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| Rogue Posts: 4824/11918 |
To be honest, those first three questions are really awkward.
Might as well go on a date with a girl and ask, "How much do you weigh (or rather how much does your mom weigh. Best idea of what you're going to look like in 25 years would be to look at her afterall)? How many people have you slept with? Oh and are you willing to pay for your meal or do you expect me to shell out for you every time?" While your questions definitely are good to know if you're trying to have a nice, comfortable relationship with someone sometimes it's best not to immediately ask about occupation, especially not in a "Are you self-employed or in the military?" kinda way. Does that feel natural to ask? Even "What do you do?" can sometimes be offensive as some men take it as a woman fishing for what she thinks are important: money or status. And sometimes it gets answered snidely with, "I'm not what I do." Were you married? Well, unless you've been dating a while this really doesn't need to be asked. What's more talking about marriage in any sense outside of a serious relationship spooks most men away. Chances are after a date or two, if they have been married before, they'll bring it up in conversation. Lastly, (regarding the how you left your last Now again, those are great things to know, but then again so's if a person has STDs, are in debt, have anger issues, have been in jail, went to school, do drugs, drink, or has ambitions of dropping everything and sailing around the world one day. I offer up these: "Tell me about yourself. What do you for fun?" (He answers.) "Oh, tell me about that." - Opens up the conversation with something he likes to talk about and if you show interest he's more likely to expand on himself and be more receptive to your questions. Analyze away, if you like, at how he spends his time and money. If you want to ask him about his job, mention what you do first or wait for him to bring it up. As I mentioned, bringing it up hints that you're interested in money or at least rating him based on his job. A man who collects garbage is probably not going to want to admit it if a woman is demanding to know honest work he does to pay the bills. And after more talk and when things are much more comfortable: "So, you got any siblings?" - You're looking to hear if he's got a sister or two, and what's more you want to hear what things are like between him and her. Sisters and mothers are what mold a man's ideas of women and how he treats and respects them. I had a slightly abusive boyfriend some years back who admitted to me that he secretly wanted to kill his mother because of how she'd treated him. I felt sorry for him and in a stupid sense thought I could fix him, but it's naive to think you can change a person, especially if you don't feel that attached to them to begin with. |
| Elara Posts: 4907/9736 |
Good advice. For the most part sounds like the same stuff I say. I think you left out a word or two in the last sentence of the During a Relationship section though. |
| True Flight Posts: 3572/5245 |
Please let me vent out what i have told several people around me who have asked me for dating advice. I also think you should add on if you want.
The purpose of this rant is to give those who ask me for dating advice my point of view to three situations:
For those of you who are thinking about dating someone you really should try to fit these three questions in your conversations with that someone.
During a Relationship First of all dating should be fun. It's supposed to be going out and getting to know that one someone more than ever.I say when it starts feeling like a chore that's when you know things are getting sour. This is supposed to be someone you're closer to. When you're dating you're really getting to know THAT PERSON. The little things are NOT that big. Stop focusing on them and get back in the game. LEAVE HIM if this person is being shady. This person is messing with your trust and relationships are built upon trust and love. Remember I said AND meaning that you need both, not just one or the other. Dumping When dumping someone you will need three things with you: A friend A cell phone Your car Keep in mind of the when and where issues. You need to get your timing right. Always make sure the person being dumped is NOT going through a lot at the time. It's just the way it is. If they are going through a ton then you stick around for a bit. Timing just sucks when someones parent, family member, or pet died that day. *sighs* There I'm done giving my part... and my rant to everyone... this is everything I have been saying. |
