked her if she needed help writing one. She said no, she had one, but she was going to visit her boyfriend that weekend so she didn’t have time to think about a job.

Odd, that one who is unemployed would buy a plane ticket and fly north for a few days, right? Right.

She left and we decided that when she returned we would give her a “welcome” meal. We made a whole bunch of food—lots of it vegetarian—and when she showed up she just shook her head at the fact that we had also made meat. Matt assured her the meat and veggies had been cooked separately. She said, “It doesn’t matter. You are prolonging your existence on this Earth at the expense of another.”

The others and I were quite horrified at her rudeness, but we kept it ourselves.


Sarah and Videogames
In the three weeks that followed, Sarah was still unemployed. She spent all her time playing video games in the family room. She would play the same game over and over—some crappy looking RPG from the 90s. It has an unpronounceable name, but Sarah said she was “bonded” to the game. She also told us that she changed her name to be that of one of the game characters. Upon further discussion, she explained that she believed she was the human incarnation of this character and that they shared a soul.

RIGHT.

A week later, she announced she was leaving again, this time going to the UK to visit an online friend. Still no job. She was still doing nothing but playing video games, complaining, dicking around on the computer and sleeping. That’s it.

Still trying to find a way to bring her into the group, I even took her to the airport. About 24 hours later there is a frantic phone call from Sarah to the house. It seemed that she was denied entry into the UK. What? That’s like being denied entry into Canada. That’s just sad. I picked her up at the airport after she was deported and tried to talk to her.

I couldn’t get much out of her because she was a blithering, crying mess, but apparently UK officials looked through her laptop and that had greatly upset her. She also said they took her bag with her medication so she couldn’t control her emotional problems.

Oh. Emotional problems. Well, that explains A LOT.

She asked me to not tell the others about her needing medicine to keep sane. I said I wouldn’t tell them but I suggested she do that since the others were kind of losing their patience with her.


Trying to be Nice
She was still unemployed and still had not produced a resume for everyone to pass around, and I felt sorry for her. So, I offered her a job at the store I worked at as a part-time cashier. She said she didn't like dealing with customers (who does?) and that she was "over qualified" for the job. WHAT? Yes, everyone is over-qualified to ring on a register, but when you need money, you need money, right? Nice way to show gratitude.


The UK Comes to Sarah
So it’s the middle of the second month and Sarah still hasn’t found a job and doesn’t seem to be looking. She tells us she is having a houseguest for a week. Matt tells her that all guests staying more than three days need everyone’s approval. She complains and says this is “for her mental health.”

The guest is the person she was trying to visit in the UK. We all tell her that we have heavy work schedules that week so if she needs to get places she will need to use the bus or cabs. (She is the only one without a car) She says fine.

The guest arrives. The guest introduces herself as “The Right Bishop Something.” I laugh, thinking it’s a joke. Apparently it is not. This person thinks she is actually this bishop whose name I can’t pronounce or spell so “Something” will be his or her or it’s name. She also thinks she’s a man. But that’s another story…

Something and Sarah spend the week playing video games, sleeping, playing on the computer and eating everyone else’s food. I learned that week that Bishop Something was another character in another video game. Apparently these people are sharing their craziness online, and apparently there are more of them. There's liking something. There's fanning something. And then...there's this insanity.

Anyway, the fourth night of Something’s visit, one of the engineers decided to BBQ in honor of Matt’s birthday. We always do something decent for Matt since he is the best landlord ever. I made a cake, the lawyer got some really nice wine (he collects it), and the other engineer helped cook because she’s awesome like that.

We invited Sarah and Something to join us and Engineer #2 even offered to make them veggie burgers that she had bought especially for them. They turned down the offer and instead made protest signs and wandered around muttering something about being pacifists but still willing to call in their Army to destroy us for BBQ. This was apparently very funny to them, but none of us got the joke. After about 20 minutes of their chanting around us as we tried to eat, the lawyer told them to “grow the gently caress up, get new meds for your insanity and leave us in peace.”

Sarah started to cry and scream that no one understand her and how she hates it when people assume because she doesn’t “conform to the norm” that she is “insane.” Something rushed to her aide but not before telling us that we were horrible people and that didn’t we know that Sarah suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for being teased incessantly in grade school?

