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| Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Dealing with suicide |
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....          Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6109 days Last activity: 6049 days |
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| Hey all... I'm sure we've all delt with people that at some point wish to take their lives. Or have even a few times ourselves.
I won't go into this too much, but I need advice on how to deal with someone like this. I would appreciate PMs from anyone that would be willing to listen or help. *Bows* thank you. Also, general pointers in this thread might be useful to anyone who is currently or will ever have to deal with this. |
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable  Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| Show them all the good things so they are forced to see that silver lining. Of course it is also dependant on the reason why they are suicidal. If it is because of some relationship thing it is a lot easier than if it is due to clinical depression or other mental illness. If it is something serious then you should convince them to seek professional help... if it is something minor then be there, listen to them (really listen), and do you best to guide them away from that cliff.
Of couse, if it is someone that just keeps threatening it all the time but would never really do it, then you can show blunt annoyance with them. I've had to do that before, and it did seem to work since it threw them into a shock which got them to realize what they were saying. You know, something like "you're not going to do it and you know it, you're better than that. So quit playing this stupid game and grow the fuck up!" That is what I have for now, if you want to give me more details about it feel free to PM me and then I might be able to give you something more precise. |
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Spartan Metal battleaxe Is back. Kind of. Since: 11-15-04 Since last post: 88 days Last activity: 77 days |
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| I personally...
when people call me I dont really treat them kindly I am blunt as of late...Usual answer from me "If you were gonna fucking do it you wouldnt have called me you would have gone and done it. but it seems that this is just a plea for attention...your wasting my time and yours...Life is shitty but giving it up is the cheap way out...." |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| I hate to be a bitch on such a sensitive topic for some people, but I'm really tired of the suicide topic coming up all the friggin' time. Especially since it's become so trendy to have issues.
First off, suicides happen because: 1) those who do it feel they are in a world they cannot control and the one thing they can is whether they live or die, thus they make the ultimate decision dictated by their own free will, 2) these people live in a world of "if only"s in which they think "if only I had more of this" or "if only I could be that" and they dwell on the way things should be in their eyes rather than the way they are and do not have a true grasp on reality, 3) they just haven't grown up. Look, whoever this person is, whatever you tell them they're going to go on about how hopeless they feel they are and possibly push you away. They're going to have to hit rock bottom before they realize anything and have that moment of clarity. And what's more when people do commit suicide it's when they're in the process of getting better; that's when you have to watch them. People who claim to be suicidal are often full of shit. Heck, were you to threaten his/her life, they'd be fighting you off as best they could to save what they've been claiming they want to end themselves in the first place. In the end, this requires tough love and several doses of reality. Send them to support groups where people who have actually attempted suicide are talking and crying their eyes out (here's some suicide hot-line numbers http://suicidehotlines.com/). Whoever this person is, their life can't POSSIBLY be any worse than those who live in third world countries--People who have to fight to survive and live off of the barest of necessities every day. Whatever despair this person is claiming to be in, they need to wake up. Fishing for attention (as most who claim impending plans of suicide are actually doing) through means of playing your sympathy is selfish and evil. |
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Logos Again? Banned  Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6104 days Last activity: 6194 days |
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| Struggle is the essence of life, so those disinclined to do so are most apt to suicide.
