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|I'm so sorry hun. Really. I'm really glad you're admitting that you're angry and sad about this though. And I'm glad that Eric has been patient with you. You definitely deserve it. My thoughts are definitely with his family as well.|
I am SO sorry, True! But Rogue is right, you can't beat yourself up over this. There was no way you could have known. As corny as it sounds, what matters is that he lives on in your memories. You might be too hurt and sad to really accept that right now, but in time I hope that brings you some comfort.
|You can't blame yourself. There was just no way of knowing.|
|Yeah he was truly a great friend. The best friend. I just wish I had gone with my gut feeling on this one. He probably would've listened to me.|
|What a guy. That's quite a letter.|
|I wish I had known ahead of time. Maybe something I could've prevented him from volunteering to deploy to provide for his two kids (separate moms). =_= I got along with him because as soon as I put on some techno in my room he told me to "shut that shit off and turn on some Basshunter."
He and I would slide down the halls in the barracks in our footie pajamas. I actually had to go the hospital one day because I hit my head and the Drill Sergeant was scared that I had a concussion. He came with me with one of his other buddies.
When he was stationed in Ft Benning, HE WAS THE ONE THAT taught me if I was broke and wanted to get drunk all I needed was 5 dollars and a punch line, or I could go to the gay bar and do absolutely nothing just sit there alone while he went to the bathroom. He even protected me from the Ft. Benning PFCs that got out of the base for the weekend for hookah. He was an awesome buddy. I don't know how many times he bailed me out.
The last conversation we had was about this deployment. I told him I was against it, it's just something in my gut that I knew SOMETHING was going to happen. He was going to change or even worse. I wished him luck and told him I'm only saying it because I can't change his mind and I don't want to say anything that I will regret.
I got a letter in the mail from him. It was dated a couple days before his last mission. "I just want to continue the writing of letters. I loved you in Ft. Gordon and I will always love you now. I can't wait to see D'arcy and Eric for the first time. He better live up to what I want you to find in a man. Someone like me HAHAHAHAH! You'll never find an asshole like me. Get over yourself girl!"
|I'm so very, very sorry, True. I don't know what I could possibly say to take away the pain.
I wish you, as well as his family, well in such a trying time.
|So I get news that a real close friend of mine died a couple weeks ago in Afghanistan. His mother called me from Arizona to give me the details of his funeral. Since most of his family lives near Arlington they are going to have his funeral there in the cemetery with the unknown soldier. Caissons are going to be there and everything. She wanted to know if I can't make it if I wanted a DVD of the ceremony. Of course I refused. I don't want to remember him like that.
After finding out I guess I have been avoiding the subject by starting arguements with Eric. He's been very understanding about it. We continue running so I can release some pent up depression but its helping g just a Tad.
I just don't really want to think about it. He was supposed to come out and visit to see the babe when he got back.
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