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venomouslobster Scarfy          Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6328 days Last activity: 5576 days |
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| THIS IS THE DEIFICATION OF MADNESS!!!
due to overwhelming interest in my Pseudo-faith i have elected, as Grand Psychopomp of the Erisian Movement, to post here for all you some of the core tenents of our madness... (disclaimer: erisians do not take their religion seriously...infact it may or may not turn out to be a practical joke) Some Exerpts from the PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA: POEE is one manifestation of THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY about which you will learn more and understand less We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns, and similar maniacs who are intrigued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her Doings THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF) The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 weeks & 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down. KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH! I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm. II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System. III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns). IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub. V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads. IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED. THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN MOVEMENT The Revelation Just prior to the decade of the nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik was alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first acid trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers, Viet Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the comparative quiet of the late nineteen- fifties, just before the idea of RENAISSANCE became relevant.... Two young Californians, known later as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping coffee at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's problems. This particular evening the main subject of discussion was discord and they were complaining to each other of the personal confusion they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of discord," said one, "and all other problems will vanish." "Indeed," said the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion." First I Must Sprinkle You With Fairy Dust Suddenly the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence enveloped them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding flash of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova. Then vision returned. The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke for several minutes. They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen like statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball was steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that it had been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally unable to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of suspension, and one noticed that the clock had stopped. There walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about the muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural majesty. He carried a scroll and walked to the young men. "Gentlemen," he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse orbit? Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk? And what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's Law?" He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE!" And with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin- yang with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And then he exploded and the two lost consciousness. ERIS - Goddess of Chaos, Discord & Confusion They awoke to the sound of pins clattering, and found the bowlers engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making coffee. It was apparant that their experience had been private. They discussed their strange encounter and reconstructed from memory the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they searched libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed to uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and Technocracy. It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the apple that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks as Eris and to the Romans as Discordia. This was on the fifth night, and when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid woman whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity itself, and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and universes. Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and rainbows manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and gentle voice: I have come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My consciousness left man, that he might develop himself. I return to find this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear and by misunderstanding. You have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in them, your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and painful, your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun. I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. During the next months they studied philosophies and theologies, and learned that Eris or Discordia was primarily feared by the ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of chaos was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a negative. "No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded, "they have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of disorder was every much as significant as the principle of order. With this in mind, they studied the strange yin-yang. During a meditation one afternoon, a voice came to them: It is called the Sacred Chao. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein you will find anything you like. Speak of Me as Discord, to show contrast to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of Syadasti: 'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember that there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further information, consult your pineal gland. "What is this?" mumbled one to the other, "A religion based on The Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!" And with those words, each looked at the other in absolute awe. Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump up and down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And amid squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed the other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they declared themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that may turn out to be. The law of fives POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of Omar's sect. And POEE also recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos Dr. Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria. The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL THINGS HAPPEN IN FIVES, OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE SOMEHOW DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5. The Law of Fives is never wrong. ON PRAYER Mal-2 was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to Eris. He replied with these words: No, we Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort has listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted with, say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting the entire village wiped out in a torrential flood. THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation as a trouble maker.* This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and on the day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left to be alone and joyously partake of a hot dog. Now, three of the invited goddesses,*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because of the inscription. And they started fighting, and they started throwing punch all over the place and everything. Finally Zeus calmed things down and declared that an arbitrator must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and all agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was Paris because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the others by going early and offering a bribe to Paris. Athena offered him Heroic War Victories, Hera offered him Great Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman on Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted Aphrodite's bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed. As she had promised, she maneuvered earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (the Helen) then living with her husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the Trojan War is said to be The First War among men. And so we suffer because of the Original Snub. And so a Discordian is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns. Do you believe that? *** Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know the Law of Fives. Onwards Christian Soldiers, Onwards Buddhist Priests. Onward, Fruits of Islam, Fight till you're deceased. Fight your little battles. Join in thickest fray; For the Greater Glory, of Dis-cord-i-a. Yah, yah, yah, Yah, yah, yah, yah. Blfffffffffffft! |
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Stitch Roy Koopa Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!  Since: 08-20-04 From: California Since last post: 934 days Last activity: 934 days |
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| I am as much intrigued by your pseudo-faith as I am intrigued by my much followed hacker ethics. Please, preach on more, oh Pope of the Hecklers of the Puritans... | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6328 days Last activity: 5576 days |
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| A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES? "O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!" WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL. "I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe." WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? "But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates it." OH. WELL, THEN STOP. At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species. |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....  Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6109 days Last activity: 6049 days |
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O.o I didn't get to read all of it, but this is seriously interesting. Is this actually the text that the Discorians go off of, or are you just making it up as you go along. With a religion of this faith, it doesn't seem entirely against your religion to make up a text.  |
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6328 days Last activity: 5576 days |
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| it is true that you can make it up, however these are all exerpts from the Principia Discordia where you may read online here http://www.ology.org/principia/body.html | |||
Jedi Master Desroth Priest  Since: 08-24-04 From: Macomb Since last post: 5270 days Last activity: 4709 days |
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| wtf? this is the weirdest religion ever dude. when you grow up, you should become part of the Liberated Anarchist political group. So, are there any punishments in this principle? like if you break a law, do you get wipped, cut, smacked? all good religion need some sort of punishments for rule breaking. also, this seem almost like its wicken, by some of the principles stated here. its just how its all worded that make it sound like that... if this could get more of a following, it would be a great religion for hackers and goths.. | |||
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venomouslobster Scarfy Since: 05-03-05 From: california (knows how to party) Since last post: 6328 days Last activity: 5576 days |
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| um...what? wow....wait are you being sarcastic? well anywho let me address your ...questions...if you are serious (but i will if you arent serious)
Firstly: i am grown up Secondly: there are no punishments, unless you feel you need some sort of punishment for whatever you like...you see there ARE NO RULES Thirdly: it has no affiliation with wiccanism or paganism....unless the respective discordian society member would want it to....and wiccan doesnt have a "k" in it... Fourthly: discordianism has an enourmous following and has been gaining popularity since the sixties... fifthly: for all i know it is popular among hackers and goths, but i would hope that an enlightened erisian would be beyond labeling themselves...unless they found it wryly amusing to do so (Last edited by venomouslobster on 05-04-05 10:07 PM) |
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