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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - Self Injury | |
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Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 4491 days
Last activity: 3756 days
Posted on 03-02-05 07:24 PM Link | Quote
There was a similar thread before the wipe. I find this topic interesting and wanted to bring it up again.

For those of you who don't already know, self injury is exactly that, hurting yourself. This can be cutting, burning, picking, whatever. Basically this is a place for people to share their experiences with Self Injury. It is also a place where questions can be answered.

This is a hard topic to discuss so lets not be judgemental.
geeogree

Ninji








Since: 10-19-04

Since last post: 3779 days
Last activity: 1928 days
Posted on 03-02-05 08:53 PM Link | Quote
well, I'm going to post here before anyone else does and ask...

why in the world would you purposefully cut yourself? hooray for cutting "I want to die" into your skin or something?

is it just for attention or what?
Belial

Bazu








Since: 01-29-05
From: New Zealand

Since last post: 2968 days
Last activity: 2583 days
Posted on 03-02-05 09:27 PM Link | Quote
I've cut myself before... on several occasions. I had it hard a year and a half ago, and I couldn't find a good way to cope with it. Another occasion was when I just felt so... worthless to anyone.. it was so horrible. I dug myself into a hole then couldn't climb out of it. Causing pain is a way for me to vent my anger...
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 4491 days
Last activity: 3756 days
Posted on 03-02-05 10:15 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by geeogree
well, I'm going to post here before anyone else does and ask...

why in the world would you purposefully cut yourself? hooray for cutting "I want to die" into your skin or something?

is it just for attention or what?


There are different reasons people cut themselves. Some do it too frown out emotional pain, as an escape. Others do it because it is the one thing they have full control over. In some cases it is just merely because it feels good. It all depends on the person and their life.
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 3695 days
Last activity: 3211 days
Posted on 03-02-05 11:46 PM Link | Quote
Like Sis said there are many reasons to cut. Masochism may be a part of it. Hoplessness, depression, hell I've known people that did it just cause they were bored. Not the best way to relieve boredom but there it is.

I personally started for a very stupid reason. Had some hard times that it helped with and then it just got to a point where it was a bit masochistic. I haven't cut in a while now.
Stitch

Mr. Bright
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 701 days
Last activity: 701 days
Posted on 03-03-05 12:34 AM Link | Quote
Not to detract, but I have a whole different spin on this subject. It's not so much self-mutilation as it is mentally barring the soulbonded ninjas in my head from doing things. Among the two (Zabuza and the Hokage), one is particularly restless having to reside within me. As of late, I've let him off his protective leash. Bad move.

I'm not going to elaborate now, and I'm not going to explain right now either. Let's just say that he's figured out how to manipulate my body parts into random spasms (messes with my nerves) in hopes that I'll give him what he wants--full unbridled body control. Basically...no.

Anyway, yesterday he decided that he was going to do something...I don't exactly know what yet...but he managed to dislocate my shoulder. After that, he figured out that his water control doesn't work well with my electrical control, and he ended up in writhing searing pain. The result, systematic shut-down, numbing dull pain, and decreased energies overall to my whole being. It took me three hours just to get rid of the chest area pains, and I'm still numb and can't feel my right pinky.

Okay, all that aside, I take pleasure in disciplining Zabuza because he's a restless little dork. I guess it counts as a form of self-mutilation, since it requires a large bank of my life energies to subdue him...thereby weakening myself.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 11 days
Posted on 03-03-05 02:04 AM Link | Quote
I used to be a "cutter" actually. I've always had trouble controlling my emotions and I took to cutting as a way to dull the pain. In the beginning it worked fine... the physical pain took my mind off the shit going on and the pain I felt inside. It's hard to put into words, how it felt... the biting of the blade into my skin as the first wave of pain hit me, how all other thoughts and feelings just dimmed as I looked at the red line on my skin. Words don't do it justice. But after a time it quit working, then it just made it worse... the numbness didn't last as long and it ended up with me in emotional and physical pain, as well as my friends lecturing me because they worried so much. It was my choice to quit though, I finally just realized that it was pointless... I haven't cut for that reason since.

Now, if we get into masochism/sadism that is different. I don't do it that often, but I do enjoy bloodplay. Again, words cannot begin to describe the feeling of the cut, nor of the feeling of someone you love drinking your blood. Blood tastes good, that is all I will say.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 4491 days
Last activity: 3756 days
Posted on 03-03-05 09:23 AM Link | Quote
I started cutting because my boyfriend at the time carved my name into his arm. So I carved his initials into my hand. Thet thing about it is I liked the way it felt. Later on I was going through some hard times and I used it as an escape. I don't cut much now unless I just want the thrill of it. I like pain and it's effect on my body.

I'm switching topics now....Bloodplay. Before I continue with this I'm going to ask if anyone has any issues with me telling exactly what bloodplay is.
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 3695 days
Last activity: 3211 days
Posted on 03-03-05 10:11 AM Link | Quote
Not gonna get any complaints from me since if you hadn't heard about it before I'm the one that told you about it sis. Other on the board might be a little leary of it so this is a warning to all.

This thread is about to o into a topic that may or may not make some of you sick to read. You have been warned.

