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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Describe your most dysfunctional family member | |
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If you're reading this... You are the Resistance

Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 1 day
Posted on 11-23-05 01:47 PM Link | Quote
I find this more amusing than despairing or anything else, especially since my dad's side of the family is chock-full of bigot crazies.

So tell us about the kinda people you're almost embarrassed to call family.

My aunt, Janine
She used to be a model, but upon meeting my uncle, Tony, she left modeling to become a housewife. After giving birth to her third child, my cousin Alyssa, she went into depression and started taking meth and other drugs with her sister.

Not only was she ignoring her children who even now have speech impediments because they were still spoken to in baby talk, she was sleeping with her drug dealer and somewhere along the line became pregnant and sold that child away. No clue where the child is now.

Upon cleaning herself up and trying to make a name for herself again, she began yelling at me whenever her kids did something stupid.Yes, when one of them electrocutes themselves with 20 adults around, blame the kid reading in the corner on the other side of the room.

What's more she began openly discriminating against my mom and me because we're of another race. Heh, trying to fit in through bigotry is funny. "I may have fucked up in life, but they're colored! Ooooooooo!!!!"

So tell us about yours. Remember this is meant for amusement. ^_~

(Last edited by Rogue on 11-23-05 04:47 PM)
True Flight

The One

Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 1498 days
Last activity: 1483 days
Posted on 11-23-05 05:34 PM Link | Quote
My brother David

To me he's funny. Even though he helped me through the times he really showed me that I can learn things through HIS mistakes. He's gay ofcourse and he subtlely slams it in my gram's face. (Grandparents in Ellerslie are preachers btw)

In his high school years, he would be a road sign saying he was gay and proud of it, raibow choker, rainbow on his jacket, unicorn, love for fae and Tori Amos. Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing. It's just you can be a little overbearing about it, and yes... he was overbearing about it when he was in grade school. Infact it got a little annoying when I was in middle school. (not being a bigot just stating my mind)

Then he ran away in my freshman year. I just cried, because he made me mad. Running off like that... it was just awful. He told me he was finding himself and read every single one of my lj entries of how let down I was. How depressed I became when I was on my own with my brother to help console me and when I found out he was actually doing drugs. It just let me down.

When he came back I punched him. It turns out he hitch hiked all the way across the united states and back. The chick he was with slept with every single guy that picked them up. He even did hard labor at a time. He even taught me how to fight.

and now his saying is "I hate faeries and queens make us look bad." Because he likes to joke around. My sister loves to put a lisp into what he says just for a joke as well.

Mr. Bright
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!

Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 694 days
Last activity: 694 days
Posted on 11-23-05 06:02 PM Link | Quote
My entire family

If you've met even a few members of my family, you'll know what I'm talking about. With the exception of Junior, everyone else is just a few degrees south of sanity and perfection.

To make me the most sane person in the family just indicates how screwed up they are. We have a running gag where we figure out where all the intelligence went. I'll tell you where it went...all of it into me; whatever's left into Junior.

If you've met me in person, I'm sorry.

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable

Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 days
Posted on 11-24-05 01:37 AM Link | Quote
My uncle Neil

He was an actor long ago, still fancies himself one now (he's in his late 60s). Kleptomaniac for the vast majority of his life, though to my knowledge he's never been caught, except when he stole from my aunt. He goes from okay to asshole in .5 seconds and has a house that is SO messy that he has to clear a path just to get anywhere in the house. Best thing is that he is technologically inept to the point of hilarity... he called the San Francisco Fire Department to his house to change a lightbulb in the fridge because when he touched it it emmited sparks (the bulb was shattered). They unplugged the fridge to cut the power to the socket and then changed the bulb.

Oh, and as you can infer from that story, he lives in San Francisco... and is the biggest homophobe in the family. Oh... and his way of taking pictures is the raise the camera and click, no aiming, just point and shoot... results in very odd, very crappy pictures.

