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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by venomouslobster |
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venomouslobster Scarfy          Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| I would beat everyone in the area with a severed dinosaur penis...... then i would steal all the chainsaws, machetes and assorted pointy shit, and hop in a truck filled with high nitrogen fertilizer, and drive into the sunset | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| attention ladies and gentlemen who chose my dear sweet Hyatt.....you have exellent taste.....but i will still come for you while you sleep....anywho in keeping with the theme: i would not date any of you...i would kidnapp you tie you up in my basment and paint you blue....then release you into the wild
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| interestingly enough the christian bible (the king james version) openly admits the existance of magic, in as much as it forbids doing it | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| i would miss you like a severed testicle you bastard!!!! in fact i miss you right now....you were the first friend i made in this abyssmal burg and you will always be one of the finest. furthermore, if you die i am going to kick your ass!!!
and when i die the nation will be shocked and disgusted as i will be on fire, covered in human feces, midst the wreckage of a porta-potty, splattered against the white house lawn, and you wont miss me, you will be brought in for questioning, inasmuch as you will have been driving the catapult!!!!! |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| My nipples explode into a thousand distinct, yet dazzling points of light and wonder and joy and small fat children juggling cabbages at the sight of this wonderous and perplexing show of me-appriciating. I thank you all and joyously with love clutch you all to my thorny, thorny bosoms.
In regards to the possibility of me having a wise-ass leprechaun that sits upon my shoulder; I already have one, his name is Pockets. And lastly, hopefully I shall be posting more often because upon my birthday meats, I have recieved the components for a exhalted and rapturous computer forged from the purest of spam (the luncheon meat, not the penis mail). And since I will be getting Elder Scrolls Oblivion, the chances of contacting me by phone/ mail/ IM/ email/ walking up and smashing me over the head with a large hammer will be greatly reduced. |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| Curse you Pockets for telling everyone how I injured myself! *rants about being angry*
... incidentally, I'm only posting this so that everyone will know that it was me he was talking about. I'm such a ham. |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| exellent animation if you like it go see bitey of brackenwood!!! | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| Name:I am called Zvidurix D'fyallish(some other noises that you cant make without three uvulas and happen to be fluent in a language where sound has no meaning) most beings with mouths usually call me Zvid, most beings with a brain say it with utmost respect
Age: in this world i have resided for uncounted aeons, more than most races reckon history... and i was spawned in a "place" where we count moments differently Race: I was an Illithid a long time ago when our people ruled those places that exist behind the minds and secrets of the dreamers, in the sprawl of cities constructed of pure will and light, in those illuminated times when your people were as food and chattel to us and feared our kind as "Mind Flayers"....but we were not a perfect being, we were as slaves ourselves to the elder brains, the rulers of our cities and and when our bodies withered with eld, our minds would be taken to the elder brains that our knowledge could be used by them......i would not hold with this, for my mind, my knowledge, my spells would live on....after my long years of study and after ripping the information from many lesser minds, i gained the secrets to ASCENDANCE!!! i cast away my mortal body and attained LICHDOM.....I BECAME AN ALHOON! AN ILLITHILICH!! my people cast me out as an abomination...so i went....i did not need them any longer Sex:.....excuse me i dont understand the question....mmhmm....no my people dont have those..... Appearance:I look like this this is the average alhoon.....but due to a "gentle repose" spell that has been made permanant he is not like the grotesque creature depicted here... he wears comfortable red robes with many many pockets for books ,spell components and the like, all of which are much smudged with ink Backstory: I am a collector of Secrets, lost and forgotten lore.....i now have a great deal of time on my hands and it is spent researching in this library, traveling, collecting ancient oddities and magic. Recently (Editors note: it may interest you to note, that here he is refering to a 3984 year span) I have been residing in the library at Mazuth Mori (an elven tower of high study) and the occupants let me largley keep to myself....after a few instances when some paladin or other decided i should be eradicated, i do not harm them but after a week or so of banging ineffectually on my spell mantles they tend to go away.....disappointed....since my ascencion i rarely if ever feed on brains unless i need to collect certain