Matt, always the voice of reason, said, “You cannot get PTSD from being teased. You get PTSD from being raped, from being a witness to a violent crime or from being in war.”

Something started to argue with him when Sarah reappeared. She cried and said she was going to sue Matt for making her living environment “hostile.” He just nodded to her and started eating his BBQ.

And this is where the real fun begins…tune in next time…


Stay tuned for Part II next time...
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-06-08 08:47 PM, in Marshmallow? Link
Really? I was thinking caramel apple sundae.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-06-08 08:53 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
The first one would tarnish my employment, the second one would only tug at my conscious. I'd rather be slowly diminished by mental anguish than be hindered in employment because of a conviction. Second one.

Are you aware that without defining a specific amount of time, the present doesn't exist?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-07-08 04:46 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Not telling.



Anyway, Eddie Izzard in or out of drag?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-08-08 12:31 AM, in Marshmallow? Link
Caramel apple sundae.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-08-08 12:33 AM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
NO MORE IQ TESTS!! I'm done with doing those, I know what my IQ is, and I'm happy not doing that, or SATs or anything else. ASVAP included.

Would you rather have bionic eyes that also have a 24-hour live feed to the internet, or genitalia controlled by a live feed from the net?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-10-08 08:06 PM, in Marshmallow? Link
Pssh, I see your melonade and raise you some pie-monade.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-10-08 08:08 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Yes, but mine is currently influenced by both laziness and stress.

Do you identify with the characters on Degrassi?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-10-08 08:11 PM, in Fucked Up Roommate From Hell Link
Well, again, it's not really a story. It's taken from a community where people post about their crappy roommates.

Continuing:


Insane Housemate, Part II

Jul. 17th, 2008 at 4:55 PM


We last found our hated heroine picketing our BBQ...



I showed the other housemates this post and they began giving me more stories that I was not aware of involving Sarah. Carrie has some especially good ones since they were on the same floor and shared a bathroom. I now have lots of material to entertain you with…let’s hope I have time to type it all up.

Before I get back to the sick, sad story that is Sarah, I will answer some questions that came up in comments and private-messages.

1. No, we are not looking for a new housemate.
2. The game Sarah was obsessed with was called Swekodan. I am not sure of the spelling, but that’s what it sounds like.
3. I won’t tell you the character name since she legally changed her last name to the character’s last name.
4. Yes, the character is apparently male. Yes, Sarah is definitely female.
5. Yes, I used to be on LJ but since I am furryporn/hentai artist I left during boldout. I only read comms these days but after seeing this one highlighted I had to share my story of sad.
6. She moved in during February of 2007. I should have mentioned that while posting the story.

And to simplify things here are the players in this crazy game:

The Housemates
Pete, that’s me. I’m a retail manager.
Matt, the landlord. He works as a high school guidance counselor.
Carrie, mechanical engineer and only female until Sarah came along.
Zack, computer engineer, works for a major software design company. Very quiet.
Dan, professional petsitter. He’s never home because he’s so busy.
Tim, attorney. He speaks his mind all the time.

The Insane People
Sarah, a girl who believes she is a male videogame character and the rest of the world are ignorant fools. Unemployed.

Something, a girl from the UK who believes she is a man and also a video game character. Sarah’s friend she met online.

Boyfriend. Sarah’s boyfriend who lives in another part of the state.

So where did we leave off? Oh yes, the BBQ…

The Emissary and the House Meeting, March 2007
Following the incident at the BBQ, Sarah retreated to her room and would send Something out to procure her food. This seclusion went on for two days until Something came downstairs bearing a letter from Sarah. The letter asked us all to meet with her that evening.
Matt agreed to have a house meeting and all of us were there, even Dan, who is rarely home. We sat in the family room and waited for Sarah to arrive at the appointed time. She and Something made quite a show. They came downstairs together, Sarah wrapped in a blanket and wearing her PJs and leaning on Something.

Something prefaced the meeting with some nonsense about how everything said in the room was not to leave the room, how we had to be careful of Sarah’s mental state and how we must approach things with an open mind. No, I don’t think so. You’re invading MY space and wasting MY time with your crazy. Matt said, “We will listen to you. I cannot promise anything else.”