Have at sis.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 4491 days
Last activity: 3756 days
Posted on 03-03-05 10:19 AM Link | Quote
Ok here we go...

Bloodplay is the act of cutting your partner before or, in rare cases, during the act of sex. In other words it is very kinky foreplay. There is alot more that goes with it though. The person you cut or are cut by has to possess your full trust, your life is in their hands. This to me is a beautiful thing.

I'm leaving this to anyone who has comments, questions, or would like to add or elaborate a little more.
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 11 days
Last activity: 11 days
Posted on 03-03-05 10:59 AM Link | Quote
It actually does not have to involve sex, since you can choose not to do that... but otherwise that is the best definition of it I've yet to hear.

I just recently got into doing that kind of thing, since I finally have someone that I trust to that level... it's interesting how much closer doing that brings people.
Jin

Posting Pig
Not Dead








Since: 01-12-05
From: Nowhere

Since last post: 1285 days
Last activity: 1144 days
Posted on 03-03-05 11:01 AM Link | Quote
Blood is the most basic and raw level of love and hate. As well as life and death.

It's very sexual and beautiful.
Stitch

Mr. Bright
Holy crap, it is the RoboCoonie!








Since: 08-20-04
From: California

Since last post: 701 days
Last activity: 701 days
Posted on 03-03-05 11:29 AM Link | Quote
I'd rather not touch on the bloodplay, but to each their own. Anywho, I guess if you count the fact that I like to play with my internal energies to the point that, yes, I can die...I guess that counts as self-mutilation.
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 3695 days
Last activity: 3211 days
Posted on 03-03-05 02:02 PM Link | Quote
Makura and Elara are both right. Most commonly blood play occurs during or before intercourse but it doesn't always have to. The reason it usually does is because it's like the equivalent of a reallyheavy make out session that evolves into losing clothes and there ya go.

So it isn't as often that someone can stick with just the bloodplay and not go on to intercourse.
Torque

Beast








Since: 09-07-04
From: Georgia

Since last post: 5105 days
Last activity: 4944 days
Posted on 03-03-05 03:34 PM Link | Quote
ya im not gunna step into the bloodplay thing but i poured lighter fluid on my hand one time juss see that i was on fire it was cool i like fire.
Makura









Since: 01-22-05
From: The restaurant at the end of the universe....

Since last post: 4491 days
Last activity: 3756 days
Posted on 03-04-05 08:38 AM Link | Quote
I like fire to Torque I've burned myself a few times and like to poor candle wax over my arm.

Just to clarify, since it seems like this thread is dying, anyone can their opinion here.
MisturMoogle

Thief








Since: 02-02-05
From: U.S.A.

Since last post: 5089 days
Last activity: 4711 days
Posted on 03-04-05 09:18 AM Link | Quote
I've done several things ti try and inflict bodily harm on meyself.. I've cutted, burned, jumped off of high places in hopes of breaking stuff, atempted suffocation, drowning, and some other things i dont like to mention.. My life has been full of sorrow and depression since I can remember, my parents split when I was younger.. and alot of other things, I was by myself till i hit 3 grade, I didnt have any friends or anything so I've stuck to myself for a good majority of my life. And like Elara and Makura said... I think that is the purest way to show true love and trust to somone.. putting yer life in somone elses hands and trusting them. It is beautiful..
Culgen

Archer








Since: 09-12-04

Since last post: 5000 days
Last activity: 1685 days
Posted on 03-04-05 02:02 PM Link | Quote
IVe done everything the worst i think ive probley done is razorblade to my upper legs ive taken pills Lots of them killing my liver drinking my self to it went away have taken drugs lots of things to get away from it. im not really into it much more. but bloodplay still interests me in slight ways
Pockets

Werewolf
pockets








Since: 10-20-04

Since last post: 3695 days
Last activity: 3211 days
Posted on 03-04-05 05:46 PM Link | Quote
You know... I used to think it was difficult to find people with a similar interest in the macabre, which is what this discussion could be called. Go figure a simple thread and here there's at least a half a dozen or so. *is too lazy to count exactly.*

Burning I never really cared for, I like fire but I don't like being burned. I have some burn scars that never faded from accidents. I also think it's just a like blades too much. In a martial arts class I was in for a short time I was doing weapons training with bladed sais as opposed to the ones that only have points. I like swords and knives, especially the way the edge gleams when light catches it just right.

*shrugs*

Everyone that's mentioned cutting and other stuff so far seems to have something in their life that set it off that was at least mildly understandable. I started cause I was a stupid idiot.

Oh well. Let's do our best to keep this thread alive, it'd be nice to have a place to talk about stuff like this with people that won't judge.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 1506 days
Last activity: 1491 days
Posted on 03-04-05 06:49 PM Link | Quote
Never have I cut myself. Only once I poked my hand with a needle on purpose, that was when I was hysterical after my bio-dad and I had that humongous arguement about being adopted. Got the scar on my hand to prove it. Pain sucks. I 've noticed that. That's why it's hard for me to stay mad more than 45 minutes. The only self injury I have done to myself is 'psychological' injury. Where I have called myself a failure, put myself down, and choke my own words to myself. It's something I haven't done in a while. I'm proud of myself for that.
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