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Truth/Serum Cheep-cheep Continued Harassment. Since: 03-07-05 From: In pieces Since last post: 6283 days Last activity: 6255 days |
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| [off topic]
Logos, no offence, but that totally isn't constructive in any way to this thread. Nor does it answer any of the questions or help asked for up above. I would consider refraining from such posts, especially in topics quite as sensitive as this one. And I've noticed a trend with you across the board on this as well, though it's not my place to tell you, but I know you've been made aware of this. [on topic] As far as dealing with a suicial person is concerned, often it helps to hear them out with what they have to say. Being constructive, and trying to make them see the better side of things, as Crystle said above, can help a lot initially. Sometimes it's all people need. Long term however is a bit different. Actually finding a solution to their problems, even if it isn't the one the person is wanting, but as long as it's something they can work with, it can help. Though forcing them into something they don't want isn't good by any means either. Also, in dealing with the person, the source of their pain needs to be dealt with. Even if something can be done to help them, but they are still vulnerable and unable to prevent the same pain from coming back, aren't going to be okay for very long. They need a solution to the problem as well as a way to get better if they're going to be okay. Often people do one or the other, and try to brush off, cover up, or simply downplay the actual problem, to get the person to be better. In the end, while that helps short term, doesn't work out, and eventually, the same problems will rise back up if not constantly tended to. Anyhow, that's about all I got for now. I hope it helps some for anyone who reads this. Recently one of my buddys gave his girlfriend my phone number so she'd have someone to talk to, because she's tried to kill herself. First and foremost, we're trying to solve the source of the issues, instead of just providing direct support, because that's the most effective way to ensure she'll be okay. I hope it all works out, and hope that what I said above will be useful to someone else. *Hugs Jen and Crystle*  |
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Logos Again? Banned Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6104 days Last activity: 6194 days |
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| I don't believe in forcing my beliefs down other people's throats. If someone isn't acting out of normal character and wants to commit suicide, I could go on all day about how it's not a great idea, but in the end, it's up to them, not me. Biopower is something I disapprove of, and forcing people to live seems like a form of it. | |||
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Evo Red Super Koopa Watching you fall brings joy to my heart.... Since: 08-16-04 From: Oregon Since last post: 6109 days Last activity: 6049 days |
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| Hmm... I actually do disagree, Crystle...
If something is a medical depression, it can often be delt with easily with medication if that is something the depressed is willing to deal with. However, relational depression is so much harder for that person to cope with and it's frustrating as hell to have the patience to deal with it. At least for me. Anyway, at this point, I have tried both methods. I have listened to this person state the same things over and over.... AND I have told them to just go ahead and kill themselves. I don't know what to do. They seem to want help from me, but also be resisting any sort of logic. If they wanted to kill themselves, they would have done it. They just want and/or need attention, and my patience is running thin!!! I love this person to death, but I'm going insaaaannnneeee!!! I do agree with Rogue. I understand how a lot of people get depressed, but suicide is really a stupid answer. You see so many people (teenagers especially) That think because ONE person out of BILLIONS, TRILLIONS on this planet broke their heart that their life is over, and the world is doomed. They will never be happy again, yada yada yada. *slits wrists* I think love is the leading cause of depression, now that I think about it. Ugh. Love sucks. |
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Rogue If you're reading this... You are the Resistance Since: 08-17-04 Since last post: 633 days Last activity: 442 days |
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| The Buddhists have a thought on this. Since they continually hold to the belief that all things are impermanent, love, want, and need create suffering. So, in a sense, it is best not to partake in these things.
When it comes to the matters of a broken heart, I like to go with South Park's philosophy in which Butters had his heart stomped on by the Raisins girl. While crying his eyes out on the curb, he imparted this wisdom to a goth Stan and his new goth friends: Originally posted by imdb.com |
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Xeios You WANKER! Since: 08-16-04 Since last post: 5074 days Last activity: 1384 days |
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| Let them know how you'd feel if they killed themselves. That's been one of the main things stopping me from ever carrying out suicide when I was randomly depressed. I couldn't picture causing the people I care about and who care about me crying over me, especially if I was the cause.
that's all I have to say on the subject. |
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Logos Again? Banned Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6104 days Last activity: 6194 days |
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Originally posted by Rogue "Do not want" is more than a meme, you see. |
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Leon D. Sagara Zombie Tarma HELLO!!!!! ^_^  Since: 08-18-04 From: To Hell and Back Since last post: 5307 days Last activity: 4788 days |
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| LOL last time I Dealt with someone like that......I punched him in the face and said before he dies he has to beat me. ((he never did)) So he is still alive and has a son now and is rather happy. LOL fists are powerful tools when used properly | |||
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Elara Divine Mamkute Dark Elf Goddess Chaos Imp Penguins Fan Ms. Invisable Since: 08-15-04 From: Ferelden Since last post: 100 days Last activity: 100 days |
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| I meant that it is easier for you to deal with someone depressed because of a relationship than something clinical. Yes, clinical is easily treated with meds... but you cannot give them those. See what I mean?
