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Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - Competition Entry: Paying the Gallows | |
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GuardianOni

Shaman








Since: 09-07-04
From: The dark path

Since last post: 5603 days
Last activity: 5062 days
Posted on 08-11-06 02:42 AM Link | Quote
The sun had only raised enough to shine over the walls of the city, filling the large square with a silvery light. Despite the early hour there were many gathered around the platform in the center of the square. The gallows them selves seemed to absorb the light, remaining dark, and expectant.

The crowd grew as the sun rose farther into the sky, soon the sounds of ministerial interrupted the songs of the morning birds. And soon the atmosphere in front of the gallows took on that of a fair, or carnival.

The music, and laughter filtered down the streets and into the jail cell window reaching the ears of Evelina. The sounds of the joyous music seamed to stab at her heart. People happy, and laughing about the hanging to come. Hers.

She wasn't crying. That ended late last night. Sitting against the cold wall she simply felt the pain in her heart, and the cold dread in her belly.

The rattling of the keys in the cell door made her jump. The chains binding her to the wall clinking and rattling and she turns to look at the heavy wooden door, as it swings slowly open.

Four large, burly, hard faced guards entered. And the thin, grey, cold-eyed magistrate entered behind them. "It's time." He says in his cold and sneering voice.

The guards strode over to her and lifted Evelina to her feet. Removing the chains attaching her to the wall, they replaced them with manacles both on her wrists and ankles. And finally adding an iron collar to her throat. With the chain leash firmly held in the meaty hand of one of the guards she was led out into the cold hall, and into the street. They were met in the street by a dozen more guards, and flanking her in two columns, started to march her to the waiting crowd.

the music started to die as the first of her guards entered the square. The crowd parted as the escorts and their prisoner made there way to the waiting gallows. Evelina could see a large bare chested figure, with a black hood over his head standing upon the platform.

She could feel more tears welling up in her eyes.

The two columns broke away from her as they reached the platform. Making a ring around the gallows of armed, and armored men. Evelina, the four guards, and the magistrate ascended the steps on one side. The four guards brought her to the center to stand just in front of a waiting rope. And the robed magistrate strode forward to the front of the platform. The fresh sunlight making his crimson velvet robes look like flowing blood as he moved about.

"Good people," He spoke in his loud commanding voice that echoed around the now silent square. "Before you this morning is a criminal. Charged with heresy, and witchcraft, and a number of other crimes. And sentenced to hang." The last words brought calls of joy, and approval from the crowd.

The magistrate smiling in an almost leering fashion turns his eyes to Evelina. The silvery, early morning sunlight making her skin an almost marble white. And made her hair look as if it was set aflame.

Turning back to the crowd the magistrate made a 'hushing' gesture. Once the crowd was silent he spoke again. "This criminal has been well known, and hunted for a long time. And I know that you are all eager to see her hang. But we do have our laws, and it allows for anyone to pay a bail to set her free. Is there anyone here with the gold to set her free?"

Evelina's eyes searched the crowd. Blinking away tears she found the faces of her parents. "Mother!" She cried out, voice cracking. "Father!"

Her parents stared back at her. Her father made no motion, or sound. But her mother, faced screwed up in rage screamed back "You are no daughter of mine. I have come to see thee hanged!"

The crowd roared in approval.

Eyes burning with new, and uncontrollable tears she searched the crowd for another face. But, it wasn't there.

The magistrate motioned to the executioner. And the hooded man moved behind Evelina and started to tie the noose. Two of her guards held her shoulders while a third removed the collar.

The crowd jeered once more. And by the time it took the hooded man to tie it and slip it about her neck they were roaring for her death.

Once the noose was tightly around her neck the guards stepped back. Everything was set for her to hang.

Once more the magistrate quieted the crowd with a gesture. In the silence the footsteps of the executioner were unnaturally loud as the moved to the lever of the trap door.

"STAY THY HAND!" A voice rang out.

The gasp of the crowd was like that of a giant, struck dumb by a sudden blow.

Entering the square a knight, in full plate atop a large warhorse. Evelina recognized the grey enameled armor, and the deep blue sir coat of Sir Azrel Coldthorn. The knight who had finally caught her, and brought her to justice. The man she loves.

Tears blurred her vision, and obscured his face until he was directly before the platform. A face chiseled from stone, and eyes the blue of a clean river, fresh from a mountain glacier. And just as cold from time to time.

Her heart jumped to her throat at the sound of his voice. But as he came near, and she saw that his eyes were cold and hard, her heart sank deep into her belly.

"Sir Coldthorn." The magistrate greeted. "Do you wish to throw the lever yourself? This is unusual, but I know you were the one who..." His voice trailed away as Azrel turned his hard eyes upon him.

"You misunderstand your honor." He voice was cold, and firm. "I am here to pay her bail." This was punctuated but the loud bang as a sack full of coins landed upon the platform before the magistrate.

Evelina's eyes flew to his, and as he turned his eyes upon her she saw none of the ice that had been there before. "I cannot bear to see thee hang." Evelina was astonished to hear the slight quiver in his voice.

Tears flowing freely, she started crying openly. But now not out of fear.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 08-17-06 05:29 PM Link | Quote
Judges results, out of 10 points possible (Zabuza couldn't get time to read yours, so it's just Venomous and I):

Originally posted by venomouslobster

Grammar: 7
Spelling: 8
Plot: 10
Char:9
Description:10
Overall Creativity:10

This was everything i could have hoped for. It had a good plot, a consistant tone, inviting beginning, and a definite ending. The story was engrossing. The words were rich and powerful without being verbose. On the whole it was a delightful read.....penis joke.


Originally posted by Elara

Grammar: 7
Spelling: 9
Plot: 9
Character: 9
Description: 10
Overall Creativity: 10

The only real problem that you had was punctuation, other than that the story was wonderful. I loved the descriptions as well as the plot. The characters were well done as well. A truly excellent job!




(Last edited by Elara on 08-17-06 08:29 PM)
GuardianOni

Shaman








Since: 09-07-04
From: The dark path

Since last post: 5603 days
Last activity: 5062 days
Posted on 08-17-06 07:26 PM Link | Quote
Cool, glad to get what I did for this. Thanks to the judges for their time.

Grammer killed me on this. As usual. Oh well, I knew it would.

I wonder what Zabuza would have give me. Oh well, 3 point one way or the other. Close call. Congrats to Makura.

But if Zabuza could post his thoughts I'd like it.


(Last edited by GuardianOni on 08-17-06 10:56 PM)
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