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12-22-24 07:41 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Game Over - Juice--A rewrite | | Thread closed
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Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 05-20-05 03:01 PM Link
"Hey," Chris shoved his sleeping partner sitting next to him. The stake-out had droned on late into the night, and morning had snuck up on them. Their unmarked police cruiser sat in an alley across from the suspect's home.

"What", Cody grumbled rolling over under his seatbelt, "Did they move?" Chris pulled out his binoculars and inspected the windows across the alley. No movement at all. They must have left overnight. He started the car.

"I think they left--let's check the airport just in case," Chris slowly rolled the vehicle past the house and onto the main highway.

Cody, his scruffy brown hair falling into his eyes as he slowly woke from his dreamy state, sat uneasily in the passenger seat watching the cars huddle closely around them in the morning traffic. The morning was humid and muggy, almost suffocating if the windows had been rolled down. The air conditioning provided a slight relief. Cody grasped blindly for his coffee cup and took a long, slow sip of the ice-cold thick fluid.

"We need more juice," Cody said slurping down the last bit of the liquid, "and I'm not flying the plane this time."

Chris sat behind the wheel, one hand on the wheel, the other on the gear shift, starring into the sea of cars. If their targets had fled, they'd be long gone by now.



Decided to rewrite it...


(Last edited by Zabuza on 05-24-05 05:32 AM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 05-21-05 02:17 PM Link
Hmn... mildly intriguing. Please do continue, I'd love to see where you are going with this one.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 05-26-05 11:03 PM Link
He sat in his office high on the top floors of the TMC building watching tiny dust particles float and frolic in the light streams piercing through the protective glass windows surrounding his room. The orange light filtering from two of the three suns slowly worked its way through the room trying to occupy the realms of darkness. He leaned back in his chair watching the sleek hyperjets zip by on their way to the aero/spaceport, birds looping around the far-off elken trees on the hilltops of Erdu. The room was entirely too quiet, if not for the small tapping he heard behind him. He rose from his chair and walked towards the window, his shoes tapping lightly on the polished wood floor, stopping face to face with a special ops agent attached to the window. He pushed his blond hair out of his eyes, licked his lips, and touched a contact near the window separations before walking back towards his large glass desk.

The room fell silent and dropped into darkness as the large tritanium shields deployed over all the windows simultaneously. The agent pushed off the window just as the gates began to fall, pushing herself off the far edge of the building floating on the updrafts generated by the valley and the surrounding buildings, flying towards the ground over two hundred floors below.



Rewrite again, see below.



(Last edited by Zabuza on 10-14-05 05:14 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 05-27-05 01:13 PM Link
Wow, another rewrite. Now I am really intrigued. Is this another substory of Paradox Island then?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 08-11-05 07:13 AM Link
I lost the train of thought for this story. So, it's more of a dead start...
MisturMoogle

Thief








Since: 02-02-05
From: U.S.A.

Since last post: 6515 days
Last activity: 6137 days
Posted on 08-29-05 02:26 PM Link
Dont you hate it when that happens? You get all into it and stuff and bam, you just loose interest. But its is really good. Let usknow if you decide to start righting again.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 10-14-05 02:11 PM Link
I write all the time, the problem is getting something for Juice. I just keep losing my train of thought. Damn it!


[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


...To be continued...


Creative Commons License


This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:53 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 10-15-05 03:28 AM Link
Wow, it is amazing just how drastically this story changes everytime. I like the way that this one is going though... and now the title makes a bit more sense. I do hope you write more on this.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 10-16-05 05:24 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:54 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 10-21-05 02:49 AM Link
Ah, a way to work in the Prius, nice touch! I just find that whole thing rather humorous with him just killing the guy and so easily making him cease to exist. That is talent!
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 10-23-05 09:18 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:55 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 10-25-05 02:11 AM Link
Filler Kitty post... now post more or be forever doomed!!
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 11-15-05 08:29 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:55 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 11-16-05 01:25 AM Link
Oh dear... this shall be interesting. I think it is funny how you have Ed getting distracted by the Japanese car all the time, especially since I've seen people do that.
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 12-20-05 07:24 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:55 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 12-26-05 03:34 AM Link
Oh dear, the police are after him now... this is going to get really interesting... write more!!
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 07-31-06 09:29 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:55 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 08-08-06 04:01 AM Link
So she has a problem with her father, huh? Interesting. But why would they not give him back his knife if the only blood on it was his? That makes no sense. Can they do that?
Stitch

Roy Koopa
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 964 days
Last activity: 964 days
Posted on 08-24-06 08:59 PM Link
[ ENTRY TO NANOWRIMO, POSSIBLY. ]


(Last edited by Stitch on 11-03-08 02:55 PM)
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 130 days
Last activity: 130 days
Posted on 08-29-06 04:14 AM Link
Hmn, interesting... but what did he do with the glock?

Hopefully there is a good explaination coming up as to how the CIA is involved. Yes?
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