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03-28-24 03:12 PM
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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - Weird Jokes I Heard First Block Friday | |
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True Flight

The One








Since: 08-21-04

Since last post: 2663 days
Last activity: 2648 days
Posted on 03-11-06 11:31 AM Link | Quote
Last Friday I have heard so many jokes, but some of them were kind of old. Finally a friend of mine looks at me and laughs saying this one joke:

A man goes to a bar. All of a sudden a drunkard looks at the man and begins to talk, "May I ask you a question?"

The man nods.

"You see that pier out there?" the drunkard said. "I built that pier. Blood, sweat, and tears, but do they call me Henry the pier builder?" He shook his head. "No..." The drunkard then leaves leaving the man alone.

The next day the man comes back into the bar and the drunkard approaches him again. "May I ask you a question?"

The man nodded.

"You see that fence out there?" the drunkard said. "I built that fence. Blood, sweat, and tears, but do they call me Henry the fence builder?" He shook his head. "No..." The drunkard then leaves again, leaving the man alone.

The next day the man goes back to the bar and the drunkard approaches him again. "May I ask you a question?"

The man nodded.

"You see that building out there?" the drunkard said. "I built that building. Blood, sweat and tears, but do they call me Henry the building builder?" He shook his head. "No... but if you sleep with one goat."


The Communists captured this American soldier. They wanted information out of him, but they couldn't get it out of them. So the commander walked up to the soldier. "Okay," he said, "here's what's going to happen, we're going to let you go, only if you do these three things. There are three tents and in each of them is a test. The first tent is full of alcohol, you have to drink all of that alcohol, then the next tent is a lion. This lion is mad because of a tooth ache. If you can pass that test, then you go to the next tent. In the next tent is a woman who has never been satisfied and will probably never be. You have to satisfy her."

The soldier nodded and the Communists took him to the first tent. It took him about 5 hours to drink all of that alcohol. Finally he came out drunk. Really drunk. Then the Communists took him to the lion. They all waited outside, and they heard this lion growling and roaring like there's no tomorrow. They all thought the soldier was getting his butt handed to him, but he left the tent. "Okay," The sholdier said, "Where's the woman with the tooth ache?"


A missionary went to West Africa. He lived with a tribe. All of a sudden the chief's daughter had a white baby. So the chief grabbed the missionary by the collar. "I'm going to have to kill you because you slept with my daughter."

The missionary shook his head and got out of the chief's clutches. "No, it's just a thing of nature," the missionary said. He pointed out to a flock of sheep. "See the sheep? They're all white except for that one that's black. It's just a thing of nature."

The chief crossed his arms and had a shocked face. "Okay... I won't tell anyone about you sleeping with my daughter, if you don't tell anyone about me sleeping with the sheep."


I know these are all bad, but that's been my first block.
Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 395 days
Last activity: 204 days
Posted on 03-11-06 12:56 PM Link | Quote
Heh, I've heard these before.

But just to add to the dirty jokes:

What's the difference between menstrual blood and sand?

You can't gargle sand.
WhiteRose

Warrior
Sailor Delerium

Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no ones ever eaten before? Like chicken and telephone ice cream?...Green mouse ice cream was the worst.








Since: 08-17-04
From: The Dreaming

Since last post: 4213 days
Last activity: 4917 days
Posted on 03-15-06 11:50 PM Link | Quote
I've actually heard the one about the missionary in africa. Actually, I saw in a comic strip, in spanish and it was a goat instead of sheep. I actually fell out of my chair laughing when I read it.

The other two were also funny, especially the second one.
Katana

Dark Wizard
\"She said tonight...come on come on collide...see what I fire feels like..I bet its just like heaven.\"








Since: 08-15-04
From: Philadelphia, P.A.

Since last post: 1316 days
Last activity: 1133 days
Posted on 03-21-06 06:30 PM Link | Quote
The second two were funny. But either I didn't get the first one, or I don't think sleeping with a goat was funny...in that first one at least.
§tOnErXXJibb

Paragoomba








Since: 03-27-06
From: Gunz Server 3

Since last post: 6522 days
Last activity: 6519 days
Posted on 03-27-06 07:26 PM Link | Quote
Yeahh.. Well.. I was told that " My mommas so fat when she dances the band skips.." but hey thats funny.. right? right? eh? lol...
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