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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Evo |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....          Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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If not, Kate's going anyway, so there. Someone's gotta be a bridesmaid. (I dun have any chick friends that can besides online, lol).  Just messin. She doesn't hafta...  *sniff*
I have no idea when it'll be, but sometime in the summer, methinks... |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| lol, Whoopi rocks. If I was a celebrity, I'd go to random peoples's house for Thanksgiving dinner.
MY Mother Constantly undecisive if she is claiming bankrupcy or rollin gin the dough, my mother seems to have multiple personality disorder at times. She was a great mother when I was younger, before she came to be who she was. When I was probably about 12, she decided to flip out on us (my two sisters, my father, and I) and became a Pagan. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just how she took it. She began smoking pot, hung out with her friends who claimed themselves witches, and held "Circles" where they got togehter, prayed to the goddesses, and - to my horror - howled at the moon. So, all the neighbor kids could hear her, and I was the weird kid. Not only that, but she decided she was going to trap an evil spirit in a mirror, and a bunch of other hocus-pocus stuff she says she did that I don't believe she ever DID (magickal stuffs). (even if it is possible). She then became attracted to one of her female friends, devistating my sister and I. She was MARRIED to our FATHER, and she wanted a woman? We couldn't really understand. Their marriage failed from that point, her outwardly crazyness casting my dad into the shadows, where he barely ever talked and had a face of stone. They got a divorce, and she moved into town. Then one day while I was talking on the phone, she came in and hung it up on me (she actually did this numerous times). I called them back, she hung up again. I made a smart-ass remark, and she locked me in the room and proceeded to try and hit me, then called the cops on me for shoving her out of the way so I could escape. Hmm... what else... She developed a sense of liberty when her and my father devorced, sleeping with practically every guy she met, including the grungy, drugged up ones. Then she developed a relationship with Pam, the manipulative bitch. She used my mother to buy her children stuff because she couldn't afford it. My mum also let Pam drive one of the vehicles she owned and took her out to dinner/movies/other things, where Pam didn't even pay her back (usually you take turns taking each other out to dinner, ya know?). Merh. She spastically claimed bankruptcy a few times (not sure if she did legally or not), and then followed it a week later by telling us how she has so much money stashed away in the "Fuck Uncle Sam" fund. She's thrown me out of the house numerous times for little things like not cleaning my room. She leaves her pipe out in plain sight where my niece and nephew can see it when she knows they're coming over, and all that good stuff. I'm going to end my rant here, because now that we're not living together, we're getting along a lot better, and I don't see her faults as closely as I did while I was sharing a house with her. *sighs* Sorry - long rant. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| My life seems to be in turmoil lately, and I don't think I can deal with it anymore. So, the breakdown (skip to "summary" if you don't have time to read everything):
Physical I'm pregnant. Every day, I'm in constant physical pain. I'm lucky enough to have a guy who will massage me, but the pain doesn't stop after a few minutes massage. My feet, my legs, my back, even my stomach when my baby moves, it feels like he's crushing some internal organ, and it's been hurting more and more to feel him move. I've been sick for years, an illness that the doctors can't diagnose. My throat is constantly sore, clogged with a thick mucus that makes it difficult to breath and do the activities I normally love (soccer, DDR, running, swimming anything). On top of that, throwing up has been comin g back, mainly because of stress rather because of morning sickness. My tits are fucking gigantic, my stomach is bigger than ever, and I hate how my face looks. Mental I have a serious lack of motivation. It keeps me from doing anything. Cleaning, cooking, doing homework, talking to friends, the list goes on. Not to mention the constant depression I've been battling since my spirit was literally crushed by my abusive, rapist ex boyfriend who thankfully now lives in Arkansas. I'll leave it at this for now. Work My vision becomes blurry when I'm at work. I stand all day as a cashier. After it becomes blurry, I start to black out. If I do, I fall and I hit my head, then I need to go to the ER and have 2 litres of fluid pumped into me through an IV - never fun. Because of my dizzy spells, I've left work early at least three times since I've started working there, which was about a month an a half ago. As if that wasn't bad enough, I have number dislexia and misread the schedule they have posted. I read "15" as "45," so I am constantly half an hour late to work because I'm too fucking dumb to tell the difference between a 1 and a 4. The store manager has made it clear that I'm not likely to have a job after Christmas Eve. School I dropped out of HS to persue my GED and go into college, which I failed miserably. Out of 6 to 8 classes I've taken, I've