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|I always find child discipline to be a touchy subject because everyone has a really strong opinion about it in one way or another.
I was spanked. I had pepper poured down my throat by a grandparent.
As I got older, I was just sent to my room.
Personally, it seems to depend on the child. Some parents think taking away toys or raising your voice in any way is too harsh.
I'm starting to take notes on Louis CK and what he says about "bad parents" around 6:25 in the video below:
I will say this, though. What that woman in the first post did is pretty cruel and mentally-destructive.
But I refuse to give Dr. Phil any credit for uncovering that. He's a huckster who only points out a problem and does nothing more than poke at it for ratings.
|Just be stern and strong to the little punk, show him who's boss. A strong grip to stop them or being Da Law will do the trick. They just might cry, but that's what they get for being little pricks.
My little bro can be a handful sometimes but my dad has pretty strong authority. The boom of his yelling voice is terrifying.
|You see, there is a fine line between beating and spanking your kids.
If your kids have bruises from the amount of force in your means of "Spanking" then to me you are doing it too hard. An adult has more force than a kid does. Meaning an adult can actually do damage to a child physically if done wrong.
Hell I even asked my dad how he spanked me and he laughed and asked why I brought it up. I shown him the video and even he was cringed by it.
Now mind you that my own father has torn my ass a new one in the past. But this is my childhood memory. Does it scare me today? No. Have I learned my lesson back then? Yes!
All it takes is a little force with a belt. Hell he even had a pillow and did in his EXACT force needed to not only sting the child. But not enough to where it broke the skin. Then, in theory, what would happen if he used his full force? My father, with an oxygen tank, literally used his belt to tear one of his used pillows and tore it open with his belt.
Now that is a difference.
So what does this mean? Spanking and beating your kids is a very huge difference.
Also, if you never read this book: You need to.
"A child called It".
Based on a true story, this book is the beginning of the Dave Pelzer Saga. A survivor in extreme child abuse. Swallowing Bleach, taking 5 hour cold baths, skating in ice cold weather in nothing but his underwear, and having his own brothers and sisters mock him while he went through it all. All the while being just there. Abused. Beaten.
|Tears literally welled up in my eyes when I saw just HOW much hotsauce that kid had in his mouth, and then I couldn't watch anymore once that BABY was screaming in that shower.
I got the shit kicked outta me. And it had it's ups and downs. I remember having an itch up my nose, scratching it, and my father grabbing me by the shoulders, shaking me and screaming in my face, and when the asthma attack followed, be beat the shit outta me, telling me I was faking it, threw me into the bathroom, and told me not to come out until I've cleaned my nose, because I was a fucking dirtball for "picking my nose."
I was 5.
I come out to him and my little sister pretending to pick their noses, laughing and making fun of me.
My mom backhanding me in the mouth after she repeatedly told me NOT to say "Son of a bitch." That worked. I sniffled a bit, but I never did it again, in that context. (I grew up and curse, lol.) but yeah...
It's like what's been said. I don't think it HAS to be completely erradicated, but hitting your child isn't always the answer either. I think a lot of things depend on the child too. You know what, in reality, worked for me? Guilt. I NEVER wanted to dissappoint my grandparents...and I still work VERY hard not to. I just love them so damn much. And I love them especially for knowing HOW to use guilt. They didn't throw it around. They instilled values and just made it perfectly clear that there are things that would dissappoint them, and things that were okay. And by "making me feel bad" in reality, it was just them honoring their word. They said they'd be dissappointed over certain things, and they sure as shit were.
Where as one of my sisters, taking things away from her, like toys and freedoms and such, THAT worked most effectively for her. And one of my other sisters....the corner...or having to sit still ANYwhere for any amount of time...worked wonders for her. It's the individual child.
The point is discipline. NOT torture. Hot sauce? Holding it in that long? That could cause health problems. Hot sauce is NOT meant for small children. Cold showers? Can we say "REALLY sick". That bitch is gonna give her kid fucking...hjghfhgjkhfj
Originally posted by Bitmap
I remember standing in the corner for 15 minutes felt like two hours when I was little!
|I dunno I got the shit beaten out of when I did something wrong and I pretty much never did this again.
