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12-08-22 02:28 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Sunset Waterfall - personal ambition Vs. Famlys goals | |
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Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 10-25-07 02:29 AM Link | Quote
I feel as though by posting this I am give everyone grate blackmail on me however, DirkRalthar has twisted my arm in to posting my awkward personal problems. Let me start by saying I have a hard time coming to anyone with my problems so to be spilling my problems to a bunch of complete strangers has my nerves in a bunch.

It began about a year ago during the summer brake when a USMC recruiter, much to say I have always been fascinated by the military and I immediately want to go, however my parents who up until this point have supported me in everything I did disagreed, contacted me. I can understand why I mean there is a chance of death and I am there only son so I can see why they wouldn’t want me to go. However a flat opposition would have been easier to deal with then the maelstrom of guilt that came flooding my direction, so I did the only thing I could, do I caved to there whishes and the guilt stopped, but I still don’t feel right on the inside and I thought with time it would get better. I let a week go by, then a month, now a year and still I feel as though I have betrayed myself. It has become self evident that I truly want to go threw with this, but alas my problem. How do I tell my parents this? How do I avoid the maelstrom of guilt and the realization I have been lying to them for over a year. This is by far the worst predicament I have faced yet. GOD HELP ME!!!
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 46 days
Last activity: 35 days
Posted on 10-25-07 02:53 PM Link | Quote
A friend once told me never to put too much stock in shoulds (like "I should be going to college," "I should be practicing my art," "I should have been famous by now," etc). Shoulds create guilt and guilt is bad for the soul.

Now whether you believe in a soul or not, that's your theological belief. Replace it with mental health if you must; either way, guilt can destroy a person.

If you want to go into the military so badly, look into why your family is against you enlisting. You said yourself that there is a chance of death and many people do make the mistake of joining the military thinking they'll find glory in it. The marines are often the ones who go into battle after all.

But look at the positives, you get paid pretty well, you're serving your country, and there are a lot of military benefits.

Just read into it more. Talk to other who've been in the military. If it's really what you want to do then "Semper fi," jarhead. You have to consider if it's what feels right for you and seeing how bad you're feeling about it, it seems it's what your heart wants.

Now which is more important to you, your dreams or what your parents think of you? You want them to be proud and not drop loads of guilt on you, obviously, but is that little voice inside of you that's screaming to be heard more painful than the guilt?

MANY parents out there don't want their children to enlist for the same reasons your parents can give. I'm sure most of the people in active duty have folks who insisted they shouldn't have joined up, but when you talk to their families practically all of them boast about their child in the service, of how proud they are and so on.

You're not lying to your parents, you're lying to yourself. Tell your parents about your ache to serve. Like I said, look into it more and try to educate your parents on how the pros outweigh the cons. You have to take control of your life sooner or later.
Dirk Ralthar

Thief








Since: 07-18-06
From: Malthar

Since last post: 5416 days
Last activity: 5387 days
Posted on 10-25-07 06:31 PM Link | Quote
First off, I don't recall twisting your arm to get you to post here, I merely suggested it. But worrying about "should have"s, "What If"s, and "Could have been"s is just going to make your miserable. You should make the decision of your own volition, and your parents have to accept that. Your 19 dude, make your desision, your parents can't stop you, and you shouldn't let them stop you. Also, if they dislike the idea of you joining the marines so much, but you still want to join the military. The is also the Coast Guard and the Air Force. In the CG only volunteers are likely to see combat, and I doubt you see combat in the AF if you arn't a pilot, not really sure on that second one.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2187 days
Last activity: 2172 days
Posted on 10-25-07 10:59 PM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rogue
You're not lying to your parents, you're lying to yourself. Tell your parents about your ache to serve. Like I said, look into it more and try to educate your parents on how the pros outweigh the cons. You have to take control of your life sooner or later.


Okay... I like what Rogue said there. Let me tell you a short version of my story. If you want you can IM me on AIM. I'll give you my sn if you pm me.

I myself pictured myself as someone in the military. I was fascinated by the military and how good it looks on your resume. I told my mom that I was going to go into the military I didn't know what branch I wanted to go into though. So my dad and I went to a recruiter. I was 17 so I needed a parent. My mom totally disapproved and pretty much shot down my chances of making that decision my junior year.

