New link in the top of page "IRC Chat".
Register | Login
Views: 123648751
Main | Memberlist | Active users | Calendar | Last Posts | IRC Chat | Online users
Ranks | FAQ | XPW | Stats | Color Chart | Photo album
04-27-24 05:24 PM
0 users currently in Story Realm.
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - WTF | |
Next newer thread | Next older thread
User Post
Draken

Stone axe








Since: 08-26-04
From: Wouldnt you like to know

Since last post: 6066 days
Last activity: 6050 days
Posted on 12-27-05 03:09 AM Link | Quote
I walk in to a modern city looking for some one worthy enough to call enemy a sniper rifle on my back I call it Ramonth after a dragon I read about in a book. Then there’s the shot gun hanging like a sword on my thigh I call it Mostevilone after my old faithful nightmare in a game I used to play. Its been so long I cant remember what game was called. That’s not important what is important is my opponent I really need to find some one to kill.

I walk into a bar I know it sounds like and old joke but trust me it ain’t.
It’s also Monday morning I may have forgotten to mention that I sometimes for get while I’m telling stories any ways ill continue. oh right i also have an AK it new i dont have a name for it yet.

I look around there’s the bartender and the cigarette machine over in the corner I take out my shotgun and with a loud bang I blow the brains out of the bartender. I cock the gun and do the same to the cigarette machine, I never really thought cigarettes were sanitary.

I put my gun away and walk out side where crowds of people are starring at me I cant figure out why, but I continue walking anyways down the side walk. It’s a beautiful day right now the birds are singing the grass is green and the children are playing.

A pack of children are running along on their way to school and just so happen to walk by me I quickly turn around and snap and rip one of the children’s heads clean off I take out my shot gun and shoot the bloody head and the bloody body.

I continue walking the people are staring at me a lot have stared running and for good reason its almost nine they should be a t their jobs now. even more, I put my shotgun away and wipe of m wet hands in the grass. And I continue walking through the now empty streets. By now im getting thursty and feel like getting a glass of OJ

i walk in to a mcdonalds i take out my AK and shoot every one not missing a
single person and only usig on bullet per head i jump over the counter and take a few cups and a few biscuits.

so what do you think so far ?
The Accidental Protege

Iggy Koopa
I\"m your accidental protege...
The gift, the blood, the thrownaway...\"










Since: 03-08-05
From: Marching on the city of Southern Cross

Since last post: 957 days
Last activity: 957 days
Posted on 12-27-05 03:05 PM Link | Quote
This lacks focus, direction and stability. The grammar, spelling and usage are poor, at best, not to mention the punctuation (or lack thereof). I can't say that I'd want to read more of it, I'm sorry to say.
Not only that, but I believe a trip to the psychiatrist is in order, as well.


(Last edited by Scheissenkopf on 12-27-05 10:48 PM)
AlpoRaggins

Troubadour
Not so much dead.








Since: 12-11-04
From: Someday, Somewhere, Over the Rainbow

Since last post: 6404 days
Last activity: 6294 days
Posted on 12-28-05 07:59 PM Link | Quote
The parts after the... more gruesome descriptions... are kind of funny. I think you wanted it to be like that...?

As for the rest... its sort of troubling to be honest...

But I'm cool with it if you... you know, don't actually make this story into anything real.
Draken

Stone axe








Since: 08-26-04
From: Wouldnt you like to know

Since last post: 6066 days
Last activity: 6050 days
Posted on 12-28-05 09:26 PM Link | Quote
im still writing more in word but yes im going forgruesome im trying a steven king aproach and not holding any thing back and youll notice more things as it goes along and also its supposed to be incorrect grammar and youll see that later too
The Accidental Protege

Iggy Koopa
I\"m your accidental protege...
The gift, the blood, the thrownaway...\"










Since: 03-08-05
From: Marching on the city of Southern Cross

Since last post: 957 days
Last activity: 957 days
Posted on 12-28-05 09:33 PM Link | Quote
Keep this on Wordpad, or whatever program you use that apparently doesn't have spellcheck. This is just too... Agh. Words can't describe the animosity I'm feeling towards this piece. It's more or less an embarressment to the Story Realm.
Next newer thread | Next older thread
Xeogaming Forums - Story Realm - WTF |



xeogaming.org

AcmlmBoard 1.92++ r4 Baseline
?2000-2013 Acmlm, Emuz, Blades, Xkeeper, DarkSlaya*, Lord Alexandor*
*Unofficial Updates
Page rendered in 0.151 seconds.
0.040