only passed 2 of them because I have this lack of motivation. Fucking lovely. Money Even with the baby on the way, I can't seem to stop spending my money on useless shit. I see something, I get it. If it's a $4 block of cheese that will last me two days, fine. I'll have it. I'm also really generous when it comes to my niece and nephew and tend to overdo myself come Christmas (guess what? Now!) I have a $240 monthly payment to the bank for a $10,000 loan which was used to purchase two arcade machines as well, so yay. And on top of that, I've found that my insurance won't be covering all of my medical bills, so I get stuck with a fatty bill when my baby's born. It'd be cheaper to just shoot myself in the fucking head. House My house is a fucking pigsty. I have no motivation to clean it, however, I will sit there and glare at the floor for hours wishing it will clean itself. My bedroom is covered, COVERED in clothing that doesn't even fit my fat ass anymore, and the living room is laden with dirty dishes containing some substance that looks nothing like what it previously was two weeks ago. Motherhood I'm going to be a horrible mother. I hate cleaning. I hate shit. I hate throw up. I hate it when my cats MEOW, how the hell am I going to deal with a child? I hate children. I hate how dirty they get their fucking hands and how they get sick so easily. I hate that I killed my first child in an abortion because I'm a stupid fucking slut that couldn't think for herself and let her mother persuade her into it. Now I'm pregnant again and I have this child growing inside of me that I hate. But at the same time, I love him to death. I want to hold him and let him know that it'll be ok... that his mommy loves him more than anything right now, and so does his daddy.............. Friends Who would have fucking guessed it? I have no friends. I have TWO real friends, and guess what? They're online. Elara and Katie are the only people (besides RYan, my fiance) that have been there for me and always helped me when I needed someone. And even they are disappearing. Even if they weren't, I can't talk to them when I need to. They have their own lives and live miles upon miles away from here. Kaijin has stopped talking to me and hardly ever says anything when I make an attempt to talk, and even though he now has his own car, refuses to take his lazy ass to meet me anywhere. It's always been me visiting him way out on the other side of town for years. Then his mom's a psycho woman that tries to give me all of her prized possessions. Another board member is there for me when I need him, but won't STOP FUCKING TLAKING ABOUT HIS FUCKING STUPID BITCH ONLINE GIRLFRIEND THAT HE'S NEVER MET AND ONLY KNOWN FOR LIKE 2 1/2 MONTHS AND OF COURSE HE'S ALREADY IN LOVE WITH HER. Dumb fucks. their stupidity makes me want to break something. And I feel stupid for encouraging him to give it a try at the beginning when he was REALLY hesitant about dating her. And even though he says he's in love with her, when asked, he said he might break up with her if he found a girl down here willing to fuck him/go out with him. Oh yeah... that's love, honey. I fucked up the best friendship I ever had with a female over a GUY. It seemed like it was going to come back together with Kira and I, but it's not. It's going nowhere. My best friend since kindergarten had a child and moved away with some 40 year old freak. My other best friend is a pot-smoking, self-centered slut who apologized when I told her I was pregnant. Animals My two cats are becoming more and more annoying. My fiance hardly cleans their litter boxes, and I can't because I'm not supposed to breathe in the fumes. Then he always ends up using the last of their food and not buying any OR telling me that we're out so I can buy some. Then one wants to have nothing to do with me, while the other is a hyped-up attention whore who likes to jump on my stomach (my child) and claw me. Love The only thing that's been keeping me holding on is my fiance who spoils me. However, his sense of life and responsibility is basically nonexistant. We have a baby on the way!!! He doesn't take care of our cats when he knows I CAN'T (by doctor's orders) until I'm through with my pregnancy. He has a car that's barely running that someone offered him $500 for (when he normally couldn't get $200). He has a car he can drive, but he still holds onto this junk car when he knows we need the money. The last thing I want to make him do is sell his car, but come on! I know it's his baby, but with medical bills rising... Even though I never do anything around the house, he only does when I practically beg him to. I love this guy to death, but I don't think even my love for him and his love for me can keep me holding on any longer. Summary I know I will be a horrible mother. I don't want to bring another child into the world, especially if I can't take care of it. Ryan's always wanted to be a daddy, but I'm fucking through being pregnant. I'm sick of being sick, I'm tired of being in pain, This "disease" is keeping me from having a steady job that I really do enjoy, and soiling my work references. My past two jobs, I have called in sick and left sick because of this baby and I hate it. I'm normally a very punctual person, but by the time I'm ready to go back to work after the baby's born, no one will want to hire me because of my attendance record. I hate life. I really do. I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate who I am. I hate my apartment. I hate my animals. I hate my fiance, even though I love him. I hate what I've made of myself. and I hate the fact that I let