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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - It's amazing how age can effect one's feelings. |
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent          Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1696 days Last activity: 1696 days |
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| So, my step dad is moving out. While I was at work, him and my younger sister apparently got into a huge argument. Instead of handling it maturely (do adults ever?), he made my Mom choose between him or her; either kick out my sister, or he was leaving.
Obviously, my Mom chose my sister. When my biological father had left when i was five, things were rough. We lived in the ghetto, ate spaghetti (usually with no sauce) every night, and my Mom was never home for us to really see her because she worked two jobs. In other words, she busted her ass and went without food for days at a time to make sure we were okay. She still stands by that today, and would never get rid of us, no matter how much we may piss her off. My step-dad went through with his plan and is now gone. He's supposed to come back tonight to get his shit and yell at us a bit that it's our fault, but I don't plan on being here. Fuck him. If he can't act mature about the situation, i don't need to waste my time on him. Which leads me to question my feelings towards this. Before (I mean, i was only 5, but still), I was upset. I cried my eyes out when my Father left, because he could never do any wrong. Now, I'm just pissed. I don't see how someone could do that to their family. How can you say "I love you guys" as you're walking out the door because of an argument you got in with a 16 year old girl? Me being pissed might also have to do with the effect on my life this is having, to be honest. My Mom doesn't want me to because she thinks it isn't fair, but I have to help pay the bills. Otherwise, my family is screwed. So i have to work all of the time and maybe pick up a second job. On top of this, I might have to drop out of college because we can't afford it along with everything else. So I kind of feel like my future just got fucked up because some asshole couldn't set his pride aside and provide for his family. Fuck him. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 634 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| First off, your mother kicks ass.
Secondly, your step-dad seems like an asshole. Third and finally, you're going to be OK. You're still young and things will work themselves out. Don't give up on college. I know things will be tough, but you definitely don't need the financial aid of a total prick who demands a mother choose between her own child and him. |
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1696 days Last activity: 1696 days |
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| 1) Yes.
2) Yes. 3) C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER. I don't think I really have a choice in the matter. I mean, we can't afford for me to go to college. I'm not giving up and I'll try my hardest, but it seems very unlikely. I know I'll be okay, but things are just looking grim.  |
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Xeoman Ball and Chain Trooper Administrator  Since: 08-14-04 From: 255 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 76 days |
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| I'm going to be a little blunt here Phoenix, but you're 18. College is going nowhere, it'll always be available. It's not a race and never will be. I'm 23 and still bouncing around it with no degree and it doesn't bother me that much anymore.
If you do end up having to work a lot for awhile, I'd imagine you'd maybe be able to save up some money on the side, which could probably be used for school or whatnot sometime down the road. I wish you the best. |
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Phoenixocracy The one true Xeodent Since: 01-08-10 From: Xeomerica Since last post: 1696 days Last activity: 1696 days |
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| Being blunt is usually the best form of advice. I just feel like college IS a race. Lol. I want to get it done immediately.
Thanks, Xeo |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 634 days Last activity: 442 days |
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Originally posted by Spiral King Exactly! I'm 26, and - fates willing - I'm graduating in May, double-majoring in journalism and American studies. I know I've felt like shit about not getting done earlier, when I felt like everyone else I went to high school did (believe me, MOST of your graduating high school class will not even go to college, so be proud of what you're doing no matter how long it takes you). Just don't give up on going, even if you can only afford a class here or there. |
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Belial Bazu Since: 01-29-05 From: New Zealand Since last post: 4364 days Last activity: 3979 days |
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| It's very admirable that you're willing to give up so much for your family. I agree with everyone here about the college thing. I mean, being 23, switched my major twice... and I'm practically starting back at square one with premed. Another 8+ years! It's never too late to go, and you've gotta do, what you've gotta do. Family comes first. | |||
Cteno Super Shotgun Moderator Since: 01-11-05 Since last post: 92 days Last activity: 90 days |
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| While I have to agree with everyone else on that college isn't going anywhere... definitely don't forget about it altogether. Nothing is worse than wasting a few years in college and not graduating with something under your belt!
