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12-15-19 08:19 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Xeogaming Office - 2017 Year of the Ancient Forbidden Fruit!
  
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Xeoman
Posts: 11691/11691
Doesn't sound fun. I have not experienced anything like this yet in life with close friends, probably due to the age bracket of my circle still being 20's - 30's mostly, but yeah. On the flip side, my dad's endless side of the family has chain reactions of divorces everywhere and it definitely splinters up the family and things quite badly. My dad still has some resentment about issues too (ie: his birth dad had two children with his second wife, my dad's step mom. They never really made an effort to be part of my or my sisters life much. My dad will probably be angry about that deep down forever).

We see them maybe once a year or something but yeah, growing up they never did much with us, when my dad's mom was the opposite. But we lost her to cancer a few years ago. So the family events get smaller, but then some people start having children and the cycle seems to come back.
Rogue
Posts: 11822/11823
I'm kind of shaken, at the moment. Nothing crazy has happened to me, but my friend group is kind of going through some shit.

My husband is in a metal band; he's been in it since 2004. It renamed itself and became what it is now around 2006. There've been a few changes here and there, the bass player knocking up his girlfriend and moving away, the lead guitarists leaving or getting fired a few times over the years. Anyway, it's always been Brandon and this couple who are the lead singer and the drummer. They've been together nearly 30 years and today they announced their separation.

They run a business together. They have a house, a dog (they were militantly child-free), and we've always known them as "Marty and Becky." You rarely got one without the other. They were GOALS. I don't quite know what went wrong or how it all seems to be happening so fast. Marty accidentally updated the band's online calendar to read that he was meeting with a divorce lawyer tomorrow.


At the same time, the bass player and her husband just separated and are divorcing after something like 20 years together. They got married 9 years ago. Again, not entirely sure why they're separating, though we're all pretty certain that whatever it is, it was his fault. I don't know..


So many people in our circle are in these committed relationships for years before they get married. Mary and Becky were together for 8 or 9 years and have been married for 19. The current lead guitarist has been with his girlfriend for around 16 years.

Brandon and I have been together 15 years, going on 16 in April as we got married last year. It's not like this has any baring on my own relationship, but yeah it makes me go, "What the hell happened?!"

Ironically Bran and I were watching "Marriage Story" this morning while nursing our flus in bed. It's one of the many Adam Driver films out this fall/winter, this one his character is going through a bloody separation/divorce. It's pretty depressing, especially when you wonder things like how could it all fall apart when things seem to be going well? (Spoiler: they throw in that he has a one-off affair with a co-worker. But I have to wonder if the rest would have been enough to leave someone over and throw your child's life into upheaval?)


I'm not sure if I'm waxing philosophic or what. It's just that I watched Marty and Becky for my entire adult life. I can't believe what they had is over. It's not my business, I know, but if I said this didn't rock me to my core, I'd be lying.
Luigi442wii
Posts: 132/155
damn... my condolences

also I hate how some people can be really sick :/
Rogue
Posts: 11746/11823
Looking for articles, I'm like, "Christ, it made the Washington Post?"

Unfortunately three people were killed, four wounded. It happened at night, so the clients and I weren't there. We were there earlier in the day, however. I was really scared this one employee there was one of the three. He's so sweet to the clients, and treats them like people (I know, what a concept.) I went by there when they were having a candlelight vigil (I thought they might be open so I could go visit the employees), but left when people were asking me if I knew the men killed and sort of side-eyed me like I was just there to gawk.

What really pissed me off was how some people reacted to the news, saying things like, "Well, it gets really dark there, if you know what I mean." This was seriously uttered by one of my coworkers.

When a person on Yelp made the comment going, "It was 'Planet of the Apes' night at the Bowl. What do you expect?" I kept flagging it, and it took a week for Yelp to finally take the comment down. Ridiculous. People are DEAD. Three men, all fathers with families who love them.
Luigi442wii
Posts: 131/155
Originally posted by Rogue
Kind of in a weird place, mentally.

The bowling alley where I take my clients twice a week was just shot up.

W-wtf? Any details or news articles - I hope nobody was killed
Xeoman
Posts: 11624/11691
I'd take a year off from there at least.

Lots of problems at one of the last standing big local malls around here thesedays too.
Rogue
Posts: 11736/11823
Kind of in a weird place, mentally.

The bowling alley where I take my clients twice a week was just shot up.
Luigi442wii
Posts: 115/155
Originally posted by Rogue
Originally posted by Rogue
I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate this place, Xeo, and I love that you keep it around.

Whenever I have a problem or want to vent about something I just feel like social media's too public a place. There's too many people who know me personally that I don't want to see me unload emotionally. Too much shit to hide there.

I can be myself here.

I wrote this in this thread almost a year ago. It's still true.

Anyway, it's coming up on October, and I still don't have a new site to host pictures on. I REFUSE to pay for Photobucket.

Try imageupload.co.uk or nyah.moe
Xeoman
Posts: 11583/11691
Thanks.

Did you give imgur a shot?
Rogue
Posts: 11693/11823
Originally posted by Rogue
I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate this place, Xeo, and I love that you keep it around.

Whenever I have a problem or want to vent about something I just feel like social media's too public a place. There's too many people who know me personally that I don't want to see me unload emotionally. Too much shit to hide there.

I can be myself here.

I wrote this in this thread almost a year ago. It's still true.

Anyway, it's coming up on October, and I still don't have a new site to host pictures on. I REFUSE to pay for Photobucket.
Luigi442wii
Posts: 113/155
Yep. We did really well

Shoulda said something earlier but better late than never
Rogue
Posts: 11658/11823
The England bashing was because a lot of people were tired of all the smugness from the "It's coming home!" Your boy still won best kicker.

