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Xeogaming Forums - Xeo's Hot Tub - If Santa answered his letters honestly | |
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Rogue
If you're reading this... You are the Resistance











Since: 08-17-04

Since last post: 396 days
Last activity: 204 days
Posted on 12-16-08 01:00 PM Link | Quote
A friend forwarded this to me. It's rather silly, but it's good for a cheap laugh here or there.


If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.....

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a
career in lawncare. How about I send
you a book so you can learn to read and
spell? I'm giving your older brother the
space ranger. At least HE can spell.

Santa

*****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the
only thing I ask for is peace and joy in
the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you,
didn't they?

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for
Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and
daddy to get back together. Please
see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter
like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you
think he's gonna give that up to come
back to your frigid mom, who rides his
ass constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train,
some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony
and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays?
I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a
Barbie.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the
tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer
outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots
make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do
me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
Scotch.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days
of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have
a condo in Vegas where I spend most of
my time making low-budget porno films.
I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the a$$es of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping,
do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good
luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.

Santa

****************************************************

Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year.
Please, please, please, PLEASE,
PLEASE could I have one?

Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work
with your folks, but that crap doesn't
work with me. You're getting a sweater
again.

Santa

****************************************************

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house.
How do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself 'Marky', that's
why you're getting your ass whipped at
school. Second, you don't live in a house,
you live in a low-rent apartment complex.
Third, I get inside your pad just like the
boogeyman does: through your bedroom
window.

Sweet dreams, Santa
Elara

Divine Mamkute
Dark Elf Goddess
Chaos Imp
Penguins Fan

Ms. Invisable








Since: 08-15-04
From: Ferelden

Since last post: 74 days
Last activity: 74 days
Posted on 12-16-08 03:22 PM Link | Quote
*falls off bed while giggling insanely*

That made me happy.
Cteno

Super Shotgun
Moderator








Since: 01-11-05

Since last post: 1602 days
Last activity: 723 days
Posted on 12-17-08 08:34 AM Link | Quote
Originally posted by Rogue
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping,
do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good
luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
your house.

Santa


Hahaha, oh wow!
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