I figure I'd post this with its own thread and discussion.
Though I respect the opinions of movie reviewers and such, this review just made my head hurt and what's more I ended up ranting about it in a friend's LiveJournal (she posted the link, I just raved about how bad it was).
So here's the link to the article: http://www.readmag.com/Reviews/xmen2.htm
And now here's my rant (Yes, I do realize how dorky and geeky I sound, but if you're going to knock something, know what you're talking about. Don't claim to be an expert and just end up sounding like an ignorant asshole like this guy):
Originally posted by Rogue First off, this guy cannot be taken seriously as a journalist. Not at all. If he wants to go on about the many flaws of X2, he should look into the flaws of his own article as well.
1) GROSS FACTUAL ERROR: The U.S. President in X2 was NOT portrayed by Pierce Brosnan, but by Cotter Smith.
2) GROSS FACTUAL ERROR: The character's name is not "Colonel Stryder", but "William Stryker".
3) It was explained at the end of the first X-Men movie why Logan/Wolverine was in Canada (not Alaska as the article put it), so nit-picking for 'Why the fuck was he there blah blah blah?!' is not a valid excuse for saying the movie is crap.
4) GROSS FACTUAL ERROR: Xavier doesn't have the power to stop time and I have no idea where the reviewer got that idea.
5) GROSS FACTUAL ERROR: The guard didn't have bullets as the reviewer points out, but that Magneto pulled the iron, that Mystique injected into the guard, from the guard's body and manipulated the tiny amount to help him escape his plastic and glass prison.
6) GROSS FACTUAL ERROR: It's Mystique, dumbfuck.
7) Nightcrawler doesn't go into other dimensions, but just one other one. This can be disputed as no one truly knows where it is he goes before he re-enters our own plane, but it's been hinted several times that the smoke left from his "bamf'ing" is brimestone smoke.
8) Nightcrawler is German. Alan Cumming spoke with an audibly German accent. Gambit is Cajun, but speaks French.
9) Pyro's (not Pyro Man) parents were never featured, nor mentioned. If I am wrong, you may correct me. And if the reviewer has a problem with all the little side-issues that were ever-present within the comic books (which he so claims to have read), then it's suggested that he not review a movie he obviously is not capable of understanding.
10) "Besides way too many cluttered and unresolved themes in the movie, it was also EXTREMELY disloyal to the comics."
I find this statement laughable, sir, as you have not been loyal to your own craft of conveying facts accurately, nor been right on most of the facts you've stated go on within a movie, in which I'm beginning question if you even saw it or are simply dictating a recounting of it by a 10-year-old with no recollection of proper grammar or diction.
11) "Sabertooth. I'm sorry, but I don't remember Sabertooth being a hot, busty Asian chick. In the movie, they have Wolvy's arch-nemesis be Lucy Lui with boob implants. What, they couldn't afford to put Vin Diesel in a fur coat?"
I don't even know where to start with this one. I think my head just exploded a little; this thing being riddled with so many GFEs. I'll simply say that it was Lady Deathstrike, not Sabertooth (who was in the first movie, played by Tyler Mane), and go onto the next one before I burn an ulcer into my already fragile stomach.
12) Jean Grey is Phoenix, not Firestar, and I don't know if you noticed, but she didn't die. Matter of fact, she's going to be in the sequel. I'm sure this was written before the storyline of the sequel was announced, but maybe this person just didn't realize why Singer kept showing us images of the water with something visibly flying beneath it.
13) Again, Nightcrawler was German, and on top of that was a priest. If one has to ask questions like "Wait! Wasn't this other character religious?" and so on, then maybe they shouldn't include it.
14) "Pyro Man. Now, I also remember that Pyro Man has to be totally flame in order to use his flame powers, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized -- PYRO MAN WASN'T EVEN IN THE X-MEN! He's from the Fantastic Four! WHAT THE FUCK! That is SO LAME. To make matters worse, they hint at the end that he's evil. Stan Lee, creator of the Fantastic Four, is rolling in his grave."
Oy. This one also hurts to look at.
First off, Stan Lee also created the X-Men and he is NOT dead.
Second, he's thinking of the Human Torch.
Third, Pyro was from the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants and whether they chose to include him in the school or not wasn't such an issue seeing as he went with Mystique and Magneto at the end, anyway.
15) "They turned the Game Room into this really cheesy observatory-type room where Dr. X puts on a helmet and can contact other mutants."
You mean Cerebro? Did the reviewer even see the first movie? Better yet, did he even read the comics like you say you have, throughout the article?
16) I'm not even going to touch the Toad comment.
17) "There are other sloppy mistakes, but I don't want to sound like too much of a comic dork."
You don't... you just sound like a jack ass.
18) "And if Halle Berry is going to come back as Storm, she better get buck naked this time!"
*runs off a cliff and dies*
This person needs to be hunted down and shot. I know there are some bad reviewers out there, but this one takes the whole damned bakery. Hell, there were things that I didn't even mention for fear of sounding too nit-picky at obvious non-truths.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, but that only stands if you can prove to be somewhat competent in what you're critiquing. I didn't attack the guy's opinions of the story, but merely the facts he presented.
I sincerely hope this guy wasn't paid (Oh wait, yeah I do. Gives me more hope of getting paid for my writing if a complete dolt like this can get a job). I mean, he claims in there several times about being a comic geek and so on, but all of his references are wrong. My guess is that this kid was 14 when he wrote it, submitted it to a website who thought, "Oh hey, flack! This'll get people pouring to our site to read a bad review and pass it along to their friends! Mwahahaha!"
I never thought I'd say this, but... my soul hurts.
(Last edited by Rogue on 01-22-06 12:55 AM) |