But yeah... if they will not listen to logic, point it out to them. Tell them that you keep trying to help them but they seem to not really want your help because they do not even listen to what you are saying. There is only so much that you can do, and if they are not willing to even try then what is the point of you trying to help them anymore? Have them go talk to a suicide councilor on a hotline or something; but don't let yourself be dragged down by them. Incidentally, that was one of the funniest things Butters has ever said. |
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Makura Since: 01-22-05 From: The restaurant at the end of the universe.... Since last post: 5887 days Last activity: 5152 days |
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| Suicide is really a tough topic. I mean, is suicide ever justified? Maybe you should tell that to your friend. Tell them that you understand that they are having problems, but is killing themselves really the answer? Life hurts and everything, but if you're dead you're not going to be any happier. I do agree with Rogue, and Spartan, that the blunt apporach is good. Suck it up, they'll get over it. I know I'd be pretty damned depressed if my boyfriend and I broke up, but I wouldn't kill myself. And as far as your riend being depressed it's something they'll only get over by themselves.
I disagree however with what you said about Medical Depression some cases are too severe for medicinal aid. Hence the case of Danielle Steele's son. Who killed himself due to bipolar emotions. She wrote a book about it called His Bright Light |
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Logos Again? Banned Since: 07-24-06 Since last post: 6104 days Last activity: 6194 days |
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Originally posted by Makura Yes, it is. Simply put, rational people act as to make the choice that yields the greatest amount of utility. This maximization of utility is the only justice in this world. If suicide is the choice that yields the greatest marginal utility at every point, then it's the best choice. QED. |
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Panda_Man2006 Merchant Since: 03-24-07 From: Kawanakajima, Japan Since last post: 6338 days Last activity: 6328 days |
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| honestly......dealing with suicide is probably one of the easiest ways to do especuially if you know the human body well unlike others....that shall get kicked in the face for and for despising them as well....as in this world of humanity people call it all you need to do is talk to them or do somehting about it if they dont go with the flow then they can just die for whatever reason if they go along with it then they surely will live again until next time or later in the world when the man or women goes nuts on something that no other human being can understand | |||
Shard Goomba Duplicate account. Since: 09-09-06 Since last post: 6372 days Last activity: 6256 days |
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| -threadbump-
Depending on the person, perhaps suicide would be the best option. Sometimes there might be people who have destroyed their own lives beyond the point of them begin able to fix things, even with the help of others. Even if the incident in question is one that can be left behind, the fact that the incident happening, is something that will tarnish the rest of the person's life. Example of a friend of mine: I know one of my friends who lives far to the north, has had a horrible personal history. She has a huge scar across her side, where her boyfriend put a knife into her. She refused to have sex with him, then he tried to rape her, and then he tried to kill her. She took that knife out of her own body and then killed him with it in self defense. Later on, she was raped again several times by others. That's about all I know about that story, and the fact she can't have anyone taking any more pictures of her. She's absolutely gorgeous ( And happily married now mind you ) But she didn't even have pictures of her own wedding due to the emotional scars. I know she's been suicidal in the past, and just about every night for the past 10+ years, thrashes about having horrible nightmares about the past. Sometimes things like that, never go away. She's not suicidal anymore, but I know she's been through hell (far greater than anything I'll ever be in I'm sure) But when it comes down to certain people, it's possible that there are some people who cannot get over the past, and also who cannot actually live with it. Luckily my friend mentioned above has been able to live with it. Though there are issues with her spouse when the words 'suicide' come up, due to another personal story. I believe that in the huge mass of people we call humanity, that there could be certain people who simply cannot accept life after certain points. They haunt themselves with the past, because they cannot either accept it, or get on with it. Sometimes, to them, the only option is suicide. Some turn to drugs, and others to alcohol. But to them, they'll never be able to stop thinking about the past. Even when they try, say they dream about it constantly? Just like my friend does. What if it's something that can bring them to the point of tears, even at work? Or even when with friends having fun? Just one little thing that reminds them, and bam, they fall apart. What do you do then? Their friends may have tried everything. Even truly, honestly, good friends who love them to death, might not be able to do anything to reduce the pain. And sometimes the only option to end their own misery caused by their own mind, is for them to kill themselves. Is there another option for those people? Either living a life of pain they can't get their own head out of, or ending their own life because they've lost any will to live with it. It may be selfish of them, but really, what else is there to do for certain people? And dragging them out through all of it for a long time, and nothing gets better, all that happens is putting them through enduring pain, and hurting everyone else around them who cares. Is it really worth the pain? Which would be worse? The pain of them dying? Or the pain you'll have seeing them live a troubled life for the years to come? Maybe some people really are just better off dead. |
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