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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Working out problems in life |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment.         Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6272 days Last activity: 6244 days |
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| Quite litterally.
This is mostly copied from my journal. But hey. I've been doing a little bit of exercize lately. It's good to help work out a lot of stress and tention and anger in my life right now, not to mention lose weight and get trim and sexy while doing it 
But yeah. I've been doing my best to find a perpose in my life again. One for me, or another that I can hold onto like I used to.. But yeah. Anyhow, I don't think too much while I'm out there, cept when I sit for a rest every 20 or so minutes. But still, it helps, and I do think about it a little while I run. Here's the adventure in a semi-coherrent form: Left just after 5:30 am JUST got back. It's 7am. Damn. Explored a lot. Ran all over that damned state park. Found a cool place with a natural spring I can drink from about 3/4ths through the run too  Okay, maybe closer to 5/6ths or 7/8ths really. About a half mile away, and that's after a few miles.... So yeah. I think I'm going to do this run every day this week. Good way to burn energy before crashing.
Also, I yell out in my low booming voice and hear it echo. "I. Will Not. Lose." And it says it back to me again and again. More to come after shower. (Part two, after my shower) Ran out to SPAC. Found that the bridge is closed. Which made me sad. So I decided to run laps around the parking lot. I mean hell, the lot isteslf is like almost half a mile long. Okay, maybe only one quarter or a thrid, still. Anyhow, I get to near the end of it, and then I see that there's an actual road off the side there. I's got a small barrier, butI can walk around it. So I did. And ran down teh road for about almost half a mileish. Well, down there is the guyser. Awesome. Which is where I was going nyhow. So I get to the guyser, adn decided to follow the path past it along the river. Did that, saw that it became harder to walk on. Mind you ths entire path is a wayv snow, that's completely smooth and covered in ice... So yeah. Oddest thing to walk on ever. Anyone wit an doubts about their balace shouldn't be going here, even walking. So I climb up the snowy hill to a different road. Follow the road up, and hell, it takes me to the other side of where the bridge entrance is. Cool. So I run back down the road, covered in a sheet of ice. Not flat ice, but snwy hills of ice. For like a quarter mile. It was insane. But I know how to run even wif I hve no traction at all. Inertia and directed force keeps you uptright even with no traction at all and your foot never has a solid grip. It's odd but cool. Anyhow... Go down the hill, the run up the highway where I came from (Up hill mind you now) And I get to a park type area. A good acre or two of snow. So I do some running dives and rolls, where you dive, roll, and end in a crouch facing to your left at 90 degrees, and bolt again. So I did that 4 times and ended up at the table again. Took a quick rest. Then got up and went back to the parking lot. From there, ran up to where the bridge is across the highway to go home, but decide to take a side path before unexplored. It crosses the river, and low and behold (walking along the fence line) I get to the other side of the bridge! So I get total free reign of where I wanted to go to in the first place at SPAC Run around there a while. run through the roman looking buildings and their out-door hallways, go to the middle of the pond (dry with some snow in it) and do some pushups... Then ran over to the SPAC itself, a giant ampitheater thing. I'll get pictures next time of it.
Then I got up and run around the roads in the state park and SPAC. This is when I found the natural spring built so that people can get the water from it in little fountain things Crisp clean good spring water, very refreshing. I'm so bringing a plastic cup with me nesxt time instead of freezing my hands 
From here, I ran back down a few roads and wound up where I could cross the bridge, and finally made the last half mile home. Time out : About an hour and a half almost. Spent about 75% of that time actually jogging too... So I'm like totally beat. But I feel SOO good right now... It's a good feeling you can only get after really working your body fairly long and hard. Anyhow.. Yeah, sorry for the long rant-story-time. Just wanted to share what it was
I'll take pics along the way next time
Um.. Yeah. That's all for now. So much is happening in my life right now, and burning myself out is about the only way I can handle it  |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6272 days Last activity: 6244 days |
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| *stretches*
[Warning: long winded rant aimed at relatively nothing] I hope I don't piss anyone off with these long pointless rants. It helps me just to rant it out I guess. Good for the mind. lowers my stress levels and what-not. Merh... Only was out for an hour today Still too tired from yesterday. Ran about a mile, did pushups and situps, then ran it in almost half mile increments for the next few miles... It's WAY too hilly out there to keep up more than that at this point.