Sarah lifted her head and started to talk. She started with, “I am sorry but you have to understand where I am coming from.” She also said, “Lots of people cannot understand me because I have such a high intellect it is beyond their grasp.” Excuse us for being SANE, bitch. Anyway, from there we heard about various things including:

1. Her parents were awful to her because they didn’t understand her. They didn’t accept her as this video game character and her father threatened to disown her after she changed her name. All her mother wanted was a doll to dress up and give lots of presents. It wasn’t fair that they couldn’t accept her for what she was.
2. The kids in middle school picked on her and this caused her to have problems. It wasn’t fair that people picked on her because she was different. Aww…who didn’t get ripped on in middle school? Get over it.
3. The only people who understand her are her online friends who also believe they are videogame characters. They have created their own “safe haven” and since she started the “soul bonding movement” she has had lots of followers.
4. She used to belong to fandom but left because people trivialized her “alter ego” and used him in porn. (At this point I really, really wanted to look the guy up and draw him getting anally raped by tentacles and toilet plungers and then post it on the fridge, but I just didn’t have the time)

We listened. We nodded. Most of us refrained from rolling our eyes. Matt asked, “Are you receiving professional help?”

She said she didn’t have insurance so she hadn’t been able to get in to see anyone lately. This raised a flag with Tim. He asked, “Didn’t your job give you insurance?”

And then the truth began to come out.

She never had a job. She never lived in the state. She lived on the east coast and decided that CA would be more accepting of her. She started looking online for a place to stay and found us. To get past our “screenings” she had an online friend who worked at a programming company pretend to be her boss. The driver’s license she faxed us for the background check was legit—kind of. She visited CA and used another internet friends’ address as her own to get her license.

We asked her to leave. Matt even offered to let her stay there for April (since she paid for it) and give her that $500 back when she moved out by May 1. She started to cry. Something tried to stick up for her but Dan told her to shut up—she didn’t live here.

They went back upstairs and we all thought that was the end of it and that she would be gone come May 1.

But oh, it was not. She did not leave. She caused many more problems…

Next time…
We learn how she’s paying for everything…among other things.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 02:30 AM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Oh my lord, I loved Jarhead. But, then, Jakey barely dressed is enough for me. I'm not answering the other portion of your question.

Nose hairs or ear hairs?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 02:32 AM, in Marshmallow? Link
But, the cheese! Won't you think of the children?

They're so much more crunchy with the cheese.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 02:35 AM, in Fucked Up Roommate From Hell Link
The people that had it up there removed it because they were being harassed by the ex-roommate. Luckily, I managed to grab most of it before it all disappeared. I just don't have part seven, and they even mentioned at some point that they were cool with someone adapting it into something else. So, I might just head that route. Anyway, part III:


March 2007: Something Overstays Her Welcome
Something’s visit started at seven days, or at least that’s what were told. Remember, we were not given an option on this. Something just showed up. Anyway, after Sarah’s break down, Something changed her* plane ticket. Airline tickets are expensive. Changing an international airline ticket is insanely expensive. How was Something affording this? She didn’t seem like anyone who has ever held down a real job. Hmm….things were getting stranger and stranger.

*Something was definitely female but insisted on being referred to as male, like her “souled” character. I’ll call Something a she because she was physically female.

The housemates began to get annoyed that Something decided to crash here for another 10 days AND we were not told until Something herself told Matt, “I’m staying.” Oh REALLY? How can you decide you’re staying?

Matt said, “So nice of you to decide that my house is your house.”

She said, “I have to take care of Sarah! She hasn’t come out of her room since you told her that she has to leave! I’ve been bringing her food and making sure she takes care of herself up there!”

“That’s a lie,” Matt said. “I’ve seen the two of you down here using the TV to play games.”

“But she’ll only come out if I’m with her!”

“I don’t even know your real name,” Matt answered. “I know you were not born with the name you use and I don’t trust people who can’t even tell me their real name.”

Something gave him some story about how she was this Bishop and how everything he was saying was an insult to her religion. She spent about 20 minutes trying to explain this "religion" of "soulbonding" to Matt, Zack and I. Finally, Matt told her could stay the 10 days but after that, she was going to a hotel or he was calling the cops.

Then, he told her that he wanted to talk to Sarah that evening. Something said she would relay the message.