particularly salient information that said brains owner feels disinclined to share with me, and when i do it is with the utmost care to conceal my actions, so my prescance has become tolerated here in the acadamy.....and from time to time i participate in the sim battles in exchange for secrets Powers: Zvidurix is a wizard of great and copious skill, and there are not many spells (taken from the wizards of the coast dnd books: players handbook and spell compendium) that he does not have access t. he replenishes his spells daily and in accordance with what he must do that day....for instance if that day he is writing a book he stocks up on "unseen servant" and "animuisis" to help with making copies and fetching ink and such...but say he was planning to fight someone he would load up on spells based on what he knew about that person and he would scry to reasearch their weaknesses or fighting styles. a frequent manner of defence he uses is to place certain spells into contingency...(i make a new list of prepared spells for each battle and i also prepare a list of spells that Zvid has contingencied fresh each battle) |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| (six weeks prior) In a room with no light in our spectrum, no wind that a man could percieve, the scent of moldering books in a room that no mortal eyes have seen since its currant occupant took up residence, the currant occupant watches a mirror of polished copper (once owned by an oracle of dubious talant, but great renown) and in its lightless "reflection" the dead white eyes of our occupant saw a dark haired deity glittering in a neat little corner of a chaotic realm...she was evidently planning to challange him at some juncture in the near future... to find out the exact date and time he would need to consult an augury and had a victim somewhere prepared to consult its intestines for the purpose, but that could wait...this creature warranted further scrutiny, he needed to find out her weaknesses and strengths....perhaps any other vulnerabilities (friends family...anyone with a brain that she gave particular consideration.....etc)....there was soo much work to do....spells to place into contingency, glamours to cast, scrying of not only the battlefield, the enemy and her past and possible future actions, but her belongings and assets, possibly people to interview....
.......so much work.... |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| Organic foods especially milk usually is bought because:
You are a hypochondriac health nut who eats boiled onions with tabasco ( my dad) it tastes better (yes kids...it generally does and i will explain why) lets take tomatoes Non organic: they dont actually ripen comercially produced tomatoes, they surround them with inert gas which triggers reddening in the tomato, and it is now the rage to (in addition to spraying) inject preservatives and anti bug chemicals into the tomato plant or even geneticly alter them in order to be bug resistant and rot resistant...now i am not saying that this is a necissarly bad thing, but it is true that it alters the flavor, and the more other stuff they do to it the less it tastes like a normal tomato organic: is a tomato, completly utterly tomatolike and secure in its tomatohood, it may go bad sooner or the farmer may loose more of the crop to insects, and it will take a few weeks longer to ripen but it will be more flavorful and tomatoish in the end |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| the wind whistles eerily, and other than a vague sensation of wrongness....the forest remains unchanged
"i am in no way beholden to your orders little diety, i am not one of your little muddy fur covered worshippers" *A blistering blast of psionic energy welms your mind, brimming with malice and searching for cracks to exploit* (note here please i said whelm...not overwhelm) |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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*a charred elf falls from the branches of the tree and thumps to the ground in a small puff of becindered feathers that might have once been white, and a person with keen darkvision would be able to discern a hint of silver glinting around her neck...and a person with exeptional darkvision would be able to ascertain that it is a pendant....of a greatsword over the chaos moon* "i have noticed your penchant for large explosions........so i took the precaution of collecting a few of your more devoted worshippers to participate in a little game..." *the cooing of frightened doves sounds all over the wooded glade* "there are 32 doves under indirect compusion in this area, in the trees, nestled in the grass, some flying in circles over your head" *a dove alights on your shoulder cooing desperatly in your ear* "out of this number 23 of them are in fact polymorphed clerics of your order, devoted worshippers each and every one" * the dove flaps off into the treeline circling an elm* "and one of them (sensation of a grin)...............is me" "so cast your spells little god....." |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| *doves flap their wings and burst into flight*
( all thirty two show up as holy to you, but in a vague indistinct sort of way) "looks like you are in a pickle....perhaps your explody doom shall not help you here on this day?" |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| dont worry my love, i will always be there....