Anyhow... Yeah... I'm going to a psychological evaluation in a few days. I'm really worried about it. They're looking at me for depression and stuff. It really sucks. I'm going to have to fight to stay in. What makes it worse is it's during the day. It happens to be on day 6 of mids, which is 7:30pm to 7:30 am shifts So like smack dab in the middle of my normal sleeping time.
Oh and it's a 3.5 hour drive away at that
So fun stuff there... Granted, nearly breaking down and crying in the middle of the night at work every day has brought it's fair share of attention. Especially being in the Navy. It's rather... Not looked upon too well officially. Granted, I've got ton's of good people around here trying to help me out. Which helps a lot actually. I really want my friend back. It's difficult trynig to cope with the changes that have been going on in my life over this last year. Trying to keep in contact with some of the people I've met while in the navy. Several of them I consider brothers, they were there for me last year when things went bad, and they've been the best of friends with me since I met them while I was stationed down in Charleston in 2005-2006. Other than that, work is aggravating. Done about all I can get done with the plant shut down as it is, and long 12 hour days for 7 days in a row really wears you down
But hey, at least I'm not exactly in charge of the electricians anymore. That's less stress to worry about. *Rants on for another hour about work before passing out* Anyhow. My goals for now are as follows, since I don't really have any superb life goal in mind yet: Lose another 10 pounds in two weeks. Go beyond just getting in shape, but super trim. By the time my birthday comes around (May 28) I want to be thin, muscular, and happy with how I look. Last birthday I had my life fall apart, both in my personal life, and at home. This has probably been the most painful year of my life. I want to make being 20 just the opposite. My new years resolution was to fix my life and be happy again. I want to be well on my way to that goal by my birthday. I'm really happy I've lost so much weight so far. over 10 pounds this last month, and I plan on keeping it up. Who knows. Maybe things will look up once I'm better looking Self confidence and health have a lot to do with it. And it's getting warmer outside now The snow is melting, so it's easier to run around and work out in the state park now.
Meh. Enough ranting now. If you're still reading at this point, I'm both impressed and sorry
*Wanders off* |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 88 days |
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| You should not put too much of how you feel about yourself on how you look, that is never a good idea. However it is good that you are keeping active and trying to get into shape. Keep that up, and good luck on the evaluation. | |||
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6272 days Last activity: 6244 days |
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| It's the only thing I really don't like much about myself. I wish my teeth looked a little better, and I were a bit more trim and muscular. Other than that, I like how I look really.
Beyond that, the only thing I don't like about my life is my life situation and all, but that's been old news for a long time. Thanks for the luck for the eval. It's been one hell of a mess getting everything in order for it. Friggin process in the navy sucks, since no one knows wtf to do, they keep passing the buck and I just get thrown along for the ride But yeah.. Getting evaluated for depression and whatnot I assume. Realy sucks. Especially since most who go to be evaluated are people who are trying to get out, I'm one of the few exceptions, so they're already pre-dispositioned against me
Either way, I just want to be happy with myself again, happy with life and everything in general. It's been such a long time
Which is why this excercizing rocks so much... I don't even think about anything except when I take a breather. Otherwise it's just moving, running, and listening to the music beat on in my ears.. All outside, in the open spaces, relatively alone and nice and quiet and sirene (sp?). Tomorrow I plan on exploring a bit more of the state park too |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6272 days Last activity: 6244 days |
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| Bought my plane tickets home for later this month.
