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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Love is blind, deaf, and dumb |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable          Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| I love a person who some of you know, and those that know him know who I mean. I love him more than I ever thought possible after my ex left me. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile... he is a wonderful person; and he loves me for who I am. What I hate about myself, he loves, what I like he adores. He's the sweetest guy I've ever known, and the most insane.
He broke up with me today because he broke my trust and developed feelings for another girl. He said it was not fair to me to stay with me because it would make it all a lie, everything he ever said about not hurting me and everthing. He never wanted to hurt me, never thought he would. But he fell for her, and he kissed her. She's taken, and she's staying with the one that she's with, though she likes him back. So he is lonely and miserable now, and will be for sometime, and he says that he deserves it. I'm handling it okay. My friends are wonderful for their support, and so is he for not shunting me out of his life like the last one did. It hurts though. It hurts in so many ways that I cannot possibly begin to describe it. We are still friends though, best friends really... and for that I am grateful. At the moment though, I am mad at love. Horribly, terribly mad at love. She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again She lay beside me but she'll be there when I'm gone Black heart scarring darker still, yes, she'll be there when I'm gone Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 664 days Last activity: 473 days |
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| Oh sugar, I'm sorry. Truthfully, there's not much to be said that I haven't said already on LJ.
He was honest. He still loves you. He knows what he did was wrong, unfair, stupid and everything else that he's been saying it is. You've learned what love is. Now love some more. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| For now I want to take a break from love. I still love him... and I don't think that I will be ready to move on for a bit this time.
When I got dumped last time my thoughts went quickly to him. I even joked with my ex that night saying "I could always date Jayarre". This time though, no one springs to mind... not a single person. Everyone else available annoys me in some way. At least I'm not holding to delusions of him coming back though. For now we're just having a hard enough time trying to get used to not kissing each other... it's not easy. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 664 days Last activity: 473 days |
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| Well when I said that I didn't mean, look for it now. Just don't shut down and be an emotionless machine like some we know. They got screwed in relationships, but think that you can still go on and beat these heartbreak demons.
I have a joke for you. A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they see a little boy. The priest declares, "Let's screw him!" And the rabbi says, "Out of what?" You better be laughing on the other end. Else you're in for a pretty mean huggin'. 
I'll see about making it to Anime Cult tomorrow. In the meantime, do take a break. A serious one. Do some soul searching, pick up a hobby, make new friends. You're strong and can bring the world to it's knees if you have to. Score a few points, live a little, otherwise there won't be much to brag about in the lockerroom. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| Oh that was wrong... horribly wrong. Sides hurt from laughing.
Yeah... I've never given up, unlike some we know. I was actually having a conversation with Kaijin the other day and recaped my horrid love life, and he actually seemed surprised that I didn't give up long ago. I don't think I could even if I wanted to... I couldn't before when I tried. Well, new friends seems to be happening with the addition of newbies to Gaming club. I just hope he stops being so touchy... you'll probably see him if you show up at club tomorrow.  |
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WhiteRose Warrior Sailor Delerium Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.  Since: 08-17-04 From: The Dreaming Since last post: 4482 days Last activity: 5186 days |
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Well I was ther for you Elara and still. I don't think there is much else I can say except I'm sorry I feel your pain. YOu have my number, AIM adress, homes address, e-mail, and cell number if you need to talk. Meanwhile, I will kidnap you to Rosarito (as I was planning anyways) and we can scare the inhabitants along with GuardianOni and Pockets. For tomorrow, bending you body in impossible ways and using muscles you never knew existed, will take your mind off things.  See you tomorrow. |
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GuardianOni Shaman  Since: 09-07-04 From: The dark path Since last post: 5871 days Last activity: 5330 days |
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| Call me if you need anything. Got it?
I will always be around if you nedd me. Other than that, be careful. You are in a bad emotional way right now. Don't do anything rash. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| I'm not going to do anything rash. The thought flashed in my head (as it often does when I'm really upset) of going back to the knife, but I won't, I know better... and he said that if I did he will mimic me and do it too... and I don't want him starting cutting because of me, so I'm not doing anything.
The only rash thing I am tempted to do right now is buy a new backpack and burn my old one because it is an evil piece of shit that broke on me again.
All I ask is that no one hate him for this, he's doing that well enough on his own... that and he fears Oni hating him. |
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Kaijin Surohm Living the dream  Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 1707 days Last activity: 894 days |
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| MAD HUGGLES
I'm so sorry, El >.< Geeze, It almost feels like this is partly my fault, after you re-capped all thoes stories to me, just to try to make me feel better >.< So sorry! |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| It's not at all Kaijin. Though I do find it highly ironic, don't you?
This whole thing is so fucking ironic! |
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Kaijin Surohm Living the dream Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 1707 days Last activity: 894 days |
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| I wish it wern't, El, I really do >.<
I'm always around to talk. Just lemme know when you need to. |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5104 days Last activity: 1414 days |
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| Heh, I'm going through something along the lines of what you are, it's jus tnot mein love that it is...Let it get to you. Let it piss you off. Denying your true feelings will only prolong the inevitable. And make it harder for you to move on. | |||
Benja Battering Bird Since: 08-15-04 From: none of your damn business Since last post: 536 days Last activity: 536 days |
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| Oh man, what can I say, there is nothing i can say that others havent already said, my heart goes to you, you know that. | |||
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| My true feelings are that I love him and don't want to let him go. My true feelings are that he needs to realize that if he ment the words when he said them, then they will never be hollow or a lie in my eyes. He still loves me, anyone that has seen how much he's beating himself up over this knows that, and all I want is my boyfriend back.
And most of all, my true feelings are that I wish we had never met her or her fiancee or their friend. No matter how cool they are, I wish more than anything in the world that we had never met them. |
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Benja Battering Bird Since: 08-15-04 From: none of your damn business Since last post: 536 days Last activity: 536 days |
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| Things happen for a reason, maybe this one wasnt mean to be. | |||
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 130 days Last activity: 130 days |
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| I don't know what it is, but I know that this isn't the way I wanted it to end, and I don't think he should just throw it all away because of one dumb mistake. I've done worse in the past, and I know that this is very much like my last relationship... but I really feel like this one is worth saving.
It's really hard to explain why, but I really think it is. |
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