I dunno where I would be if I got hot sauce and a cold shower.
Hell standing in a corner for two hours was torture enough for me.
|When a child makes a mistake, it's good to be a loving and understanding parent and explain why what they did was wrong, otherwise they won't learn.
If they deliberately do something naughty then I personally believe that a sore behind is a good way to teach them not to do it again.
A lot of parents don't understand the difference between accidentally knocking over the vase and throwing it against the wall. Too many would punish exactly the same in either situation.
Another thing that bugs me is when a child isn't doing anything wrong but is talking up a storm (like a 2 year old babbling/talking or whatnot) and the parent threatens multiple times in 30 minutes with a spanking... Not the kind of thing to punish for. You're an adult, deal with it.
Even worse is when parents constantly threaten with spankings but never do anything. That teaches the child that threats mean nothing and they end up walking all over the parent and other people later in life. Or better yet, the "wait until your father gets home" routine. Oh sure, put it all on the other parent! This is also very terrifying for children, not knowing when the other adult will return from work or wherever.
|This is absolutely bloody ridiculous. I haven't ever raised any kids obviously, but I've been a significant part of well over 15 kids lives through the ages of 1-9. I don't agree with your statement either, Nagis, but it's a lot more understandable than what this woman is doing.
I think this will, in fact, prevent the kid from doing bad things. But he'll continue to live his life running away from his mistakes, in fear of being screamed at. Much more so than the cold shower and the hot sauce, that woman was verbally abusing her son. When kids are that young (I'm assuming he was 4-5) they learn want they can do to get power over adults. By making such a huge deal about it, he learns that if he's being ignored or he is unhappy, all he needs to do is do something bad and he'll be the center of attention.
Kids are extremely impressionable. He'll either grow up to be so timid and unhappy, or he'll be depressingly angry.
In my opinion.
|As a general rule, I don't think physical punishments should be necessary. If they're needed more than once in a very rare while, odds are you've been doing something wrong.
But they shouldn't be a complete non-option either. I think too many people are too extreme on this, there's a lot that think spanking is needed for everything and a lot that think it should never be used. The goal, as I see it, should be to make your child respect your authority enough to not need to be hit every single time they do something wrong. Go too far and the child will fear and resent you... a difference that is lost on too many people.
I haven't raised any kids, but I work in retail and have babysat in the past. Including for two of the worst-behaved kids I've ever seen... which were hit regularly. I barely needed to even raise my voice and they'd listen to me, but their parents? Heh. Haha. AHAHAHAHAHAHno. Not a word. It's not the catch-all solution a lot of people would claim.
|So, let's say you have a kid. In this day in age you learn that not spanking your child for doing something wrong is acceptable.
Now, before I link you this video. It's mentally graphic. I find it fucked up. It reminds me when I read the book called "A child called It". If you never read that book then you really need to pick it up. I read it in my high school year and it's a damn good book. Fucked up. But good.
Anyways, this video came to my eyes and it's even worse than spanking. Hell, It's mentally unhealthy for the child. Now mind you that I will link it as "Straight from Dr. Phil". But it's not how he recommend spanking children.
Straight from Dr. Phil
When I was young: I had hard hard spankings enough to where my ass could not REST. But that video? That is fucked up.
My sister told me that she put hot sauce whenever her kids bite her.
Will hot sauce prevent the next time? Possibly. But what would I do?
I would bite them back! See how they like it!
Slap in the face? I would slap them back!
Doing bad in school? Spank them! Let them know if they continue to do bad then they have to answer to a belt or your hand!
This generation to me? It's washed out. New techniques are made to replace the physical pain. Hot sauce can be an acquired taste. But a beat in the ass can remind you to NOT FUCK with your parents.
Fuck that mother.
E- Just learned that the kid in that video was adopted. What the fuck.