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11-21-24 11:56 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - limericks
  
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Elara
Posts: 698/9736
DAMN YOU POCKETS! I was gonna post that one. *grumbles*

There once was a man from Peru
Who's limricks ended on line two


Heh heh heh, that one's from Ren Faire as well. Goddess bless Sound & Fury!
Pockets
Posts: 278/838
I just remembered one.

There once was a cowboy named Bruno.
Who said fornication is one thing I do know.
Ladies are fine,
little boys are devine,
but the llama is numero uno.
Makura
Posts: 253/1555
There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.

There was a young fellow named perkin
Who was always jerkin his gherkin
His father said perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

There once was a pirate (the story relates)
who liked to go dancing on roller skates.
He fell on his cutlass
which rendered him nutless
and virtually useless on dates

There once was a girl from New York
whose vagina was plugged with a cork.
To remove it she fingered,
but still the cork lingered.
So she got it out with a fork
venomouslobster
Posts: 36/444
there once was a duke from Milan
who wrote poems that didnt quite scan
when people asked why
he'd simply reply
I just like to fit as many words into the last line as i possibly can!
Cyro Xero
Posts: 360/1779
Geez, you guys are very naughty posting these.¬_¬

I just made this up now, so it might not sound all too funny.

A man wanted to try something new.
His girlfriend said the same thing too.
So he ate her upside down,
with her face on the ground,
but the guy tasted nothing but poo.

Heh, not bad I guess.
Makura
Posts: 243/1555
There once was a man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe.
He had dreams of venus,
and put his hand on his penis.
He woke up with a hand full of goo.
Elara
Posts: 662/9736
How many versions of the Nantucket one are there?

Well, Pockets said all the ones that I know, so I got nothing.
Rogue
Posts: 186/11918
I heard this one from a drag queen named Amber for a toast:

There once was a girl named Louise,
Whose pubes went down to her knees.
The crabs got together
And knit her a sweater,
So in winter her cunt wouldn't freeze.

Just other limericks I know:

There once was a whore from Nantucket
She took my dick out to suck it
I gave her a fifty.
Boy she was nifty!
And now I cum blood in a bucket.

There once was a vampire named Mabel
Whose periods were rather unstable.
One night at full moon,
She took out a spoon
And drank herself under the table.

There once was a fellow named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
I have to admit
She sure smelled like shit!
But think of the money he saved.

There was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
Wiping spunk off his chin,
'If my ear were a cunt, I could fuck it.'
Pockets
Posts: 273/838
Some of these I got from Ren Fair.

There once was a man from Kildare,
Who was having his made on a stair,
when the banister broke,
and he doubled his stroke,
and he finished her off in mid air.

Said the tin man to Dorothy "My dear,"
"I would love to fuck you right here."
"But I dare not,"
"For your runny wet twat,"
"would make my cock rusty I fear."

This magical fellow Houdini,
could do interesting tricks with his weiney
when tied in a bow,
he'd then make it go,
up the butt of his helper miss queeney.

There once was a man from Rangoon,
whose farts could be heard from the moon,
when you'd least expect them,
they'd rip from his rectum,
like the roar of an angry baboon.

There once was a man from Legrass,
whose balls were constructed of brass,
when jangled together,
they played stormy weather,
and lighting shot out of his ass.

A lesbian once in Kartoom,
invited a Fairy up into her room,
they spent the whole night,
in a heck of a fight,
as to which would do what and to whom.

If I remember any others I'll post them at a later date.
venomouslobster
Posts: 14/444
This is a thread for limericks of any sort (cause i like limericks) lemme start you off


A limerick packs laughs anatomical
in a space that is quite economical
but often, it seems
they're so seldom clean
but the clean ones so seldom are comical


Their once was a girl who was chased
by a man who kept pinching her waist
so she rose with a clamour
and picked up a hammer
and beat the man into a paste!


got any more...lets hear em!

.....pockets this means you!
Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - limericks



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