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05-17-22 12:12 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Entertainment - A really really long rant I made about Advent Children | |
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Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 3636 days
Last activity: 3630 days
Posted on 05-27-06 01:06 AM Link | Quote
Final Fantasy 7: Advent children, The good, The bad, and the movie

Ok, from start to finish, im going to tell you guys about my little commentary about the movie...

THIS COMMENTARY WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

*Plays movie*

Oh FBI warning...this was already leaked on fucking Bit torrent...right...Next scene...

Oh, Japanese Text, too bad the english subtitles dosent tell you what it says...for all I know it could mean "FUCK YOU AMERICA, GO TO HELL! ROFLAMOANOLOLOLOL!"

Ok...Red XIII running out in the middle of the desert like at the end of FF7...not bad, not bad...CGI's look beautiful...Music is great....Flash....Let me guess what that means...498 years ago....Well that tells me alot....OH NICE Reno is in this one...Flying in the chopper, Gunshots....People dying....Elena! >.< ;;; Chopper flys away....awesome

The whole background story is extremely helpful to all the nubs who dont know what the hells going on before FF7. But then again, if you bought the movie because of the title "Final Fantasy"...then you had bad movie tastes, because I thought "Spirits within" sucked balls...But if you bought this movie because of FF7. Good job! :: Pats back :: Congrats, you already understand this movie....next...

ALRIGHT, the city of Midgar...well holy crap theyre rebuilding after Meteor almost crashed there? Hell if I lived there I would have moved to fucking Cosomo canyon...I mean, everyone knows that the world fucking hate midgar for using the lifestream for power...what the hell...Anyways, Geostigma...what a random ass virus they decided to put there...

Tifa is now at the 7th heaven bar...now, I thought 7th heaven got crushed? Well ok that tells me one thing, they rebuilt it....awesome...

*Square Enix presents*....Cloud seems to not like talking....ok, I can deal with that...OH WOW! Hes effected my the Geostigma virus Im betting....What a big-ass motorcycle hes driving...Cool....Now some guys are driving up in similar bikes, one kickes them down...Well damn, these guys look pretty pimp...And...WHY THE FUCK IS THE BIG GUY CRYING!?.....now hes not....wtf?

Oh here we go, motorcycle action...random deamons come out of the ground...and OH COOL! Cloud has 4 swords....WHAT THE HELL!!? I WISH I CAN MAKE MY BIKE DO TURNS LIKE THAT!...Mommy, I know what I want for christmas...I want a bike that can turn in an L andgle like its nothing going over insane speeds over 100+ MPH...

WHAT THE FUCK!? CLOUD GOT SHOT IN THE FUCKING FACE! AND HIS GLASSES GOT BROKEN!? No coma's, no major injuries or bruises...just...the Glasses break...wow...Go to Hell Square...

Ok, since when was Reno a wus? I remember him being all cool and preceise...Rude seems like Cairoi...Toatally bad-ass...and now I know who the wheelchair guy is...Oh nice, President Rufas...wow, obvious he diddnt get raped in the face enough by Emerald Weapon...And he has Geostigma, wow, his life must suck...And Shin-ra is still active after all what happend? You would guess that Shin-ra would stop what they were doing after Sephiroth came in raping everyone without vasilene...I mean Jeez...

Ok, Rufas explains, Cloud is acting....Emo? I thought he dropped that shit after he was recovered from his coma...Cloud + Emo = Go to hell...and it dosent mix in too good with Reno over there acting like a kid....But, Ill give it some slack, the movie is still putting me on the edge of my seat....

Kadadge in his gang kick Rno and Rude's ass...Elena and...wtf, Tsenge? I thought he died in the Temple of the ancients!? Oh wait thats right, the game diddnt really specify when he recovered...so NOW hes truely dead...obvious....

*Movie skips along...cool, Sephiroth, yada yada yada...*

All right, Tifa versus the big crybaby with the mad punch hes got...This ought to be awesome...

*Fight scene happens*

...no one is bleeding....? And nice touch on the ringtone...made me laugh...And that guy's cell phone isnt broken...and why are they asking him if hes cry-. Ok, WHAT A WIMP!

Speaking of Wimps...why the hell is Cloud acting all depressed...Oh maybe thats why....The Geostigma...

RANDOM FF8 MUSIC TIME......:: Dances back and forth a bit :: Ok, cool...kinda romantic this scene is...awesome...Wolf-thing again...what the hell...

CLoud wakes up, not explaining much...Still all emotional...Retarded...Grow the hell up Cloud. And dont give up and die...If you can kick the shit out of Sephiroth as a God, then im sure you can speak with Aerith with a lil somethin' somethin' and get healed up...AND YES YOU ARE FIT TO HELP PEOPLE! YOU HELPED SAVE THE WORLD!!!!

Jesus Square...I bet Enix made cloud such a pussy...Heres a tip, EMo was no longer cool untill 2004 hit...Your a little too late on EMotional characters who cant believe in themselves...now shut up...lets watch more of this movie....

Ok, wow, Cloud can dodge bullets with a slight turn of his bike....No...He says hes not able to help people, but hes still carrying those swords and able to dodge bullets...

ALL RIGHT! VINCENT! I wonder where he got those cool powers! They werent in FF7... ...Moving on, Vincent has a sexy voice...nice job on his dubbing America...Close up on Cloud's eyes....he dosent have the "Mako Eyes" every character tells you in FF7....they look like regular blue eyes to me...One would think they would glow or something...but no, They look sky blue...

*Cloud still being Emo, Vincent gives him some words of wisdom, Haha Vincent dosent have a phone...CLoud finally gets his act together...awesome* **Two Scenes later **

Oh finally, something I wanted to expect...people getting hurt...Monsters are dragging the civalians around town by the foot...but noooo, they diddnt want to harm any of the main characters...Nice...:: Slams fist on table :: WHY!?