...because i am BATMAN ....and pockets is the Riddler |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| I WOULD TURN UP THE VOLUME ON MY VOICE!!!!
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| The time is now 5:42 and counting
morpheus has yet to grace this lobster with somnolance and behold....the orb of fiery HATE......the ball of burning dung in the sky, set ablaze to scorch my skin red, to blister my retinas, to convert my lovley bespackled home into an efulgent oven of misery and inefficiant air conditioning....the site of which generally causes me to crumble into a smiling (albiet sweaty) lump of unconsious dreaming....it occurs to me that the skyclops may take this as a daily surrender to its cruel and deliberate shining...but no more shall i simply lay down! i shall stay awake! firmly in place of my faculties which arent the slighest bit diminished my my massive consumption of coffee!....speaking of which i believe that every living human who is capable of garnering even the slightest bit of joy from the hobby of people watching you should definatley watch the movie "coffee and cigarettes" in any case i shall continue posting as inspirado strikes...i must now play artichoke golf 6:09 am artichoke lobster golf consisted entirely of watching lemony snicket's S.O.U.E. thoughts: firstly there is no way that anybody could convince me that any character played by Jim Carrey could succesfully murder any character played by Billy Connelly (clearly it is a conspiracy), and i really want a pet Incredibly Deadly Viper...so much. Secondly, the Daystar is in the sky already and its rays are leaping like ninja through my window blinds and clambering tooth and nail over my cheeks and plunging into my fragile eyes! but i shall never relent, at least until my lady's clement gentle moon rises once more to banish the things that i forgot i was talking about while writing this sentance.... (Last edited by venomouslobster on 07-03-06 12:28 PM) |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| in todays LA times there is an article which set my brain meats a squigglin'. It was entitled: "I love you, I hate you" (emotional extremes can thrill in books and films but in real life, low self esteem may be the cause of such rocky relationships)
It talks about how ones feelings, negative or positive, affect romantic relationships and in a nut shell it says that turbulent, emotional love affairs wherein the partners move from very positive to negative feelings about their partner are caused by low self image. sages from time immemorial have said things to the effect of "if you cannot love yourself giving love to others will be....problematic" and it is quite true Consider a married couple in which partner A forgets the birthday of partner B If partner B has a high opinion of themself, then partner B is less likely to assume that parnter A forgot it because of a failing in partner B, but rather a common slip of the mind. (also a person with a healthy self image is able to forgive mistakes in others because they can forgive the mistakes they make themselves). also a low self esteem can cause a person to overlook egregious errors in their partner because of IDEALIZATION of their partner. If you truly believe that your partner can do no wrong, is it because you have an unrealistic idea of how you are? i have seen many relationships rife with problems due to self doubt, wherein people blame themself, their partner, the world in general for the problems they have as a couple when the sensible thing to do would be to simply deal with it in a positive manner i have seen relationships in which person A was engaging in TOTALLY unacceptable behavior that was outright cruel and psychotic and unfaithfull, but person B felt that "oh if I only loved them more, or if I was better as a person, maybe they wouldnt hurt me so much" and person B put up with horrific emotional abuse for months and months! we all have our moments of self doubt where we wonder if we are "good enough" but i promise each and every one of you that if you give your self a chance, see the flaws in your self as nothing more than simple obstacles easily overcome and work to overcome them, and take the pride you deserve for doing so...then your relationships with others will reflect that pride and effort |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| *below you, a simple stone lies unconcealed below you, pulsing with evil and undeath* | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| "eggs"
dad brought mom a plate of eggs and handed it to her saying "here are your eggs" my mother said that i looked "sagely" at the plate for a moment, looked at mom and confirmed that yes those were "eggs"... as opposed to all other people and objects in the world which i had decided were "BOOOO" and named as such.....very loudly i am told, and at length 8 months |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6118 days Last activity: 5367 days |
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| Now dont get me wrong here, our culture is going toward more 20 somethings staying at home because of the expenses, cost and other balverine ploo what am i talking about?,,,,anywho so the point i think is that you should really knock out your parents....and then....i forgot but still...make with the beatings...and move in with me sort of |
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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by venomouslobster |