my abusive ex still haunt who I am today. I'm through with it all. I've always, ALWAYS been against suicide. I know it's selfish. But it's selfish to stay here. It's selfish to keep my shitty ass in a world full of people and bring a child to this already overcrowded world. It's time to move on. Time to disappear from here. I love you, Ryan Dale Pina. I wanted to be your wife more than anything, but I can't take the pain anymore. I can't take being who I am. I love you all. Even those who I really hate. Sorry Zabuza, you just push my buttons. I don't hate you, but I wish you wouldn't be so blunty rude to me. ANd I understand that's who you are, but I really can't take this anymore. I can't take your fucking rudeness and my fucking life. (Last edited by Evo on 11-25-05 05:05 AM) |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Yes, I am still here. For those if you interested in an explaination, here is one I posted in my LJ
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jenneskimo_ball/99644.html I am really depressed, yes. I'm sure it will pass. Just so much pressure in my life right now, I want to cry just thinking about it. Those of you that think the arcade machine was a stupid purchase : I have over $120 in quarters it made in two weeks. THe MONTHLY payment is $240. $120 x 2 = $240. There's also been an increase in profits and plays as well. To everyone : If I had something to say, I sent you a PM. I just don't feel emotionally up to posting at this point in my life. I shall hopefully be back soon to swamp you all with mad posting once again. EDIT - Sajin, my real name is Jenna, but that's close enough, I guess. 
~Jen (Last edited by Evo on 12-01-05 03:05 AM) |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Hmm... is Karaoke Revolution pretty fun? My friend bought it and wants me to test it out. I'm not sure about that... lol. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| I think a lot of people are just insecure. When I find out someone is gay or bi, it's like "oh, ok,. cool." not "Oh, ok... as long as they don't hit on me." People who think and say that are just insecure about how this person will act now that they know the truth about their sexual preference.
And like you said, Zabuza, you're not (all) out to constantly hit on people because you're gay or bi, but some people like to make it clear that if you were feeling like you needed someone that they didn't like you in that way. I don't know if that made any sense or not. Heh. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| I'm sorry, hun.
1) Why was she self-destructive? What was it in her life that made her want to hurt herself? A lot of times, people just need to be able to talk to someone about what's really bothering them. When I was with my first real love, The relationship became strained and I felt that he didn't listen, appreciate, or basically do ANYTHING that a boyfriend/girlfriend should do. I became suicidal, or at least self-destructive when I got frustrated at him for not listening. All I really wanted was for him to sit with me and talk. For SOMEONE to be able to listen and talk with me woudl have made it so much better. 2) Bisexual. A LOT of females use this term to try to turn on the guys they're around. She may or may not be truely bizexual. Either way, when you showed concern rather than excitement at this bit of information, you may have upset her. She could have just been saying that to get your attention, or maybe she truely is bi. No real way to tell until she does stuff with other females. *shrugs* 3) anorexic to the point that she doesn't eat? How often does she eat? And does she admit to being anorexic? A lot of anorexic people won't admit to it, and if she does, maybe she's concerned for her own health. Again, this is where you need to step in and help her. Talk with her and figure out a way you can get her to eat more. Maybe more meals a day, or maybe just a little bit more to eat with each meal. Which ever would work for her. 4) Submissive? A lot of people are naturally like that. After my relationship with my abusive ex ended, I would flinch when a friend raised a hand. On reflex. Nothing but a lot of love and care took that reaction away from me. I don't even think twice about a raised hand now. or submissive in bed? If that's the case, there's nothing wrong with that. If you, too, are submissive, you need to figure out some stuffs with her. 5) I don't get this phrase "no sense of meaning in life but feeling happy." She's happy, but that's bad. You guys are young. There's no reason to be stone-cold set on the meaning of life and understanding the "master plan" and knowing "God's Will" or whatever. As you age, you will discover lots more, and it will become clearer. I have PLENTY to still learn, but I have discovered that I learn more about life every day. I know you said you two broke up, or at least she called to break up with you. But she needs SOMEONE. Be there for her as a friend, and try to talk to her. It sounds like that's what she really needs to me. Don't try to pressure her with religion or any of that really heavy meaning of life bullshit. Just see what's been on her mind. What has been hurting her so much mentally that she would want to hurt herself physically? I'm gunna shut up now. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| I, too feel that the destruction of parties would make it fairer for everyone. It's a label. Who you would vote for is putting a label on yourself, I think. Merh. | |||
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Umm... well... yeah. It's already been said so... I'll skip that.