Going home on the 19th, will be there on 20th at 2am. Leave there at 5am on the 23rd. Not a bad price, was 550 this time around. Lower than normal, but not the lowest. It's my mom's b-day on the 21st, so I'm happy about being able to be there for that
Other than that, my grandmother's got some internal bleeding going on left over from a few months ago.. So we're worried about that, we'll find that out hopefully by the time I get there, as far as what's the cause and what to do. I just have to make it near two more weeks till I get home... I've been crying so much lately, that my voice has been hoarse for the last few days I don't know how much longer I'm going to be like this, or how much longer I can keep going like this. I can't seem to change anything in my life right now, and I'm barely able to cope with it like this at the same time. A good friend of mine (who was there for me last year when everything fell apart) gave me a bit of advice. Essentially, just keep on throwing things out in front of me that I can wait for in the near future. This time around, it's go home. After that, I don't know. I'm absolutely dreading my birthday coming up next month too
[Warning, Rant below] Oh, and my eval was one of the worst experiences of my life. But I think I'm being allowed to stay in. That man was evil. He wanted to rip me out of everything, throw me in a ward, and pump me full of meds. And I know what that does to people, it just fucks them up and fucks their entire lives up. I was so scared he'd do that to me. He wanted to. Big fat old man who had a grudge against the world. He isn't even in the navy! He was a civilian outsider who knows nothing about the navy life here, or anything about me. He just made broad sweeping generalizations about everything, and tried to beat me down and twist my words into things that I definitely was not saying. And I couldn't even hardly defend myself, or he'd take that as conformation of me needing to be medicated and taken out of everything. All just because I'm still hurt my girlfriend left me at that
I'm really hating the navy here. It's pissing me off. I've got like zero friends here. Hardly any friends back home to talk to, and my family just makes matters worse with how they go about 'caring' for me They just make the pressure so much worse, it's aggravating.
I hate being alone so much... And here I am, thousands of miles away from anyone who actually cares
I can't even get a hug except for when I fly home
Ex wants nothing to do with me and I could dissapear for all she cares. Which hurts, because I don't feel the way she does. Some of my closer friends are playing a two faced game that's really starting to hurt me. My family is FAR too invasive of my life, and can't back off without putting me in a serious guilt trip, and I've lost contact with a few good friends who would be there for me no matter what. And I'm up here alone. Okay. I'm done ranting now. I have to go to work |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5062 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| Ok, planes suck, first off.
Secondly, this guy sounds like a genuine asshat. Try not to let him bother you. Letting mim get to you is was he wants you to do, if you playfully resist him, and joke with him, and act generally calm and as if this isn't a big deal, he'll stop. Seriously. |
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6272 days Last activity: 6244 days |
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Originally posted by White Didn't expect you to reply to this little rant-journal-topic-workout-stuff-thing of mine
Yeah, planes suck, but hey. I fly a lot and have flown a shit-ton this past two years now
And yeah, that guy: I just am putting that experience behind me. It was just the one time thing, and it's over. So I'm glad. I'm still in, I'm in the clear, and I'm still going to the councillor at the Fleet and Family support center, which is what I asked for in the first place that catapulted me into this mess in the Navy. On another note, our PFA was pushed off a month!!! *does a dance* So that's more time for me to lose more weight and gain more muscle by keeping working out! *flexes* Huzzah! Okay, not really I'm not that strong of a guy really, though I am bigger than about 85% of the other guys my age here at the base So combine size + a bit of actual muscle = one of the better off guys on base. (Legs and arms are all muscle really, just my stomach area is my weaker area which I have been working on. I'm just not much of a looker )
Sooo.. I'm essentially all packed now, and gunna run off in a minute and do some strength training Who knows, maybe in a few months someone will actually notice me for a change. Whole world might turn upside down if that happens, but ya never know (Last edited by Truth/Serum on 04-19-07 01:23 AM) |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5062 days Last activity: 1372 days |
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| Why would you expect me to not post?
And Working out works for most people, I'm just scrawny and lazy, so I dont' do working out. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 88 days |
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| Um... that was the worst psychiatrist I've ever heard of. Seriously, what the hell? But you passed evidently, so who cares? It's good to put that behind you, but damn what a douche! |
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