And, keeping with the season: A few years ago he was down here for Thanksgiving. He sent an email to Whoopi Goldberg inviting her and her daughter to dinner without telling my mom. She didn't come of course, but still... he sends random emails to Whoopi Goldberg and other stars!!

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....

Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 4705 days
Last activity: 4645 days
Posted on 11-24-05 04:11 PM Link | Quote
lol, Whoopi rocks. If I was a celebrity, I'd go to random peoples's house for Thanksgiving dinner.

MY Mother

Constantly undecisive if she is claiming bankrupcy or rollin gin the dough, my mother seems to have multiple personality disorder at times. She was a great mother when I was younger, before she came to be who she was. When I was probably about 12, she decided to flip out on us (my two sisters, my father, and I) and became a Pagan. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just how she took it.

She began smoking pot, hung out with her friends who claimed themselves witches, and held "Circles" where they got togehter, prayed to the goddesses, and - to my horror - howled at the moon. So, all the neighbor kids could hear her, and I was the weird kid. Not only that, but she decided she was going to trap an evil spirit in a mirror, and a bunch of other hocus-pocus stuff she says she did that I don't believe she ever DID (magickal stuffs). (even if it is possible).

She then became attracted to one of her female friends, devistating my sister and I. She was MARRIED to our FATHER, and she wanted a woman? We couldn't really understand.

Their marriage failed from that point, her outwardly crazyness casting my dad into the shadows, where he barely ever talked and had a face of stone. They got a divorce, and she moved into town.

Then one day while I was talking on the phone, she came in and hung it up on me (she actually did this numerous times). I called them back, she hung up again. I made a smart-ass remark, and she locked me in the room and proceeded to try and hit me, then called the cops on me for shoving her out of the way so I could escape.

Hmm... what else...

She developed a sense of liberty when her and my father devorced, sleeping with practically every guy she met, including the grungy, drugged up ones. Then she developed a relationship with Pam, the manipulative bitch. She used my mother to buy her children stuff because she couldn't afford it. My mum also let Pam drive one of the vehicles she owned and took her out to dinner/movies/other things, where Pam didn't even pay her back (usually you take turns taking each other out to dinner, ya know?).

Merh. She spastically claimed bankruptcy a few times (not sure if she did legally or not), and then followed it a week later by telling us how she has so much money stashed away in the "Fuck Uncle Sam" fund.

She's thrown me out of the house numerous times for little things like not cleaning my room.

She leaves her pipe out in plain sight where my niece and nephew can see it when she knows they're coming over, and all that good stuff.

I'm going to end my rant here, because now that we're not living together, we're getting along a lot better, and I don't see her faults as closely as I did while I was sharing a house with her. *sighs*

Sorry - long rant.

Mr. Bright
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!

Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 694 days
Last activity: 694 days
Posted on 11-24-05 05:30 PM Link | Quote
Elara, you forgot to mention that he constantly wants you to record shows for him even though he lives in a whole other city.

He's four. He thinks he's older. He loves clothes more than toys. He wants to go to Disneyland (even though I took him all the time when I worked there.) As far as he's concerned, Rogue is ugly and has apple juice.

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable

Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 3 days
Posted on 11-25-05 01:57 AM Link | Quote
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

... and the calling... oh gods! I swear he has sensors in our house to know when we are eating dinner. Everyday, without fail, Neil will call during that time (in addition to the 5+ other times that day). He won't let you switch to the other line when the call waiting beeps in, if you do he hangs up. If you disagree with him he bitches at you and hangs up... he's just... odd.


Since: 11-25-05

Since last post: 5532 days
Last activity: 5530 days
Posted on 11-25-05 05:14 AM Link | Quote
aunt bea...ugh, this bitch I am forced to live with through no choice of my own, my late mother's older sister. She has somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 cats that I have to take care of, and I hate cats more than anything. She is your typical middle aged woman that drives terribly (scary at times) and seems to marinate in perfume. She even came home from her bingo night and rear ended my civic in the driveway. I am forced to clean up after her and have food ready or she'll kick me out of the house. no wonder uncle joe left the miserable bitch...
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