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09-30-23 05:27 AM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - The Current State of Xeomerica
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Posts: 8571/9733
Turkey bacon is capable of being greasy. Plus it is kosher. You don't want to exclude the Jews, do you?

Tofu bacon is the true abomination. It isn't even meat.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus
Posts: 4345/4539
Alex waited for the others to go first, but they just stayed silent, awkwardly, for what seemed like months!

"Well," he says finally. "I would first like to establish the question of fruits and vegetables, which one is a tomato?" He looks around the large auditorium, "I say that if it is a fruit, it may be put in ice cream, and I never plan to have tomato flavored ice cream. I say that if it is a fruit, it may be put in some types of cereal, but I say that tomato flavored cereal sounds nasty.

"Second," he continues, "I would like to address the topic of bacon! After all, is anything more Xeomerican than bacon? I say no! Some might suggest the blasphemy of altering this bacon to be made out of turkey, but I would say that this some bit of tolerance is blasphemous and must be forgotten immediately, for turkey bacon has almost no grease, which is just an abomination.
Posts: 8569/9733
Will there be turkey bacon for those of us that do not like or cannot eat pork bacon?
Posts: 10299/11747
That I will share, because I love bacon and everyone deserves some.

Bacon and eggs.
True Flight
Posts: 5200/5243
how much bacon are you willing to give us?
Posts: 10296/11747
Neither because I hate tomatoes but love fruit and vegetables so I declare it nothingness.
True Flight
Posts: 5196/5243
Candidates... Is it a tomato a fruit or vegetable?
Lord Vulkas Mormonus
Posts: 4329/4539
"Ah, the Dark Admin!" called out Lord Vulkas Mormonus. "We have studied you well, in secret..."

He paused for a moment, "And I know your weakness...for who can resist...cute puppies?!"

The screen updated.

Posts: 2734/2746
Phoenix heard the laughter and turned, looking around to find the source of the uproar. He was unsure if this was part of the debate, but the moderator looked more confused now than they had before.

As the sound cut off and the figure dropped from the shadows, Phoenix tried not to laugh at the pink coat.

"And who are you, exactly?" Phoenix glanced at Alex, unsure of what was going on.
Dark Admin
Posts: -5/-3
From behind the two new-found friends, a voice began laughing. It grew louder and louder, cackling well into hysterics before suddenly cutting off.

By then, the entire audience had focused their attention towards the back of the stage, questioning where the maniacal laughter had originated.

They got their answer as a pink cloaked figure dropped from the catwalks, their eyes glowing a bright green from within the shadows of a hood.

"I declare myself Xeodent in the place of these incompetent fools!"
Posts: 2732/2746
Phoenix looked down at Alex, a little...perturbed that Alex's face had literally turned into an emoticon. But, he was smiling just as large, regardless.

Also looking down at the moderator, the entire crowd seemed to murmur quietly, wondering what would happen.

"Maybe a shared responsibility?"
Lord Vulkas Mormonus
Posts: 4327/4539
Alex accepted the hug. "Tell you what, I forgive you today, but you do that again, I stab you with a spork, xD."

The moderator looked confused. "So...who does tihs mean is the Xeodent?"
Posts: 2728/2746
Phoenix bowed his head.

"It is true that I disappeared. It is true that, while given the responsibility of watching over Xeomerica, I left; almost without notice. My personal life became too much for me to handle, and I was overwhelmed with stress. For that, I apologize.

"However, times have changed. I am here to serve as a guardian for this realm, and I will not sit back and watch this country be torn apart. It was only recently that this board began posting in the double digits again. Of course," Phoenix put up a hand, "I do not take full credit for this. My rival also has a large part in this. My rival...who is also a friend."

Putting down his hand, Phoenix walked over, once again, to Vulkar's podium.

"I apologize for not writing you. Those accusations are not false. Even with the invention of the text message, I am terrible at keeping in contact with friends."

The man's face reflected the words that he spoke, and he put out both of arms, offering an embrace.
Lord Vulkas Mormonus
Posts: 4317/4539
Lord Vulkas Mormonus looked at Elara, surely she should know this.