Matt’s Meeting With Sarah
Matt told Sarah that Something was annoying the household and that she was taking advantage of his good nature by keeping her there. He also offered to take her to see a psychiatrist who was a friend of his that he met working through the school. He said she wouldn’t have to pay a thing because his friend agreed to see her as a favor to him. She reluctantly accepted.

The next morning, Matt took Sarah to the doctor while Something fretted about not being allowed to go. Sarah asked for her to come, but Matt said no.

Something spent the better part of that morning whining to everyone who was in the house. She flopped down on the sofa and said that she had a “right” to be there with Sarah because Sarah had “shown her path” and she needed to “give back” to her friend in need. Zack told her to grow up…and Zack rarely talks to anyone he doesn’t know.

I asked her how Sarah could afford to live here. She said that was “Sarah’s business.” I said it was our business and since she was Sarah’s mouthpiece I expected an answer. She said when Sarah got back she would have her tell us. It was like talking to a five year old.

Matt brought Sarah back—keep in mind he took a day out of work to run this favor for her—and she went to her room. Something followed. Matt said he couldn’t tell us exactly what happened since Sarah saw the shrink by herself, but he did take her to a pharmacy afterwards.

In the next few days, Sarah changed. She didn’t spend hours in front of the TV or the computer. She smiled, she talked to us, and she even told Something to give it a rest when Something wanted to talk about “forming their Army” again. Whatever drugs she was taking were working…

About a full week later, Sarah started filling out job applications online and emailing her resume. She actually seemed to be tired of Something’s presence. One evening while a bunch of us were in the kitchen, I asked how she was able to afford all this without working.

She said, plain as can be: “I have people offer me donations on my blog so I can spread the news of my religion.” Her religion being that she is actually a male video game character from a game that came out in the 90s.

WHAT? So there are some morons out there who are giving money to Sarah so she can pretend to be a videogame character and teach others how to do the same?!?!?!

Something said, “We give her things because she has helped us find our true selves.”

“So you don’t work either?” Tim asked. I could tell he was ready to explode.

“No, I get government benefits in the UK.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t like to work.”

Ok. No one likes to work.If given the option, I bet just about everyone in the world would say, "I'd rather being doing X but I need money so I do Y." But asking people to donate to you so you can travel around and sit on your rear end...that's just wrong. Even worse...there are people out there who do it! Sarah's boyfriend is apparently the worst enabler in this group. According to Something, he bought her a car (that she sold), plane tickets and sends her money on a regular basis.

And I thought some of the people I met at furrycons were stupid…

Something Leaves, Sarah Gets a Job
Finally, Something left. I was almost cheering as Zack took them to the airport. Then, the very next day Sarah had good news—she had an interview for job as a tester at a software company. Matt asked her if she had started to look for a new place because it was now April. She said she had looked at some places online but needed to visit them in person. Even Tim offered to give her rides to check them out.

So what do you think happened next? Ooo…the story is just getting started…Sarah screwed us all royally…not to mention her job. Oh, that’s a story in and of itself.


So, more after this as well...
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 02:50 AM, in An Actual Drawing Link
YOUR FACE IS A POST-IT!
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 03:39 PM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Sometimes, but we'd have to ask my clones.

Kitty tail or Doggy tail?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-14-08 03:40 PM, in Marshmallow? Link
Does it? I'll have to check that out. I thought our moon was made of cheese.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-17-08 12:29 AM, in Fucked Up Roommate From Hell Link
More


April 2007: Sarah Gets a Job
She managed to get a job doing software testing, ironically where our former housemate (the one who married) worked. I’ll tell you more about her “work ethic” in a future post…suffice it to say she was shocked to learn your boss gets mad when you update your “I’m a video game character” blog from work. Anyway, since she had started taking the meds she was actually decent to be around and stopped being a complete and total freak. I didn’t hear the retarded chimes of that video game in the family room, either.

There was a week between her getting the job and starting the job and this required her going for drug testing and stuff. I drove her to do that and when we were leaving she asked if I would take her to the airport the next day. I asked, “Why?”

Oh, because her boyfriend had sent her cash for a plane ticket to come and see him for the weekend. Smart. The weekend before you start a new job, you travel. Brilliant. I told her I would but she would have to give me gas money since the airport is about an hour from the house. She said, “But I have no money.”