Once again, Why is Reno acting like such a newblet? He keeps looking back at Rude as if getting some type of motivation...why the hell did the Turks hire such a wimp.....?

*Dilly Dally shilly shally...Jenova, bahamut, uh huh.....cool*

AWESOME! Barret! Vincent shooting Bahamut in the face, Cid spearing him as well....Cait sith...Riding on Red XIII? What ever happend to the moogle? Anyways...Yuffie looking nice...Wow, this movie is starting to seem like "The Matrix"....

Barret: "Where the hell you been'?"
Dale: "Prolly talking about himself about how he cant help people....Oh wait hes kicking Bahamut's ass now...awesome"

OH! RUDE IS NOT IN HIS WHEELCHAIR! He must have SERIOUSLY tell what would happend in the future for him to do that...

Oh yeah here we go, everyone helping cloud up...Bahamut shoots Giga Flare at him, Cloud breaks through...but what the hell happend to the flare?

*Rewinds*

Oh you can barely see it but it desentagrates...By Cloud? Damn, that thing looked like Goku's spirit bomb...I dont remember Cloud putting an effort to burst that thing...he just...went through it....and it desentragrated ^.^ ;;;

Ok, President Rufas falls....Tseng and Elena resuc-...Wait a miunite...I THOUGHT THEY DIED!?

Once again, Square Enix gets a big: "WHAT THE FUCK" scream from me....

*Yada Yada, Unreal motorcycle fighting scenes...Reno and Rude kill themselves by creating a big...flashy boom....Why cant they just lay the bombs down, fly on that nice heleclopter....and when they see them coming out...BOOM!*

*Couple of scenes pass, Kadadge turns into "Dun dun dun....Sephiroth"...Fight scene happens, Extremely bad ass....*

Something popped up in my head...Why is everyone wearing the red ribbons around their right arm? Tifa had it, Barret I THINK had it...Cloud has it...all the geo-stigma children have it....Only people who dont are the bad guys, Red XIII, dead characters, and Cid....Whats the point of the ribbon?

*Cloud kills sephiroth*

Omnishash-but-more-matrix-bad-ass....What a nice way to kill Sephiroth and send him back to where he came from....Oh but hey, at least Cloud is BLEEDING from a WOUND FINALLY! But hey...he stands up, kills Sephiroth...and wow, was still able to use that arm after getting stabbed by it....so its cool....

Rufas is back in that wheelchair...I thought he cant walk....Grrr.....And I thought Reno and Rude died.....MAJOR GRRRR!!!!!

Cloud gets shot...Wow....I thought the other two wusses were blown the hell up by the explosion...and if they are so weak, how in the hell did they get to where Cloud was....

*8 Minutes and 21 seconds later*

OH CLOUD SOMEHOW SPAWNED AT CHURCH! AND WHAT IS WITH THAT WOLF!?

*Movie plays...the movie ends...*

:: Sajin sits there with a blank stare ::

I admit the movie was georgous...but...well....You get my Rant....Dont get my Idea about me hating it or anything, I thought it was good...But I had to Rant about the movie....




(Last edited by Master Sajin on 05-27-06 04:14 AM)
Shuyin

Baron of Radical








Since: 08-19-04

Since last post: 3044 days
Last activity: 2950 days
Posted on 05-27-06 01:34 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Master Sajin
Something popped up in my head...Why is everyone wearing the red ribbons around their right arm? Tifa had it, Barret I THINK had it...Cloud has it...all the geo-stigma children have it....Only people who dont are the bad guys, Red XIII, dead characters, and Cid....Whats the point of the ribbon?



Most people assume its in remembrance of Aerith. I personally think that the red ribbon is represents the fight against Geostigma, like the yellow ribbon and cancer.

Or maybe they're part of the Red Ribbon Army? omfgbbqch1qen
Goku!
Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 3928 days
Last activity: 3552 days
Posted on 05-27-06 02:33 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by "You"
Ok, since when was Reno a wus? I remember him being all cool and preceise...Rude seems like Cairoi...Toatally bad-ass...


-.- Wow, that was gratitious. Anyways, good rant, but I was too mystified by the movie to care about it's flaws.

The wolf is Zack.

They just maimed Tseng and Elena, not killed them.

And Rude and Reno did get out of the way. The bomb was mainly flash.
Shuyin

Baron of Radical








Since: 08-19-04

Since last post: 3044 days
Last activity: 2950 days
Posted on 05-27-06 03:13 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Cairoi


The wolf is Zack.



WHAT!? Since when? How is that possibly confirmed?
Bitmap

#1 Enhancement Shaman US Ravenholdt








Since: 09-05-04
From: His Laughin' Place

Since last post: 3636 days
Last activity: 3630 days
Posted on 05-27-06 03:46 PM Link | Quote
And why werent Elena and Tsenge a part of the movie? Wow, if they were just mainged, that would have pissed alot of people off like it did me...

"Swear on these"

:: Throws cards ::

Wow, there was no fucking point in that...=.= ;;;

Cairoi
This isn't about you and your loud mouth,
This is about me and my fucking beard.








Since: 08-29-04
From: PA

Since last post: 3928 days
Last activity: 3552 days
Posted on 05-27-06 11:07 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by §huyin
Originally posted by Cairoi


The wolf is Zack.



WHAT!? Since when? How is that possibly confirmed?


Cairoi.cairoi said that with 100% accuracy it was true.*

*Liable to be complete bullcrap.



that's what I thought.
Xeoman

Ball and Chain Trooper
Administrator








Since: 08-14-04
From: 255

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 1 day
Posted on 05-30-06 10:31 AM Link | Quote
I just hated this movie.

My little two cents.
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