Luigi442wii
Posts: 95/155
I'm still happy France won though. I'm literally 20 miles away from the ferry to go there ^^

Also people bashing England, we did so well and can do even better as we had a young squad^^
Rogue
Posts: 11656/11823
Rooted for Croatia in the World Cup this year. They made it all the way to the finals, which is the farthest they've ever made it and are the smallest country in the finals since Uruguay in 1950.

It also helps that I'm now Croatian by marriage.
Luigi442wii
Posts: 86/155
Originally posted by Rogue
I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate this place, Xeo, and I love that you keep it around.

Whenever I have a problem or want to vent about something I just feel like social media's too public a place. There's too many people who know me personally that I don't want to see me unload emotionally. Too much shit to hide there.

I can be myself here.

Well said. It's also nice to keep what seems to be the oldest surviving AB around still.
I love this place too even if I don't checked it in long time ^^
Xeoman
Posts: 11523/11691
It is a nice little hidden place. Wish more people were still around though.

Lately I'm thinking about logging out of FB on my PC at least, I will be too lazy to log back in (can't remember my password either so I'd have to look it up in my notepad file which is even more effort). So logging out will probably keep me from checking it. I've done this in the past with deleting bookmarks to break free from places. Just really burned out on the internet/social media in general lately. I'm failing to find any positives and I think the information overload, notifications (hearing lately how people think we're not wired for this), etc and all that is truly fucking my memory, happiness, focus, etc.
Rogue
Posts: 11591/11823
I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate this place, Xeo, and I love that you keep it around.

Whenever I have a problem or want to vent about something I just feel like social media's too public a place. There's too many people who know me personally that I don't want to see me unload emotionally. Too much shit to hide there.

I can be myself here.
Rogue
Posts: 11582/11823
Originally posted by Xeoman
Finally have a decent job I can just leave at the door when I clock out and not worry about a thing.

Honestly, envious.

I think because of the fact that people in my life outside of work blow me off so much, I've clung onto work friendships much more than I used to. We're freaking making all these plans to do stuff together.

I didn't used to be friends with anyone, outside of a couple guys who are now gone. It was delightful not being dragged into the drama.

Nowadays, I'm in the thick of it. Not sure what I did to some of the back-stabbers to make them so shitty toward me, but then again, I think it's just the fact that I socialize with people they hate.

I dunno. It's just that we spend 7.5 hours there a day, 37.5 hours a week. More time than I see my family sometimes.
Xeoman
Posts: 11516/11691
That's a mess of messes. I've been at jobs where I've seen others sleeping around among co-workers, while they have relationships/children outside of work, so it's pretty gross and disturbing. I'm also kind of shocked how many married couples I see at my current job. I personally wouldn't want to work with a significant other, you need some space! Keep your worlds apart!

It's funny I saw a meme recently, how work friendships tend to be more intense and emotionally draining. Looking back at CVS and some of my previous jobs, I think that's totally true. I'm glad things are more low key and quieter at my current data entry job thesedays. Finally have a decent job I can just leave at the door when I clock out and not worry about a thing.
Rogue
Posts: 11580/11823
It's a cross between the two, Xeo. We know it's happening, but we don't acknowledge it to each other, especially when they're around. It does get discussed, though.

Apparently the girl went to a new co-worker of ours to inform him of the whole situation, in that she's worried that our boss is just using her for sex and that he's not interested in more. She's been hanging on to this new co-worker, laughing just a bit too loudly when she's around him, pretty obviously trying to elicit a response from our boss. New co-worker has acknowledged that he feels like he's just a tool. Doesn't stop him from going along with it and giving her attention when she brushes passed him or play fights him all the time.

Seriously though, both she and our boss are married and have children. She's 23 or 24, I think, and admitted her son was a prom night conception. Our boss is 29 and has two kids, their pictures in frames in his office. My mom's known our boss from when he first started at the company, before he was married.

I'd considered my boss a friend at some point, but I've been trying to distance myself from him, particularly because the girl's been acting a bit jealous. I gave him a bottle of Game of Thrones beer since I know he likes it and he wanted to keep it with his figures, and a couple days later she got him a Christmas-themed flask, which she displayed in the same place where I put the bottle on his desk.

At the end of the day, I'd sometimes come and hang out in his office and talk, but now the girl's ALWAYS there. The previously mentioned new male co-worker remarked to me that he feels like he's cock-blocking when he's in there to hang out. He says he made this comment out loud once and the girl went, "Yeah, you kinda are."

I think in all of this, I just feel disappointment toward my boss. I thought he'd be better than this.

Add to this that our case manager is ALSO dating a co-worker, one I'd previously considered a friend. At least in their case, neither one is cheating on someone else.

The complaint regarding this pairing is that she's definitely changed since starting to date him. It was our co-worker, Jean's, birthday and she wanted us all to go out for it. The case manager's girlfriend, who WAS best friends with Jean, kept saying that where Jean wanted to go for her birthday was too far away and convinced other co-workers to back out of going. The location was switched to a place around the corner from our center. The two couples showed up LATE to the dinner, sat on one end of the table, and barely socialized with anybody else, even though part of the celebration was actually for the boss' girlfriend. The guys, who normally hang out and talk, were seated further away with the girlfriends between them and the rest of us. After dinner when we walked outside and started talking, the girlfriends had already began walking to the car, demanding, "Let's gooooo already!" to our boss and case manager. It was awkward.


In the end, what's concerning are backstabbing co-workers who'd want to take advantage of the situation and complain to HR or someone higher up to try to screw with our boss. He's REALLY lenient with a lot of the bullshit that goes down at our center among staff, and this gets interpreted as weakness. I like our boss. I don't want to see this center go down because of this series of obviously poor life choices.
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Xeogaming Office - 2017 Year of the Ancient Forbidden Fruit!



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