So I snuck around my mom's back and started talking to more recruiters. In school and out. An Air Force recruiter had me seduced into joining. But the waiting period was too long for me. So I ALMOST went to meps with the recruiter. Soon I got a call from SFC Aquino. We started talking. I told her I wanted to be a military person and she was like LET'S GO FOR IT! So around my 18th b-day I was still talking to her I gave her a call. "GUESS WHAT!" XD I signed all my papers because it was MY decision. I went with it and had so much fun with it.

Look... Ben if that's your name...

Ben does what Ben wants to do. Ben is 19 about to be 20. Your family will get over it. Mine did and boy are they proud of me.
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 10-26-07 02:32 AM Link | Quote
thanks for the advice evryone.i think im going to have a conversation whith my mother tomaro morning, we will se how it gose from there.and btw my first name realy is Ben.


(Last edited by Amudaus on 10-26-07 05:35 AM)
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2187 days
Last activity: 2172 days
Posted on 10-26-07 09:13 PM Link | Quote
tell us how it went if you want
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 10-31-07 03:56 PM Link | Quote
well its out. i finaly spoke whith my mother last night. she took the news a loot beter then i thoght she would and i plan on talking to my father tonight. im not going to tell the clan (my extended famaly) as last time this turened in to a compleat disaster and i realy dont want to have there controling personalitys influincing my desition again. eany way ill keep you updated.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 46 days
Last activity: 35 days
Posted on 10-31-07 04:15 PM Link | Quote
I'm pleased to hear about your talk with your mother.

Do keep us posted, and best of luck to you with your father.
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 11-01-07 02:30 AM Link | Quote
well i finaly did it, bolth parents have agreed to suport me in my latest endever, my father acepted the news way beter then i expected, he did express his conserns about Iraq. he also expresed conserns about our polical situation here in the us (my father is a stonch Democrat). now that the hard parts over time to start geting ready to face destony.
i want to thank evryone here for suporting me and hellping me threw this road block, you have my thanks.


(Last edited by Amudaus on 11-01-07 03:57 PM)
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 46 days
Last activity: 35 days
Posted on 11-01-07 03:29 AM Link | Quote
Awwwwwright! Congratulations, Ben!
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 11-02-07 09:54 PM Link | Quote
well now that the "hard part" is over i thoght i would feel more relaxed. i have been in contact whith the recruter and im feeling a bit gitery. i have nothing to hide but i still feel nervus. im probably just phyicing myself out. eany of you feel that way?
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 46 days
Last activity: 35 days
Posted on 11-03-07 12:05 AM Link | Quote
You're taking a huge step in your life. Everyone feels nervous when they reach new milestones--yours just happens to be your taking control over your destiny and mapping out your future.

It's like how people who are about to get married get cold feet. They know they love the other person, but like joining the military it's a big step and an even bigger commitment.

If joining the military is what you really want, you'll be fine. Look at True/Lil Miss MRE. She joined the army and from what it sounds like she's very content with her decision.
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 11-03-07 12:10 AM Link | Quote
im shur ill be happy whith my choice. however its like that feeling one gets befor going on a rolercoster, your exited yet a litle terified at the same time, i just have to keep moving forward.
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2187 days
Last activity: 2172 days
Posted on 11-05-07 10:57 AM Link | Quote
just remember finding the right branch of the military is like getting married to yourself. O_o it was like that with me. You're going to have to go through MEPS... but that's okay. You'll get over that.

T_T The first person to see me naked was an old woman LOL.
Amudaus

Octoballoon








Since: 07-24-06

Since last post: 5396 days
Last activity: 5386 days
Posted on 11-07-07 11:51 PM Link | Quote
sary i have been quiet for a few days but school is taking its tole on me. eany way i met whith the recruter and i have to drop 10Lbs befor i can dep in but its ok i have it to lose.
your right chusing the right branch is like geting married, my dad realy wants me to go in the coast gard thow i must admit going after drug runers would be fun its just not where my heart is.
were my mined is right now is on boot camp. i plan to leave in may just befor my birthday so i can be home for the start of the fall semester at my College (im going in the reserves btw)
True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2187 days
Last activity: 2172 days
Posted on 11-08-07 12:41 AM Link | Quote
oh man.

Don't get your parents to do your paper work for college. My mom did mine. =_=; And I gotta go through a hell of a lot of trouble just to say I've lived in GA since 1st grade. =_=;
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