I told her to stop lying. I knew she was making money off her “I am such a gifted intellectual who is a video game character and its my religion” blog. She shrugged. “It was worth a try,” she smirked.

Oh yes. She was a devious bitch.

She leaves for the weekend and then her flight back Sunday night gets delayed…by four hours. She didn’t get in until 2AM and hadn’t asked anyone to pick her up. So, what does she do? She calls the house. Tim answered the phone and told her to take a cab.

When she got home at 4AM after finding a cab, she started yelling and screaming, waking everyone up. She cursed everyone and told us we were not being sensitive to her needs! Matt asked her point blank if she was taking her meds. She said, “No because my boyfriend says they are bad for me!”

Tim told her to “grow the gently caress up and get back on the pills.” The rest of us returned to our rooms while she threw a fit. Stuff was pulled out of the cabinets. Carrie said she smashed a few of her coffee mugs. Cabinets slammed. She broke a window with a wooden spoon. When I left for work later that morning, she was sitting in a heap in the family room playing her game. I left her there.

So much for her first day at work. She called in sick. Nice impression.

Matt came home from work and told her she had two choices: Go with him to see his shrink friend again or he was calling the cops about all the breakage. She did. The next morning she got up and went to work.

That evening she apologized to all of us and offered to pay for the broken stuff when she got her first check. Everyone just nodded. She said her boyfriend was coming to visit for a weekend the following week. Tim said, “You better stay on those drat pills.”

The Boyfriend
Sarah worked those four days and then the following week, putting us in the middle of April. Then her boyfriend arrived. He was a nice guy and we couldn’t figure out what he was doing with such a headcase. But, of course, you guessed it…he was one of those soulbonders. Except, he believed he was a dragon. That’s right. A loving dragon. Tim asked him to breathe fire. Apparently that was offensive to him, but he had a better humor about it than Sarah. And, he didn’t claim to have PTSD like Sarah did.

Sarah went crazy cleaning before he came. She told Carrie to vacuum her room because Boyfriend was allergic to “just about everything.” Carrie replied that Boyfriend was not invited into her room so it shouldn’t be an issue. Sarah said, “Even the dust from over there will cause him to break out.”

Carrie told her to stuff it.

Sarah also had the gall to tell Matt that his dogs couldn’t be in the house while Boyfriend was there. Matt told her, “I like my dogs more than your Boyfriend. He can sleep outside.”

One interesting thing about him was that he called Sarah by her video-game name, which is decisively male. Dan asked him if he was gay. That pissed him off, but it was still funny.

Sarah whined that we weren’t being very nice to her guest. Dan said, “Why should we be? Last one you brought home stayed way too long and this guy just pays for you to live in a delusion.”

Oh, that set the boyfriend off. Didn’t we know that plenty of people in the world were “soulbonders” and “otherkin” and that we were “racists.” Now, I don’t know how those “demographic groups” qualify as a race but okay. He said we were harassing Sarah and that we better watch it.

Matt said, “I’ve been making sure your girlfriend has been getting her medicine that she needs. You should be more thankful.”

Then the boyfriend started off on how medicating someone like Sarah was wrong and just a way for the drug companies to make money. He said that the drugs stunted Sarah’s creativity.

Tim said, “You mean her craziness? Because normal people do not believe they are gender bent video game characters.”

A day later, the boyfriend left. We were now about a week and half from Sarah’s supposed departure.

Sarah Plays Hardball
On night while we were watching a ball game on TV and Sarah was whining that she wanted to “get lost in her world” because she had a hard day at work, Tim asked “When are you leaving?”

She said, “I’m not.”

Matt said, “I told you that you had to be out by May 1. And since you’re a month to month tenant.”

“You didn’t give me enough notice,” she said.

“I only have to give a month’s notice,” Matt said.

“I don’t have it writing,” she replied.

“I don’t do written leases,” Matt said. “I only do month to month and over 30 days ago we all told you we wanted you out.”

“Then you’ll have to evict me,” she said.

…and this is where the real fun began.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 695 days
Last activity: 695 days
Posted on 10-17-08 12:32 AM, in Answer one, Ask one Link
Yes, and I've received them in high school as well.

If you could only convey information through a doggy tail, what would yours do?
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