"I would like to first off establish that I was a man of my word," he stated. "When I left Xeogaming for my mission, I announced it, promising to send letters to the board on a regular basis. When I discovered that the administrator I had left to send these letters to the board had disappeared, I promptly took action, sending all the other information to you, Elara, who took over and made sure that everyone heard from me.

"Now, you may say that since then I haven't been too active, but I disagree. While I did not post, my eyes have been on the board almost nonstop, and indeed, you may say that my posting has occurred at least once everyone few weeks."

He pointed at the burning bird, "This man, however, has only posted once in the last year since yesterday. Now, you may ask why, and I will give you the answer. It is because he has been far too busy slaughtering astronauts with his racist prejudices! Because of his hatred of astronauts and sim-battle veterans, he abandoned us here at the board!"

A tear appeared in Vulkar's eyes as he pondered this, "he left us. Furthermore, despite promises to write me on the mission, sending me perfumed letters, he was silent!"

Vulkar broke down sobbing in his grief.
Posts: 2720/2746
Originally posted by Elara
"Candidates! How can you assure us that you will not simply vanish like you did last time?"

The quote flickered onto the large screen in comic sans font. Poor taste, whoever was moderating this debate.

"Candidates, the debate shall continue at a later time. Let's answer this question, and anymore that come from the audience for the time being. Vulkar, since Phoenix started the debate, you shall go first in this segment."
Posts: 8504/9733
"Ahem," Elara gains the candidates attention as she raises her voice.

"Candidates! How can you assure us that you will not simply vanish like you did last time?"
Lord Vulkas Mormonus
Posts: 4313/4539
Lord Vulkas Mormonus pulled up his pants, and spoke. "I fear that Phoenix has misspoke," he said. Yes, I may walk on stilts, but this is only because I lost my feet in the great war of 2005, where, while battling Shin-Ra for the honor of the Xeomerica in the sim-battling arena, I had them dismembered, and must now walk only in these stilts!"

He looked angrily at Phoenix, "he mocks my sacrifices in this great war! I accuse this man nt only of being a racist, hating astronauts, and being a big jerkface, but also of hating simbattle veterans! What. A. Poopsieface."

"Furthermore!" he continued, "if this man wanted to make me believe that he was only my vice-Xeodent, then it is he, not I who is guilty of fraudulence."

Alex paused for a second considering. "And by the way, it wasn't her, it was her roommate, and I was told it was naptime!"
Dark Admin
Posts: 4/-3
From behind the two fools standing on stage, green eyes glinted eagerly from the shadows of the catwalk.
Posts: 2707/2746
The buzz was unexpected for Phoenix. He surely didn't recall putting anyone in charge of such a silly thing.

"First things first!" Phoenix re-rebuttaled. "He did sleep with that woman. It was a dark night and he said he'd call me back and never did."

Wiping the tears from his eyes, the heartbroken candidate went on, "And as for the Astronaut allegations, I was simply carrying out the wishes of Vulkar himself! I never declared myself his Vice-Xeodent, but simply let him believe so! As we all know, a term as Xeodent is only *states an amount days leading up to today*. Even if I chose to step down, I would be Xeodent for the time of Vulkar's leave of absence."

"However! Along with these false allegations this traitor brings to stage, he also brings with him..." Phoenix walks across stage, grabbing the pants of his competitor and ripping them down, revealing Hello Kitty underwear and a pair of stilts. "Wood! But not just any wood! This wood is made especially by a certain man showing hentai to the treefolk of this world and cutting it off. The man I speak of is !X!, the known trickster of this town!"

Another buzz went off just as Phoenix finished.

"Vulkar, please pull up your pants and continue," a voice echoed out.
Posts: 8485/9733
*Pats Cteno on the head in a only slightly patronizing manner*

"Yes, sweetie... I think you should."

Astronaut hatred and charges of racism? Oh this is going to be a most spirited debate indeed. I hope that a mystery candidate does indeed show up.
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - The Current State of Xeomerica

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