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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Santa is a Woman | | Thread closed
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User Post
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 2431 days
Last activity: 2326 days
Posted on 12-27-06 08:36 PM Link
 I Think Santa Claus Is A Woman...
 

 
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. It's as if they are all frozen in some kind of Ebenezerian Time Warp until 3 p.m. on Dec. 24th, when they - with amazing calm - call other errant men and plan for a last-minute shopping spree.

Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. (You might think this would send them into a fit of panic and guilt, but my husband tells me it's an enormous relief because it lessens the 11th hour decision-making burden.) On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. Add to this the fact that there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repoint bricks in the flue. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the "Ho Ho Ho" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men......... - Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy. - Cupid flies around carrying weapons. - Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance. As long as we have each other, good will, peace on earth, faith and Nat King Cole's version of "The Christmas Song," it probably makes little difference what gender Santa is.

I just wish she'd quit dressing like a guy!!!
 


 

 
Kyoku kun

Phan Phan
Where in the world in Aurora the Explora? Currently California!








Since: 06-19-06
From: Northern California

Since last post: 3370 days
Last activity: 2998 days
Posted on 12-27-06 09:28 PM Link
I have something to tell all of you... I am SANTA!

Okay... no! Bet'cha I fooled you!

I think your on to something though, the only thing that is "male like" about Santa is the pigging out on cookies. But hey, woman do that too (I would know).

It's just one of those things that will be left unanswered.
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-27-06 11:52 PM Link
It's sexism and plagarism mixed into one juicy thread!
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 2431 days
Last activity: 2326 days
Posted on 12-28-06 12:10 AM Link
Originally posted by Logos
It's sexism and plagarism mixed into one juicy thread!



Wow...

You just love to stir up trouble. First, it's a JOKE. A) No copyright, and B) It's a joke... I obviously didn't come up with it...

Second, it's a fucking joke! It's not like I'm being sexist. Besides, I'm a guy anyways. That's like a black man being racist against black people.
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-28-06 12:23 AM Link
Originally posted by Xander
Originally posted by Logos
That's like a black man being racist against black people.

So it's okay for a black person to act like a KKK member, a woman to act like a misogynist and so on? As to demean their own race or gender? Or is racism just okay with you? It wouldn't at all be right for me to say that santa can't be a woman since he's laid back and not anorexic, now would it?
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 2431 days
Last activity: 2326 days
Posted on 12-28-06 12:26 AM Link
Dude... Just SHUT UP. It is a fucking joke, and this is not the Debate Shrine. *wants to make some joke about this not being the Debate Shrine and you being banned from it, but refrains*

Oh, and you fail at quotes.
Kyoku kun

Phan Phan
Where in the world in Aurora the Explora? Currently California!








Since: 06-19-06
From: Northern California

Since last post: 3370 days
Last activity: 2998 days
Posted on 12-28-06 12:28 AM Link
Originally posted by Logos
Originally posted by Xander
Originally posted by Logos
That's like a black man being racist against black people.

So it's okay for a black person to act like a KKK member, a woman to act like a misogynist and so on? As to demean their own race or gender? Or is racism just okay with you? It wouldn't at all be right for me to say that santa can't be a woman since he's laid back and not anorexic, now would it?


Xander didn't say anything that harmed man kind!
I don't even think he made this!
It is just a stereotypical joke!
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 8 days
Posted on 12-28-06 12:32 AM Link
Seriously, knock it off now and quit baiting people.

Anywho, it does read like a long list of male stereotypes. However I don't think a woman would admit to the bowlful of jelly then any more than a man would... less of a chance really.
Banned
Banned








Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 4565 days
Last activity: 4565 days
Posted on 12-29-06 03:03 PM Link
Logos is such a cute little forum troll.

Maybe a woman's... uh... boobs... are like a bowl full of jelly? I have no idea.
DSMagnum

Woodsman








Since: 11-06-05

Since last post: 4773 days
Last activity: 4717 days
Posted on 12-29-06 05:34 PM Link
According to "The Night Before Christmas", Santa is a drunk.
Banned
Banned








Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 4565 days
Last activity: 4565 days
Posted on 12-29-06 05:59 PM Link
and a smoker.
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-29-06 09:40 PM Link
Originally posted by .SK
Logos is such a cute little forum troll.

Maybe a woman's... uh... boobs... are like a bowl full of jelly? I have no idea.

I'd illustrate the irony, but I don't think anyone would understand.


(Last edited by Logos on 12-30-06 12:41 AM)
Banned
Banned








Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 4565 days
Last activity: 4565 days
Posted on 12-29-06 09:50 PM Link
I don't understand why you'd even say that? T_T It was useless and kinda insulted everyone.

Please, explain how the boobs jello thingie is ironic?


(Last edited by .SK on 12-30-06 12:51 AM)
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-29-06 09:57 PM Link
Originally posted by .SK
I don't understand why you'd even say that? T_T It was useless and kinda insulted everyone.

Please, explain how the boobs jello thingie is ironic?

You call me a troll, and in the same post illustrate how sexist you are. And of course, that's okay because when you say it, people agree with you. But when I speak my offense at Xander's sexism, I get flamed. It would seem that all of you share the feeling that as long as you can get away with it, you say it. I, on the other hand, don't share your sexist feelings and am openly--and more interestingly--flamed for not being sexist, racism, or the sort, but for not conforming to a herd mentality.
Banned
Banned








Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 4565 days
Last activity: 4565 days
Posted on 12-29-06 09:58 PM Link
You get flamed because you disagree with absolutely everything that absolutelly anyone says.
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-29-06 10:16 PM Link
Originally posted by .SK
You get flamed because you disagree with absolutely everything that absolutelly anyone says.

That's just what I said, one gets flamed for disagreeing with what is popular.
[Edit] And get banned too, it seems.


(Last edited by Logos on 12-30-06 01:17 AM)
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 2431 days
Last activity: 2326 days
Posted on 12-29-06 10:46 PM Link
Originally posted by Logos
You call me a troll, and in the same post illustrate how sexist you are.


...

He said that maybe a woman's boobs could be like a bowl full of jello...

...
...
...

How is that sexist?
Banned
Banned








Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 4565 days
Last activity: 4565 days
Posted on 12-29-06 10:49 PM Link
Whoops... I meant to say Jelly and typoed and then you copied my typo... Sorry. ^^

Hard to win wars with no allies, Logos.


(Last edited by .SK on 12-30-06 01:50 AM)
Logos

Again?
Banned








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4796 days
Posted on 12-30-06 03:34 AM Link
Originally posted by Xander
Originally posted by Logos
You call me a troll, and in the same post illustrate how sexist you are.


...

He said that maybe a woman's boobs could be like a bowl full of jello...

...
...
...

How is that sexist?


I don't know, you should tell a woman that and see how they react.
FX

Zombie Marco








Since: 03-24-06

Since last post: 2431 days
Last activity: 2326 days
Posted on 12-30-06 03:42 AM Link
Originally posted by Logos
I don't know, you should tell a woman that and see how they react.



Being sexist is different than being insulting. If I say you're fat or ugly, is that sexist? No. So if you say that about a woman, it may be insulting, but most definitely not sexist.

EDIT: or stupid


(Last edited by Xander on 12-30-06 06:44 AM)
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Santa is a Woman | Thread closed



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