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Malons Knight

Marinethief








Since: 12-03-04
From: Michigan

Since last post: 6255 days
Last activity: 6220 days
Posted on 04-06-06 11:11 PM Link | Quote
Have you ever made a mistake that you have lived to regret? Have you ever hurt the one you care about? Then you know my pain. You think about the way you hurt them, that thing you did, those words you said, will haunt you for the rest of your life. That is why God invented forgiveness, my friend. As I am sure, you have received forgiveness from the one you love and you have started to forgive yourself.
Then something happens, you are to busy thinking to say good-bye, or they just forgot to. You are heart-broken. You have spent the past days/weeks/months realizing how you still have feelings for them but you don’t want to hurt them anymore. You have spent all this time remembering what a wonderful, beautiful, loving, caring, kind, compassionate person they are, and you want to spend all the time in the world with them but you can’t because then you run the risk of hurting them again and you can’t do that. You would rather die then hurt them again. You can imagine yourself in a medieval torture chamber, taking whips and laughing because they are happy. You can see your self diving in front of them and taking a bullet for them; Anything to keep them safe and happy. That is why you can’t let them be your friend anymore. You think of all the good times you shared, all the happy memories, then how you messed it all up, and you just want to forget, forget about everything. So you don’t hurt them, so you don’t hurt yourself, and so you don’t hurt them. You need to forget.


This is a story i wrote to myself. I have just been through a wonderful relationship, which was ended because my girlfriend thought it would make me happy and a terrible one, which i ended because i still had feelings for my original girlfriend and i didn't want to hurt her, plus my new girlfriend says that i am not good enough. I still have feelings for my first girlfriend but i hurt her. I was trying to help and that just made things worse. I didn't want to hurt her. While was still going out with my first girlfriend (Girl A) my second girlfriend (Girl B) was hanging all over me, and because i have an insane need for attention, i did nothing about this. This made Girl A think that i liked Girl B so Girl A ended our relationship to make me happy. Me being an idiot went out with Girl B. Girl A is very sad and lonely. Girl B doesn't care. I realize that Girl B thinks i am not good enough so i end my relationship with her. Then i cry my eyes, in sorrow over what i did to the girl i still have feelings for, Girl A. I have many a conversation and she forgives me. I am still depressed. I can't forgive myself. I need to forgive myself because Girl A doesn't like me being depressed and it makes her sad hurting her. So i need to forgive myself but i can't. Does anyone have any helpful tips on how to do just that?
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 73 days
Last activity: 73 days
Posted on 04-08-06 02:33 AM Link | Quote
Does she want you back? If she does, go for it.

I've been in that girl's place... except my boyfriend actually left me for the other girl. Though he didn't actually go out with her (she had a boyfriend and was just using him). He was sad and miserable... a lot like how you describe. He didn't want to come back because he didn't want to hurt me, he couldn't forgive himself and thought he wasn't worthy. It lasted 18 days before we got back together and we haven't been happier.

Tell her how you feel about her and see what she says, then go from there.
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