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Xeogaming Forums - Hyperbolic Time Chamber - This made me laugh a bit | |
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Savedox

Berserker
You put a bullet in my head, Till black turns to red! This could all end in tragedy!








Since: 08-20-04
From: Read \"Real Name\"

Since last post: 4544 days
Last activity: 1632 days
Posted on 01-10-06 02:33 AM Link | Quote
BOOTY CALL CONTRACT

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. There shall be NO sleeping over -- unless the sex is so good that it justifies a repeat performance in the morning.

2. We shall NOT meet in public except for dinner or drinks before the carnal events of the evening.

3Do NOT call me before 11:00 PM -- we don't have shit to talk about.

4. Under NO circumstances will there be any emotional discussions. These include questions like "Where are we heading with this?"; "Do you love me?"

5. We will NOT make plans in advance.

6. All gifts are gratefully accepted -- money is always the best gift.

7. NO talk of marriage shall ever be uttered -- however, dirty talk and screaming is encouraged.

8. We are NOT friends, just sex-buddies.

9. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK.

10. Do NOT wear extra clothing -- I want it fast, easy, and I sure as hell don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.

11. You will NOT fall asleep right after sex -- Consider my cry of "Oh, shit, I'm coming!" to be your cue to start gathering your things so you can get the fuck home.

12. Do NOT be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it -- I don't care.

13. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "Her roommate's boyfriend[girlfriend]."

14. You must confirm ALL visits. An unanswered phone call does not constitute confirmation.

15. If you don't want hot, wet, messy sex, do NOT come over.

16. Bring your own drinks -- I don't run a liquor store. Better yet, bring me a fifth of jack daniels.

By signing below, I agree to all of the above rules, regulations, stipulations, references, and inuendos. Furthermore, if I break this covenant, I will give great sex to the co-signer of this agreement during a drive of his/her choosing.

Booty Caller:
Date:
Booty Callee:
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4556 days
Last activity: 4550 days
Posted on 01-10-06 01:09 PM Link | Quote
Where exactly did you find this? Did you make this up or something?

:: Friend of mine peers over ::

"Dude I need a contract like that"

And for all those at harris County...that was Jeremy Armstrong <=^.^=>;;;
Savedox

Berserker
You put a bullet in my head, Till black turns to red! This could all end in tragedy!








Since: 08-20-04
From: Read \"Real Name\"

Since last post: 4544 days
Last activity: 1632 days
Posted on 01-10-06 08:11 PM Link | Quote
Lol, I got it from a friend, not sure where she got it but yea,
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 633 days
Last activity: 442 days
Posted on 01-10-06 08:27 PM Link | Quote
That sounds about right.. I've seen contracts like that before. I've had guy friends that wanted to have a fuck-buddy relationship with me and have mentioned that's what they want.

And yet, I end up with stalkers.
Savedox

Berserker
You put a bullet in my head, Till black turns to red! This could all end in tragedy!








Since: 08-20-04
From: Read \"Real Name\"

Since last post: 4544 days
Last activity: 1632 days
Posted on 01-10-06 10:15 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rogue
That sounds about right.. I've seen contracts like that before. I've had guy friends that wanted to have a fuck-buddy relationship with me and have mentioned that's what they want.

And yet, I end up with stalkers.



Heh, I think I should go around school with that and see how many girls will sign up

But I probobly wont cause I dont want to be kicked out for sexual harrasment
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 633 days
Last activity: 442 days
Posted on 01-10-06 10:18 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Drizzt DoUrden
Heh, I think I should go around school with that and see how many girls will sign up

But I probobly wont cause I dont want to be kicked out for sexual harrasment

And you've got a girlfriend.
Savedox

Berserker
You put a bullet in my head, Till black turns to red! This could all end in tragedy!








Since: 08-20-04
From: Read \"Real Name\"

Since last post: 4544 days
Last activity: 1632 days
Posted on 01-10-06 10:22 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rogue

And you've got a girlfriend.



Oh... and that to

Just kidding
WhiteRose

Warrior
Sailor Delerium

Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.








Since: 08-17-04
From: The Dreaming

Since last post: 4451 days
Last activity: 5155 days
Posted on 01-11-06 02:52 AM Link | Quote
lol. I can actually imagine someone carring copies of this contract with them when they go to clubs ro something. A very foolish (or brave) someone, but someone none the less.
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 4556 days
Last activity: 4550 days
Posted on 01-11-06 01:11 PM Link | Quote
A brave 400 pound desperate dude who goes to lesbian chat-rooms...
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 5887 days
Last activity: 5152 days
Posted on 01-11-06 05:50 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Drizzt DoUrden
Originally posted by Rogue

And you've got a girlfriend.



Oh... and that to

Just kidding


0_0....

....Bitch!

*runs to chase Elara with contract* =P

HA!

I love you, Drizzt
AlpoRaggins

Troubadour
Not so much dead.








Since: 12-11-04
From: Someday, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

Since last post: 6612 days
Last activity: 6502 days
Posted on 01-11-06 07:13 PM Link | Quote
I wonder if anyone out there actually does this...

Oh yeah. Pimps.

Let's all be pimps!
Savedox

Berserker
You put a bullet in my head, Till black turns to red! This could all end in tragedy!








Since: 08-20-04
From: Read \"Real Name\"

Since last post: 4544 days
Last activity: 1632 days
Posted on 01-11-06 08:33 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Makura
Originally posted by Drizzt DoUrden
Originally posted by Rogue

And you've got a girlfriend.



Oh... and that to

Just kidding


0_0....

....Bitch!

*runs to chase Elara with contract* =P

HA!

I love you, Drizzt



*runs after Elara also, but instead of giving the contract to Elara, gives it to Makura*



I love you to
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