Hello. Post lots, okies? Okies. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Have fun.
But don't make us kick your @$$. Heh. Just messin. Fly.. and post. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| ZOMGHAHj
Do NOT get a Dell. They SUCK COCK. You can get better for less. Just go to Circuit City or something. But whatever. Your money, honey.  |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Miroku from Inuyasha. Definatly the pevertedness. Hehe. Even though he's a male character, it just fits. No doubt. | |||
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| And, hun... You won't ever be forgotten. Friends do come and go, but you will always be in their hearts and minds.
Plus, no matter how far, there is always a way to see someone you're missing. I have friends 80 miles away, a couple hundred miles away, and quite a few hundred miles away, and one in Nicaragua, and I see them all AT LEAST once a year. Finances are very tight, but you know friends are important. Work schedules can always be modified. If you need a break bad enough or are really missing your friends/someone bad enough, get a day off from work that you know they have off and just hang out. Jobs are usually pretty understanding about time off, and if you're going to college, you probably have acouple days off from that a week, right? I hate the feeling of being forgotten... I know what it's like. But you've got a good group of friends that won't let you totally disappear. They'll drag your ass somewhere and force you to hang out with them.
*Goes back into the shadows* |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| (double entered while posting, please delete the other thread, ktnxbai!!!)
*Evobalthene swung her long legs out of bed, rubbing her eyes. She had finally awaken from her horrible nightmare... Padding out to the hallway, she found herself in the kitchen. Munching on a bagel, she found her way to the window, which looked out to the glorious scape of Xeoland below. She tossed her bagel on the floor and threw on her silk robe, running down the stone staircase, her heart beating wildly. As she got to the big oak door, she threw it open to reveal...* You. I've missed you all so much!!!! I'm sorry for disappearing.. but I'm back now. My son is now almost a year old. I have a full time job working at an insurance company... and I'm addicted to WoW. So I won't be on much, but I will be as much as I can. *hugs Katana* I missed this one a lot.
(I didn't see n00b hall, so I posted this here, you may close this if you wish) (Last edited by Evo on 01-30-07 12:31 AM) |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Ahhh... who could forget me
haha... I'd post pictures, but you've already seen them in Truth's posts. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Haha... I should say I don't remember pretty much anyone except Xeo, Sparda, Elara, Katana, truth/serum, uuhhh... and Kaijin.
Speaking of... since we're no longer together, I need my REAL last name on my layout (De LaCendre) if someone can fix this for me? I dunno... probably have to find the original image again.. *goes of grumbling* |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| Hey all... I'm sure we've all delt with people that at some point wish to take their lives. Or have even a few times ourselves.
I won't go into this too much, but I need advice on how to deal with someone like this. I would appreciate PMs from anyone that would be willing to listen or help. *Bows* thank you. Also, general pointers in this thread might be useful to anyone who is currently or will ever have to deal with this. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| F*** YEAH!!!
As of 1/29/2007 10:04:27 PM EST You are 19 years old. You are 238 months old. You are 1,039 weeks old. You are 7,273 days old. You are 174,574 hours old. You are 10,474,444 minutes old. You are 628,466,667 seconds old. Celebrities who share your birthday: Chris Martin (1977) Daniel Craig (1968) Jon Bon Jovi (1962) Laraine Newman (1952) Karen Carpenter (1950) Lou Reed (1944) Mikhail Gorbachev (1931) Jennifer Jones (1919) Desi Arnaz (1917) Dr. Seuss (1904) I share my bday with BON JOVI!!!! ROCK ON!!! |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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| "I frickin' rule"
That's been my motto lately. haha. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 5908 days Last activity: 5848 days |
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You know the Bible 56%!
Congratulations! You know a lot about the Bible - the books, the characters, the events. You are able to remember a lot of what you have heard and read! Surprising. |
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| Xeogaming Forums - - Posts by Evo |
