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12-02-20 01:32 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Letter from the "New California" | |
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Cyro Xero

Rune Mage

Rave Atom

Since: 02-23-05
From: Minnesota!!

Since last post: 1386 days
Last activity: 1299 days
Posted on 10-06-05 11:05 AM Link | Quote
This was taken from the forums in a thread made by the user Furbird. I thought it was a good laugh, and some of you may also enjoy this.

Letter From "New California" (Fun)

Dear Red States,

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving.

We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We
get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Elliot Spitzer.
You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty.
You get Opryland.

We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard.
You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue.
You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.
You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Carnegie Mellon, University of Chicago, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.


Author Unknown in New California

(Last edited by Cyro Xero on 10-06-05 02:06 PM)
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance

Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 2 days
Posted on 10-07-05 01:12 PM Link | Quote
I think they fudged their facts a bit. I don't think the percentages are right, and the whole bit about divorces isn't completely true, especially considering that left-wings support single mothers who have their children out of wedlock.

Either way it's funny, but a bit exaggerated.

I used to joke with Zabuza, even before there was talk of it, about California becoming its own country because it has the fifth highest economy in the world and for the pure jest that it would be the world's gayest country.
Jity Horo


Since: 01-01-05

Since last post: 5226 days
Last activity: 4441 days
Posted on 10-07-05 04:00 PM Link | Quote
Hey what about Pennsylvania damnit lol. Calfornia is probally going to come off anyway it should fly solo.


Since: 08-28-05
From: California

Since last post: 5484 days
Last activity: 5324 days
Posted on 10-08-05 02:50 AM Link | Quote
Why does everybody hate republicans. It really sucks for me because I actually live in California (about an hour from SF) It sucks being a republican in one of the most liberal areas of the world.

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable

Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 273 days
Last activity: 273 days
Posted on 10-12-05 02:15 AM Link | Quote
We don't hate all republicans... just the idiot ones that seem to be the majority.

Red Super Koopa
Watching you fall brings joy to my heart....

Since: 08-16-04
From: Oregon

Since last post: 4658 days
Last activity: 4598 days
Posted on 10-12-05 04:21 AM Link | Quote
I am more republican in a lot of views, but I hate Liberals AND Republicans who are too stupid to realize fact from fiction and what they think. *shrugs*

But on topiic, that's hilarious. Nice one.
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