If it were me, I wouldn't give up on it entirely right off the get-go, I would look into what financial aide could possibly be offered and go from there. In some cases you wouldn't have to pick up a second job at all, depending on what the state could provide. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Your step-father is an asshole. You do not make that demand of someone, ever. And when he finally cools off and comes crawling back, your mom should slam the door in his face. I have never heard of a grown man acting so childish!
Honestly, she should file for divorce right now and have his shit waiting on the lawn to pick up. Like others have said, I am proud of you for doing right by your family, especially when your mother has already done so much. But like Gurren said, don't give it all up without first looking for financial aid. Have you filed for FAFSA yet? It paid all of my tuition and then some, and that could help, even if you can only take a class or two a semester. As for why you feel different than last time... well, I assume that a great deal of it is because this man is NOT your biological father, so there is less attachment. Also the way in which this occurred gives you every right to be angry. And then there is the age thing that you mentioned... you are more mature and better able to understand what is going on. I don't know the details about when your dad left or how your views of them have changed since you were five, but I would assume that they are not the same as they were back then either. Might I ask what the argument between your sister and step-father was even about? |
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Katana Dark Wizard \"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"  Since: 08-15-04 From: Philadelphia, P.A. Since last post: 1555 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| You don't have to drop out. Even if it's in loans, you don't have to drop out. Like everyone else has said, make it one class here or there even.
College isn't going anywhere like previously mentioned. I'm about to be 23, and I've been at this since I was 18. I'm currently not in school and am working a lot, but that's another story. And not because it's me and not you. The classes I need aren't available to me right now and I can't afford to take classes because I want to. Anywho...I'm assuming you don't wish to get trapped into loans, but if you're going to BCCC (I think we have talked about this before) then a loan for one or two classes a semester not only won't be a big deal, but you could probably pay them off over a summer. Or at least dent them so nicely that you could be able to work a little, go to college, and still put a few bucks a month on 'em here or there. Btw, BCCC is a GREAT school, so I'm actually hoping you'd be looking into that one as opposed to another. I did a semester there and am in love with the place. I wish I could have gotten a 4-year-degree there...but...talk to the school, whichever it is, about your situation. They'll know better than anyone if there's any sort of special program. Even if it's a nigh course or so. It'll take you longer this way, but look at it this way: You get to take care of your family, yourself AND take the courses that HAVE to be taken, no matter what your major is. That, in turn will give you more time to be sure about what you wanna do, that way when you're focusing on your career/major specific courses, you'll be able to stick with it. It's not how long it takes. It's that you do it, and you do it well. Get the most out of it. Things like that. We've talked before. I gotta get you to come out to play someday, so I can meet you in person. Maybe I'll make you and Cairoi come to a movie and I'll get you guys dinner. You're not alone in this. I STILL "live in the ghetto" and forthe record, a good substitute for spaghetti with no sauce is buttered noodles and ketchup. Whether it's good FOR you is another story. :p But all the same, you're not alone in this. And the fact that we live pretty damn close to one another makes me feel like our experiences could be similar enough that I could actually reach out and help you. Tell me to screw off if I'm being imposing, but I made a lot of stupid lazy choices admist the poverty and family troubles I've had to face, and I had no one to mentor me through them. If I can help you have that person that I didn't have so you can get through this and be okay, then the time it's taking me to figure things out and be "okay" myself is worthwhile. As for your step-dad and the age thing...you nailed it. Your dad left when he "could do no wrong." The uncommon denominators around here seem to be the people who DON'T grow up hardened to this kind of thing. |
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True Flight The One Since: 08-21-04 Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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Originally posted by Spiral King Point taken and thus the reason I dropped out and deployed... good money.. but... I really liked going and learning that's all about who I am. Don't give up on college until you actually have to and try to force your way through the semester too. I wound up with a lot of WFs for dropping out too late. |
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